Q for the Is

[saieditor]

At parties and social gatherings, I usually go for the one to one conversations. Extroverts having a talk-fest drain me. I recall attending a meeting of Community Visitors, (advocates for disabled in state accommodation) and the noise was deafening; I was the only introvert in sight. Think of being in a room where 300 loud conversations were taking place. All the Community Visitors were extroverts; it was their job to interact and that vigorously with the disabled and get their responses.

Where I am with big, big, crowds and have to intereract for long periods of time with a lot of people I begin to fade and have to duck out and be alone for five or ten minutes every two or three hours. If I can't do that, then I need to withdraw and conserve energy. By the end of the day I will have a headache, and be totally drained of energy internally and just plain tired. I will be talking goobledy-gook by then. Brain not functioning.

 

[01011010]

they don't get Fi/Ni

Perception/reaction to silence is one of the factors I take into consideration for possible success of my relationships, on any level. Are they comfortable being quiet in my presence. Since friends and lovers are people I choose to spend time with, we should be compatible in that area.

 

[Thursday]

Perception/reaction to silence is one of the factors I take into consideration for possible success of my relationships, on any level. Are they comfortable being quiet in my presence. Since friends and lovers are people I choose to spend time with, we should be compatible in that area.

I say that because me and my INTJ friend would hang out like that
Him on his computer, me on mine; and everyonce and awhile, we'd watch a movie, critique it and resolve that we don't like movies that much.

returning to blissful silence...

 

[Alpha Prime]

Thank you all, for your interesting responses! Time to crank it up some!

1. Nearly all of you have suggested that it is human interaction that drains you, like an ice cube in a hot oven. I wonder, if you had to deal with something interactive (void of human contact) or rich in external sensory data, would that too make you feel drained? Example of such environments: a computer simulation/game, spending time in a zoo, or forest/jungle rich in animal activity (Come on now! I know what you crazy bastards are thinking! You be good and don't go yanking them animals. I'm sure someone's watching! ).

2. Awrite, check this shit out: I propose that INXX-people are more easily drained than ISXX-people, because the N-function is trying to get the big picture (therefore taking in more information/interactive data). Yay or nay? And whay?

3. I have an introvert friend who claims that in order to maintain his "energy" for longer periods he is completely focused on his mission, whatever that is. He "cuts off" people (and everything else, that is irrelevant to his mission). Again, lemme pick your brains on this one!

 

[bronte]

Thank you all, for your interesting responses! Time to crank it up some!

1. Nearly all of you have suggested that it is human interaction that drains you, like an ice cube in a hot oven. I wonder, if you had to deal with something interactive (void of human contact) or rich in external sensory data, would that too make you feel drained? Example of such environments: a computer simulation/game, spending time in a zoo, or forest/jungle rich in animal activity (Come on now! I know what you crazy bastards are thinking! You be good and don't go yanking them animals. I'm sure someone's watching! ).

2. Awrite, check this shit out: I propose that INXX-people are more easily drained than ISXX-people, because the N-function is trying to get the big picture (therefore taking in more information/interactive data). Yay or nay? And whay?

3. I have an introvert friend who claims that in order to maintain his "energy" for longer periods he is completely focused on his mission, whatever that is. He "cuts off" people (and everything else, that is irrelevant to his mission). Again, lemme pick your brains on this one!

To 1 - no I dont think these things would drain me - being around animals and nature is energising - it's people

2. Yes I think 'n' is more tiring - constantly reading people and working things out re the big picture (with inf - I think its exhausting being around people alot because you are highly attuned to their emotional states and tend to soak it up like a sponge)

3. Yes - to get a project finished I do tend to cut myself off for a while - my job forces me to be sociable for several hours a day - I can do it but it wears me out - and if there is a difficult job to do I have to get away from the noise and interruptions to be able to think straight.

Alan Bennett (a self confessed introvert) once said that after a prolonged period of enforced sociability he felt strange - exposed - like he had done something wrong but couldnt quite work out what.

I suppose for me its also about the introvert need to think carefully before speaking - in situations which are busy, noisy and demanding - you have to speak up before youve thought something out as well as you'd like - I find that exhausting - and I sometimes say the silliest things!

 

[Jack Flak]

1. Nearly all of you have suggested that it is human interaction that drains you, like an ice cube in a hot oven. I wonder, if you had to deal with something interactive (void of human contact) or rich in external sensory data, would that too make you feel drained? Example of such environments: a computer simulation/game, spending time in a zoo, or forest/jungle rich in animal activity (Come on now! I know what you crazy bastards are thinking! You be good and don't go yanking them animals. I'm sure someone's watching! ).

No.

2. Awrite, check this shit out: I propose that INXX-people are more easily drained than ISXX-people, because the N-function is trying to get the big picture (therefore taking in more information/interactive data). Yay or nay? And whay?

Doubt it. I don't have to "try" to get the big picture, just as an S doesn't have to "try" to notice details.

3. I have an introvert friend who claims that in order to maintain his "energy" for longer periods he is completely focused on his mission, whatever that is. He "cuts off" people (and everything else, that is irrelevant to his mission). Again, lemme pick your brains on this one!

As I've said, interaction is a distraction for me, if my goal is anything but interaction.

 

[bronte]

This just got m thinking about a conversation I had a couple of days ago - in passing i told somebody (we were talking about individual communication styles) that I was an introvert.
He looked at me like I was potty and said ' really - I dont think so - you definetely dont seem introverted' I wondered if this was about m or the image pople have of introverts - wall flowers with no personality perhaps?

 

[Thursday]

This just got m thinking about a conversation I had a couple of days ago - in passing i told somebody (we were talking about individual communication styles) that I was an introvert.
He looked at me like I was potty and said ' really - I dont think so - you definetely dont seem introverted' I wondered if this was about m or the image pople have of introverts - wall flowers with no personality perhaps?

yep

 

[King sns]

This just got m thinking about a conversation I had a couple of days ago - in passing i told somebody (we were talking about individual communication styles) that I was an introvert.
He looked at me like I was potty and said ' really - I dont think so - you definetely dont seem introverted' I wondered if this was about m or the image pople have of introverts - wall flowers with no personality perhaps?

hmm... probably. Maybe he thought he was complimenting you by saying that you didn't seem like one.

 

[raz]

If I were in a zoo, I'd feel a little overwhelmed. My SJ would make me feel compelled to memorize every single animal's name and location.

When my store opened early Friday morning, we were all leaving the break room from our morning meeting, and I took a quick turn away from everyone else to take a shortcut to the bathroom. Then this girl was following me. She yelled out, "Why are you walking so fast?" I said to her, "Trying to get away from all the people!" There were like 25 people in that break room! It's confusing to me. All these people, all with different opinions, all thinking different things. It's exhausting trying to take note of each one.

 

[INTJMom]

Thank you all, for your interesting responses! Time to crank it up some!

1. Nearly all of you have suggested that it is human interaction that drains you, like an ice cube in a hot oven. I wonder, if you had to deal with something interactive (void of human contact) or rich in external sensory data, would that too make you feel drained? Example of such environments: a computer simulation/game, spending time in a zoo, or forest/jungle rich in animal activity (Come on now! I know what you crazy bastards are thinking! You be good and don't go yanking them animals. I'm sure someone's watching! ).

2. Awrite, check this shit out: I propose that INXX-people are more easily drained than ISXX-people, because the N-function is trying to get the big picture (therefore taking in more information/interactive data). Yay or nay? And whay?

3. I have an introvert friend who claims that in order to maintain his "energy" for longer periods he is completely focused on his mission, whatever that is. He "cuts off" people (and everything else, that is irrelevant to his mission). Again, lemme pick your brains on this one!

For me, anything that requires use of S is going to be challenging and/or draining.

On the surface, your proposal that IN types get more easily/quickly drained than IS types seems to have merit.

Is your friend a J?

 

[Haphazard]

1. That depends. Would I be stranded there, or could I leave anytime I want?

2. I propose that certain things drain ISXX types more and certain things drain INXX types more. However, the type of things that drain INXX types the least would be things that one would mistake for not being very draining at all unless you've tried to do them before.

3. I have no energy unless I have a mission. I live for the mission. There is nothing else.

 

[Athenian200]

1. Nearly all of you have suggested that it is human interaction that drains you, like an ice cube in a hot oven. I wonder, if you had to deal with something interactive (void of human contact) or rich in external sensory data, would that too make you feel drained? Example of such environments: a computer simulation/game, spending time in a zoo, or forest/jungle rich in animal activity (Come on now! I know what you crazy bastards are thinking! You be good and don't go yanking them animals. I'm sure someone's watching! ).

I would be drained by spending time in a zoo or a forest, but not a computer simulation/game. I'm also not drained by interaction over the Internet.

2. Awrite, check this shit out: I propose that INXX-people are more easily drained than ISXX-people, because the N-function is trying to get the big picture (therefore taking in more information/interactive data). Yay or nay? And whay?

I think this is so for the most part. ISxx types conserve more energy in the most typical situations. I can envision situations where this would be flipped, though.

3. I have an introvert friend who claims that in order to maintain his "energy" for longer periods he is completely focused on his mission, whatever that is. He "cuts off" people (and everything else, that is irrelevant to his mission). Again, lemme pick your brains on this one!

I have been known to do this myself. What really sucks, though, is when I complete the mission and find myself lonely because everyone gave up trying to contact me.

 

[disregard]

Obligation. Dealing with phonies. Loud, erratic people.

Drain drain drain.

 

[raz]

The second one is the same for S's and N's. The S will try to find everything that's going on, everything. The N will try to figure out a general idea of what's going on. If anything, I'd think an N would look at a zoo, say, "a bunch of animals that want to attack me" and walk around.

 

[Lateralus]

A lot of the complaints in this thread aren't only valid for introverts. Lots of people grow tired of this stuff.

Being an extrovert doesn't mean you like being around people or being loud. And being an introvert doesn't mean you prefer quiet and solitude.

 

[INTJMom]

A lot of the complaints in this thread aren't only valid for introverts. Lots of people grow tired of this stuff.

Being an extrovert doesn't mean you like being around people or being loud. And being an introvert doesn't mean you prefer quiet and solitude.

What DOES it mean?

 

[disregard]

Very little.

 

[raz]

A preference. I can be in a crowd of people or do something extremely physical, but it has a lot more pre-requisites than for an extravert. It has to have incredible significance.

 

[jay bee 83]

I tend to avoid big social situations. I don't mind if it's something with may be 3, 4 or 5 other people as thats manageable..... anything bigger say 25-30 + people at a big dinner etc I dislike it to tell the truth.

I can deal with meeting new people in the first instance at a social function.... example....

When I started my masters degree the university department organised a course social..... initially I was a bit anxious but I had met a few people at the first lecture so it wasn't a completely new experience at meeting people for the first time. Those that I hadn't met, I actually quite enjoyed meeting and briefly talking to them and introducing myself. I felt that as the evening went on I gained more confidence and found it easier to go up to people and say hi.

It depends how I'm feeling on a particular day, though, as to how successful I will be at interacting with people. I can't deal with general chit chat and most of the time can't think of trivial things to say. If I don't have things to say then whats the point of speaking?? I get the fact that to make a conversation flow etc, you have to respond to things that person has said and look for trigger points that can lead to something else ..... but its just an effort sometimes, particularly when the other person doesn't seem to be talking about anything you're interested in!

I tend to think before I speak and have recognised now that I've got a bit older, considering certain things to say in certain situations creates, in the main, a much better portrayal of yourself to the outer world..... which I think is one of the main challenges an introvert has to overcome - being able to convey whats going on in your head so people don't think you are some aloof, anti-social boring person who doesn't want to do most of the things that other people find fun.

Also when some people ask me inappropriate questions in a social situation, particularly in front of other people, I find it difficult to respond. Mainly because it requires a reactive response without the need for thinking .... most of the time I think, "Its none of your business..." but can never seem to say this and end up either saying nothing or attempting to be vague or dismissive.

Afterwards, when I've left, I often find myself really disliking the person for asking me the question and putting me in an awkward state... consequently sometimes I may think to myself that I have been the one that was wrong to react the way I did.

In essence, I pick and choose what social occasions I attend and I did make it plain to my friends at one point while at uni, when I say no, I mean it ... and any attempts to keep on at me annoys me to the point that it sends me even further down the route of not wanting to go.