[MBTI General] Problems with ISTJ snide remarks

[BlackCat]

I haven't seen only good come out of ISTJ but I still love two ISTJ and even though not only good comes out of me, they still care for me.

But my goodness, don't get around my sister when she's got low blood sugar or had a bad day, the brutal truth comes out! I just ignore it...well for the most part.

All you can do is ignore it when someone is having a bad day and wants to tell everyone about it.

I edited the post heart. I thought you might like it. There is no such thing as a person who does only good, I meant that I've only met good people who are of that type.

 

[Immaculate Cloud]

If they were to ask me if I'd ever blanked out whilst teaching (I lecture computing), I'd just laugh and say yeah all the time!

.

Ed, this is priceless!!! That's what I need - a few witty remarks and a laugh to shrug them off. Catch them off guard and see how they respond...

 

[kiddykat]

I understand where you're coming from.. I think for me, snidy remarks are just a form of DISRESPECT, intentional.

I would not take it personally. As for me, I see it as a form of self-hate, self-projection. I feel sorry for them.

I don't tolerate too well with people who get all smug & smirky. I like sarcasm. I like to joke around a lot. I dislike it when I feel that venomous sting from anyone who takes on a condescending, pretentious tone with me, especially when they try to do so ever so slightly? I'm more overt. If I do not like someone or something, I make it obvious.

I think you should refocus your energy on what makes you happy. Cut out those who disrespect you, because really life's too short. Enjoy it while you can, right?

 

[Immaculate Cloud]

I understand where you're coming from.. I think for me, snidy remarks are just a form of DISRESPECT, intentional.

I would not take it personally. As for me, I see it as a form of self-hate, self-projection. I feel sorry for them.

I don't tolerate too well with people who get all smug & smirky. I like sarcasm. I like to joke around a lot. I dislike it when I feel that venomous sting from anyone who takes on a condescending, pretentious tone with me, especially when they try to do so ever so slightly? I'm more overt. If I do not like someone or something, I make it obvious.

I think you should refocus your energy on what makes you happy. Cut out those who disrespect you, because really life's too short. Enjoy it while you can, right?

Cut out? Yea, that is why when I cannot give them the permanent INFJ doorslam due to circumstances like them being the mothers of close friends or relatives, I take a long break from them... Remove the sun of my august person from shining on their puny selves

Na, seriously, I wish that I could learn a few tricks - how to use humour - to defuse their covert attacks/snide remarks... THEY are masters or rather mistresses at being bitchy with a smile. I either play dumb or am left speechless in which case they've scored a hit. I wish that I could deflect their barbs in a more effective way...

Surely there has GOT to be some of these skills that can be picked up!!

 

[MrRandom]

Some years ago a couple of ISTJs caused a realization in me that basically all of their joke remarks are based on truth. It's just that whilst putting out their joke remarks, they are also being completely clueless that they are actually sharing their deeper thoughts; the things they wouldn't otherwise say. They don't realize that joking about it reveals their inner thoughts. I'm sorry I don't have any examples right now... I used to have... what a worthless post, huh...

ISTJs are also good at killing good mood and inspiration with few uncarefully selected words. Consider the following cheesy dialog as an example:

Person: "Look, I bought a new sofa "
ISTJ: "The fabric is torn under there."
Person: "Yeah... it was cheaper. Well, look at these new curtains."
ISTJ: "They don't match."
Person: "A-ha..... I have a new phone "
ISTJ: "Hmm... that model doesn't even have a camera."
Person: "Right. Whatevvvv!!! "

 

[Eagle]

Interesting... I have a friend that is INFJ. We get along well. The thing I can't stand about her is that she compares everything to her perception (and that's the only right perception). As far as how I am. I think that she has a problem with my perceptions of things (slightly more balanced to some extent). Besides all that we get along fine. my humor doesn't bug her and as far as the remarks go I try to be a nice guy. I don't make any harsh comments unless I really, deeply feel the person deserves it. Which doesn't happen very much. I typically get along with people well, and more so once they know me.

 

[Eagle]

Another thought... Maybe our remarks are snide because we don't realize they come across that way? We tend to be rather... strict with conveying facts and things bluntly. Tact is definitely something a few of us could work on. I've worked at it so my tact isn't terrible and it's getting better. I am now an a scale between extremely indirect and very blunt; only slightly less blunt.
I do understand peoples emotions though and try to take them into account. I haven't ever had to much of a problem for it. Though I do see how it might exist.

DISCLAIMER: This message implies to "some" meaning any where's from 1% to 100% of us. (I know I need a life.) (apparently the emoticon agrees with me...)

 

[Habba]

blah blah blah

I agree with you.

I've noticed myself that I do make snide remarks just about everything. It's not that I'd be evil, jealous, angry or mischievous. I just do it just because I think it's funny. And with some tactfulness, it really is. And you know how sensitive guys we are.

 

[kiddykat]

Immaculate Cloud, I think despite type, there is a level mutuality/respect we ALL deserve. I think when people act that way, they self-project; it shows the type of person they inherently are to me.

I like it when people can be real/upfront. Joking is one thing. Flat-out disrespect is another. I know when to set boundaries, when to refocus my energy on people/things that uplift me. Hang in there.

 

[alicia91]

Maybe the snide remarks issue is an Introverted Thinker thing? The two people who are masters of it in my life are both INTPs.

 

[kiddykat]

I think it boils down to intentions?

 

[Immaculate Cloud]

Maybe the snide remarks issue is an Introverted Thinker thing? The two people who are masters of it in my life are both INTPs.

Can you explain?

 

[Immaculate Cloud]

Some years ago a couple of ISTJs caused a realization in me that basically all of their joke remarks are based on truth. It's just that whilst putting out their joke remarks, they are also being completely clueless that they are actually sharing their deeper thoughts; the things they wouldn't otherwise say. They don't realize that joking about it reveals their inner thoughts. I'm sorry I don't have any examples right now... I used to have... what a worthless post, huh...

Yea, the first time along I do a double take and instantly analyze it,, as in, where did that come from? The second or third time, I start thinking of what it is that I am projecting to this particular type/person/generation. The third or fourth, I come to your conclusion about them revealing their inner thoughts but am not too sure that they are that clueless...

ISTJs are also good at killing good mood and inspiration with few uncarefully selected words. Consider the following cheesy dialog as an example:

Person: "Look, I bought a new sofa "
ISTJ: "The fabric is torn under there."
Person: "Yeah... it was cheaper. Well, look at these new curtains."
ISTJ: "They don't match."
Person: "A-ha..... I have a new phone "
ISTJ: "Hmm... that model doesn't even have a camera."
Person: "Right. Whatevvvv!!! "

Tell me about it! Sounds all too familiar. Here you are all enthusiastic about something and they rain on your parade.

 

[BlackCat]

Congratulations, if you go any further with this then you will have the unhealthy ISTJ stereotype drilled into your head. I suggest talking to a few that are on here (most are healthy from who I've spoken to) or going on vent. There are three male ISTJs that are on vent normally.

I just don't see what there is to hate about a healthy one. I can point out things I hate about any unhealthy example of any type.

 

[raz]

Some years ago a couple of ISTJs caused a realization in me that basically all of their joke remarks are based on truth. It's just that whilst putting out their joke remarks, they are also being completely clueless that they are actually sharing their deeper thoughts; the things they wouldn't otherwise say. They don't realize that joking about it reveals their inner thoughts. I'm sorry I don't have any examples right now... I used to have... what a worthless post, huh...

ISTJs are also good at killing good mood and inspiration with few uncarefully selected words. Consider the following cheesy dialog as an example:

Person: "Look, I bought a new sofa "
ISTJ: "The fabric is torn under there."
Person: "Yeah... it was cheaper. Well, look at these new curtains."
ISTJ: "They don't match."
Person: "A-ha..... I have a new phone "
ISTJ: "Hmm... that model doesn't even have a camera."
Person: "Right. Whatevvvv!!! "

Ehh. Maybe I am like that but I don't notice. I more of just point out people's lack of logic. Like, yesterday, I was telling my mother that I didn't know how to do something and I wanted her to show me. I told her that there are actually things that I don't know how to do that my family thinks I do. The conversation went on and she apologized for something that I was just complaining about in general, not specifically her. I outright said, "Why are you apologizing? What does it accomplish to apologize? Let's just go outside and do what we're supposed to." She got a little flustered by that, but that's really how I view things like that. I want to get something done, I don't want to waste time with petty useless pleasantries.

 

[garbage]

My boss/center director/academic advisor is a hardcore ISTJ. He's not exactly the sarcastic, demeaning type, but I don't know if he knows how he comes across sometimes.

Granted, he works with mostly very technical people and so doesn't have a real need to filter himself most of the time.. and I don't personally get offended by him..

My buddy is an ENFP and I have seen other ENFP under ISTJ mothers or fathers get all miserable. Any pattern here...

Well.. yeah.. they're practically opposite personality types; of course the ENFP is going to be uncomfortable with the ISTJ mindset.. just as ESFJ is nearly universally hated here, on an INTP-dominated forum..

 

[raz]

My boss/center director/academic advisor is a hardcore ISTJ. He's not exactly the sarcastic, demeaning type, but I don't know if he knows how he comes across sometimes.

Granted, he works with mostly very technical people and so doesn't have a real need to filter himself most of the time.. and I don't personally get offended by him..



Well.. yeah.. they're practically opposite personality types; of course the ENFP is going to be uncomfortable with the ISTJ mindset.. just as ESFJ is nearly universally hated here, on an INTP-dominated forum..

Funny how ISTJs have the demeaning remarks. Are ESTJs just too busy telling people what to do that they don't have the time to criticize them like an ISTJ does?

 

[ColonelGadaafi]

I find that they can make those snide remarks that pass for jokes but which are thinly veiled criticisms. Of all the other MBTI types, aside from the obnoxiously loud ESFP's I find this type, the ISTJ's the most irritating and I tend to stay away from them whenever possible. I can take them in small doses and usually I then play it cool and try not to show my innermost self.

That was uncalled for!, now you've made me sad, im going to go lock myself in a wardrobe and drown myself in tears, WHY DOES EVERYBODY HATE US.

this forum reeks of evil.

 

[d@v3]

I'm just seeing this thread now, why didn't anyone tell me about it! Oh well, here is my take on it:

BlackCat is right [] , I have met evil ISTJ's and they piss me off. I have met cool ISTJ's and they pretty easy to get along with.

There is a good and bad of every type. Also, remember that your "type" doesn't mean that you are 100% befitting to the type description. So their percetages could be wacked out and thus being the answer for their behavior.

As for the negative statements/remarks, yeahhh... I have gotten myself into trouble from time to time over those, like in a previous poster's example:

INFJ: "I got a new couch!"
ISTJ:" Sweet, but it looks like a mouse was living in it! Look at the hole!"
INFJ:
ISTJ:

This is a classic foot-in-mouth moment. I clearly didn't think before I spoke in this situation. It's NOT that I was TRYING to rain on the INFJ's nice new piece of furniture, I was merley stating an observation and maybe even WARNING him/her that there is a hole and he/she may have been ripped off.

I generally redeem myself though after saying such things by explaining myself and my intentions. If the person's feelings are terribly hurt, I will do just about ANYTHING to make it up to them. This of course, depends on how important of a priority said person is in my life. But most of the time, either way I feel pretty guilty when I hurt people's feelings.

 

[garbage]

I think at its core, it's just a function of the obligatory T/F difference; differences in S/N and other axes can just drive it home.

My ENTP brother-in-law responded to my EnFJ sister announcing a surprise romantic dinner by stating that he had another obligation, and she was hurt by that. When he told me the story, it just seemed obvious that he should have at least started out with "Thanks, but..."