[Other/Multiple Temperaments] Question for Ne doms

[prplchknz]

ok so it's saying that ENxPs are often the most introverted of the extroverted types. so I have this theory that a lot of it may be because when they expressed themselves as kids got a lot of negative feed back when they said their thoughts. I don't mean like put the ne dom down on purpose but a lot of "that's random" or "where did that come from" i dunno what i'm trying to convey well i do but i can't properly. so how did people react to you when you were yourself as a kid? in a way that made you want to continue being yourself and continue to share your true thoughts. or in a way as such that though you weren't beaten with a bully stick (which is bull's testicles btw) it made you not confident in expressing yourself, out of fear of being ostracized or not liked.

I really don't know I am willing to be wrong or right or both

and do you find yourself to be more "introverted" than the average extrovert?

Oh and i tagged my friend's list because it was easier than thinking of every Ne dom on the forum. so stop asking why you're tagged if you're not Ne dom

 

[HongDou]

yeah, i got a lot of comments from adults and other kids for saying random things at random times and i am a lot calmer now compared to then. but i still think i'm pretty outgoing, energetic, and talkative and stuff. i think all ExxPs were pretty random/weird kids one way or another, but ESxPs typically learn best through experience while ENxPs have inferior Si possibly making it harder for them to take information from their past experiences and adapting to that information (at least that's how it went down for me).

 

[Kullervo]

I've always wondered why Ne doms talk so damn much. Even the men.

 

[five sounds]

ok so it's saying that ENxPs are often the most introverted of the extroverted types. so I have this theory that a lot of it may be because when they expressed themselves as kids got a lot of negative feed back when they said their thoughts. I don't mean like put the ne dom down on purpose but a lot of "that's random" or "where did that come from" i dunno what i'm trying to convey well i do but i can't properly. so how did people react to you when you were yourself as a kid? in a way that made you want to continue being yourself and continue to share your true thoughts. or in a way as such that though you weren't beaten with a bully stick (which is bull's testicles btw) it made you not confident in expressing yourself, out of fear of being ostracized or not liked.

I really don't know I am willing to be wrong or right or both

and do you find yourself to be more "introverted" than the average extrovert?

yep. i think that's very much true to my experience. i was rewarded for creativity when they were within the realm of what people found 'acceptable', but i recall very early on thinking "i need to tone it down or no one will like me". i became much less extroverted then, and tried to blend in more. i was often told that i was being too silly, or that my ideas and choices were weird.

 

[five sounds]

I've always wondered why Ne doms talk so damn much. Even the men.

brainstorming out loud. it's the Ne way.

 

[kyuuei]

Even as an adult I'm paranoid and cautious about what I say and do infront of others.. 27 year olds just aren't suppose to jump around and be hyper and declare people their friends on a whim like they're in 2nd grade.

 

[Kullervo]

brainstorming out loud. it's the Ne way.

I would feel quite awkward brainstorming out loud, though I tend to hum a lot and walk around randomly (which irritates my family).

There are obvious merits to talking/reading something out loud though. I have noticed that doing this makes whatever-it-is much easier to remember. I was more talking about general conversation though: I tend to get a bit overwhelmed by the intensity of Ne users (doms especially) when they talk to me or chat on Skype. They also send really long, detailed emails, whereas I tend to be very conscise and to the point.

 

[prplchknz]

Even as an adult I'm paranoid and cautious about what I say and do infront of others.. 27 year olds just aren't suppose to jump around and be hyper and declare people their friends on a whim like they're in 2nd grade.

I like when people do that, as long as i'm in the mood and they're cool

 

[prplchknz]

I started having the problem the Ne doms described late highschool early college. I would have the thoughts but was shy and never expressed them til i was a sophmore in highschool. I guess i was called weird as a kid but I was never told to stop talking. if anything I was told to talk more.

 

[alcea rosea]

I felt very accepted as a child as I were. Thanks to ESFP dad and INFJ mom.

I've experinced people not understanding me later in my life. It did bother me at one time but these days I'm so ok with who I am and how I am (personality) that I don't really care if people don't like me or if they critisize me.

I have always been very extraverted and very talkative. I still am. I have tried to learn how to talk less in group situations. I'm sometimes more succesful and sometimes less.

 

[chubber]

Although I think I'm not Ne, I could relate to what has been said in this thread.

My childhood from what I can remember was pretty much like what I have read here.

Talking that seems weird, unrelated to the current conversation. When I think it is in fact, related.

Called weird, yes definitely.

However from early childhood, I would always focus on one person at a time, never a group of friends. When I appeared on camera, I was the clown. When I saw it, I felt like sticking my head into the sand. When I went to high school, I flipped around, and became even more introverted. Instead of being the annoying kid in the class, I became the super silent one, new setting, new persona. Made a real good friend, only in high school. By inviting myself to his birthday party. My first real friend since I was 4 years old in pre-school, who I defended.

I think what set in high school, was depression and anger. Suppressing my anger mostly, that I didn't fit in, I wasn't in demand. Although I had a friend, it became worse. In my 20s, I focussed on my career but at the same time felt that I wasn't real to everyone around me, I started caring more about other people, those that I was not suppose to care about in a group setting. I wasn't true to myself, I submitted to what everyone else wanted, but never felt happy with myself. Nobody seemed to aligned with my values or even listened to what I wanted. My views were always seen as wrong.

From my parents, my mother was a double edged sword, she encouraged me with art, but she oppressed anything else that I expressed. There was more oppression than anything else that I can remember. I can't say that I was motived, more depressed most of the time since I wasn't allowed to do what I wanted to do.

She uses shame as a method to get what she wants.

I was a loner, no real friends. I mean friend where you can be yourself and share same values. Sure you get friends that accepts you, but not a 100% of it. I guess one cannot really expect that. I always felt cut off because my thinking is too different from everyone else.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

Why'd I get tagged?

I suppose Ti got me in trouble as a kid. Can't speak for Ne.

 

[Betty Blue]

No-One Like A Why Kid

This is what I had most difficulty if we are thinking in terms of functions. The education system as a whole is set up to produce average graded people. It has a pretty rigid structure from age 3 all the way to age 16 ish... it's only really when you get to university that you can start to write your own material.

As such Ne doms may feel very confined and restricted as they naturally want to push the boundaries of the ordinary and explore outside of systems. Often this is sen as a threat and dealt with accordingly. Schools can be pretty military in their approach to dealing with children, at least thats how it felt to me.

I did have a sparse few teachers throughout my school years who encouraged me to develop skills in areas not specific to the curriculum and to explore beyond that. In an exam they don't really want extra information, they want tidy neat rows of what they asked for. This information was never particularly difficult in itself but the format was.

I think Ne dome are often seen as 'bright' or 'promising' and lots of extra work gets piled on them when really they should be allowed to continue on their own trajectory. (As with most kids imo, they just need some framework reference point)

 

[prplchknz]

Why'd I get tagged?

I suppose Ti got me in trouble as a kid. Can't speak for Ne.

if you are tagged and not an Ne dom, there's not a reason other than I just did tag friend's list. as I'm sure there's a lot of Ne doms, if this doesn't apply to you don't worry about it. I'm not accusing anyone of anything

 

[Qlip]

As a kid I was way too into my own thing to notice how people responded to me. I feel like I was gregarious and oblivious. It's only into adolescence did I learn to see at the rules and expectations, they were overwhelming, and that's when I withdrew.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

I'll contribute anyway, from a Ti perspective.
[MENTION=9160]HelenOfTroy[/MENTION] I asked why a lot, and I constantly questioned established systems of thinking and operating, but I did so because, by my very nature, I must always hold external logic to the close scrutiny of my internal logic, or Ti. I have a Ne dom sister, and I remember her also being a "why" kid, but she asked why a lot because her dominant Ne caused her to constantly see alternatives to established systems where other types might not see so many alternatives. I think this is partly why Ne doms and Ne auxes can often appear "scatterbrained" or all over the place with their thinking, but when they can learn to focus that Ne through the lens of their introverted judging, it can be a powerful thing.

I think "why" kids often intimidate authority and educational figures or catch them off guard, because educational systems are too rigid for Ne thinking, in many cases

 

[Samvega]

I selected both, my parents were great, affirming, amazing, they called me "motor mouth" and used to tell me "you only have so many words and when you run out you're won't be able to talk anymore" to which I'm like "why?" I always wanted to know how shit worked and my mom (ESFJ) used to buy me odd adding machines and stuff from thrift shops to let me take apart instead of toys (which I just took apart anyway). Dad (ENFP) was handy and affirming also, always happen to go all Ne with me.

It got rough for me around middle school, lots of funny looks and such when I said the random shit in my head or spouted off about some odd idea that they couldn't see the interconnects of. I also did a lot of things that would have seemed really odd to them, mixing chemicals in classes, making accidental bombs, the police showing up at my school for me. I was different for sure and "odd" or "crazy" to them which made me withdraw a little for sure as I didn't get them and they didn't get me.

PS Good question and idea but I think we're the most introverted as a result of our functions, Ne doesn't really need people to extrovert, Fi has little use for people and Ti has zero use for people at all, for me, I just need them to bounce ideas off of, see reactions and so on.

 

[Lady_X]

i was a shy kid because i felt everyone was so different...i never felt weird in my family but everyone else seemed way more normal.

it took me awhile to realize people liked that i said off the wall things and it was okay to be different.

 

[Bush]

It's very much bandied about that Ne-doms come across as the 'most introverted extraverts.' I personally don't see it. But if it's true, it's because their focus is less directly placed on tangible aspects of the outside world than others.

 

[prplchknz]

PS Good question and idea but I think we're the most introverted as a result of our functions, Ne doesn't really need people to extrovert, Fi has little use for people and Ti has zero use for people at all, for me, I just need them to bounce ideas off of, see reactions and so on.

Perhaps you are right, I like answers. I also like asking people questions that fit into the catagory in some way to perhaps better understand why or how.