[ENTJ] Problem w/ ENTJ

[CindySue]

Hello gang. I want to know more about the Entj. I feel like one is interested in me but he seems very distracted as of late. Can men have one track minds and forget about women in general and just focus on their career to an extreme?

 

[juggernaut]

Yes. Female ENTJs do it too.

 

[CindySue]

So do I just wait for him to come around? For me I feel it shows a lack of interest.

 

[BlackCat]

INTJs do this too.

As for interest... Just keep talking to him. I'd tell him that you need reassurance perhaps, reassurance that there is still interest.

Other ENTJs will be a much greater help for this, but in my experience just continue talking. Make it seem like things were the way that they used to be before he got into this work loop. If he resists start probing him as to why, and get to the bottom of the problem.

 

[CindySue]

Thanks for the advice. Where are all the Entj's anyway? Are they too busy even for this forum??

 

[Bougal]

Yeah, there is nothing to really worry about. Keep talking to him so that you keep his attention and don't act like there is anything is wrong. If you were to say anything, I know that some ENTJs might see it as premature emotional dependency, which they could see as emotional instability (note all the somes, mights and maybes.) Just be normal and it will go back to normal. An awful game, I know.

 

[CindySue]

Rationals are odd to me. I equate time with love. How do you know when an Entj is not interested then? I interpret disappearing as lack of interest.

Thanks again for the help!

 

[BlackCat]

I interpret disappearing as lack of interest.

It's not. But I can't tell you what signifies a lack of interest. My speculation is that due to the ENTJ's up front nature, they would be up front about being disinterested or about things not working.

 

[norepinephrine]

Rationals are odd to me. I equate time with love. How do you know when an Entj is not interested then? I interpret disappearing as lack of interest.

Thanks again for the help!

I think it might be helpful to have a little more information. Why do you feel he's interested in you? Are you/were you dating, spending time together?

Did he really disappear or is he just spending less time with you? How long has it been since he became unattentive?

 

[Salt n' pepper]

due to the ENTJ's up front nature, they would be up front about being disinterested or about things not working.

They would be equally up front about being interested in you. I would ask him, straight out, "do you wanna go out on a date with me?"

 

[Kangirl]

Related to what someone else said, yeah, I need more info to be able to offer anything of possible use here...

 

[nozflubber]

Related to what someone else said, yeah, I need more info to be able to offer anything of possible use here...

spoken like a true closet P!!

 

[BlackCat]

They would be equally up front about being interested in you. I would ask him, straight out, "do you wanna go out on a date with me?"

One of the reasons I love you guys... I don't have to be afraid of offending you or anything. That's a huge thing to me. I don't have to pad down my words to get through to you.

EDIT: Also forgot to mention I don't have to be afraid of much bulls@#t on you guy's side.

 

[Frank]

Hello gang. I want to know more about the Entj. I feel like one is interested in me but he seems very distracted as of late. Can men have one track minds and forget about women in general and just focus on their career to an extreme?

Yes absolutely we can do this. We have a tendency to view our relationships as a done deal once we are committed. We forget that sometimes we have to nourish the relationship etc... Ideally we would spend the majority of our time on career, business or projects. Just knowing how we feel about the person is often enough for us to consider the relationship strong and therefore not high on our list of priorities of things that need attention. It really takes a conscious effort on our part to be aware that others may need more "together" time than we do.

 

[Kangirl]

It doesn't sound like she's IN a relationship with this guy, though...?

If I were this guy, and I was interested in her, I wouldn't deal with it/show it by avoiding her. That's just me.

*punches Noz*

 

[Galusha]

I'd say try to read the body language when you run into him. If he cares about you, just not in that way, he might not be comfy with expressing outright rejection. He could be confused... or trying to get a no-strings-attatched deal out of the whole thing, if he's stressed.

 

[CindySue]

Of course more info is helpful,sorry.

We just started dating, but then his job got really stressful. He was promoted and then he more or less disappeared. I get limited to no phone calls and no time together.

What Frank said makes the most sense about the situation. I am just unsure of it because the behavior seems strange to me.

Thanks guys!!!!

 

[Wiley45]

One of the reasons I love you guys... I don't have to be afraid of offending you or anything. That's a huge thing to me. I don't have to pad down my words to get through to you.

EDIT: Also forgot to mention I don't have to be afraid of much bulls@#t on you guy's side.

Agreed!

 

[Salt n' pepper]

I feel like one is interested in me but he seems very distracted as of late. Can men have one track minds and forget about women in general and just focus on their career to an extreme?

(f) ENTJs do this as well. When I wrote my master's thesis, my bf (INTP) of nine months at that time, was practically ready to leave me. Aside from the distractedness and being stressed out of my mind, and constantly thinking about my thesis, apparently, I was a real bitch too. However, this was NOT brought to my attention until he actually spelled it out for me - 12 weeks later.

So hang in there, if you really like him. To an ENTJ, our work is important to us and sometimes we get lost in it, without noticing or even thinking there is something wrong with that. We just kind of expect others to understand. Especially our significant others.

This should however, not be interpreted as lack of interest in you. If you're still unsure, ask him! He'll give you a straight answer to your question (given that it is a straight enought question) If he likes you, the "love" is still there, just that the time and brain capacity isn't...

 

[Salt n' pepper]

Yes absolutely we can do this. We have a tendency to view our relationships as a done deal once we are committed. We forget that sometimes we have to nourish the relationship etc... Ideally we would spend the majority of our time on career, business or projects. Just knowing how we feel about the person is often enough for us to consider the relationship strong and therefore not high on our list of priorities of things that need attention. It really takes a conscious effort on our part to be aware that others may need more "together" time than we do.

So very true.