For several years in my mid-20's I was in a bit of a statis state, with deeply rooted dissatisfaction, anxiety, existential questions, some angst, some bitterness, and much of all of it centered around the fact that I wasn't happy with my job at the time, didn't know what I'd rather be doing / couldn't figure out a longterm 'path' that I'd be happy with, for sure, for the rest of my life, and etc etc. I think most of the problems were due to my thinking I needed to figure out a final path, that I'd hit some 'nirvana' state where I'd just definitively know what I wanted to do with my life. It was an achilles heel growing up, and also what I was so bothered about in my 20's... just that it *appeared* all of my peers around me were effortlessly merging into a career, or always knew 'what they wanted to be' when they grew up, or didn't struggle with what I couldn't pin down.
Once I decided by my late 20's/around age 30 that if I kept on that track, that I'd stay on it permanently, without doing anything, all because I couldn't figure out the master plan, I realized I may as well, at the very least, move to a different location to keep on keeping on with the same thoughts. At least change one element. And, I did. I uprooted my life, hadn't cemented specifically where I would move to upon quitting my job, traveled, then several months later moved to a different state. I still faced some of the same job/life questions, but I was in new surroundings, and had begun the process of letting go of a need to figure it all out and remain in a state of predictability and 'safety', but also of unhappiness and stagnation.
Anyhow, simultaneously I realized that for me it's quite possible I'll never have the 'ultimate career', so I decided to just give up on that notion, because I no longer believe it applies to me (or, my trying to think my way into it doesn't do me any good), so I am now at peace with just finding a job that I find palatable/ok until it ceases to be palatable, then I'll leave and figure out a new job to try out /go to a new company.
[I'm currently a business analyst in a strategic development unit / project management part of a company]
I also love traveling, seeing new places/experiencing new things, and if I could ever kick myself into action to start trying to more proactively/actively pursue earning some income via photography or art, I will start doing that. I am also in a current period of assessing what I want to do in my free time to stimulate me more, and to broaden my horizons; I find in my life that I periodically need to jumpstart myself out of complacency, and hone in on new goals/'purposes' that I want to strive towards. I don't currently have that direction so would like to figure out what my 'next step' will be, whether free time or something broader than that.
I think the one element where I have often felt I'm losing time and time is quickening and I'm aging and I off and on get hopeless or mildly sad/depressed/lonely is my singleness. It certainly wasn't what I had ever envisioned, growing up, that my life would be like, as I've always wanted a partner, but as time goes on I think it's less likely that that will happen for me. And especially re. kids/a family, time is of the essence as a woman and frankly it's just not likely now. I was never strongly attached to the family vision when younger...and that lack of attachment of course would have played into how I approached relationships in my 20's and who I was drawn to, but in recent years I'm thinking a little more about it. Not actively, more just... I'm aware that in many ways most of my peers are 'passing me by' in terms of life path/kids/etc. Sometimes I don't know how I feel about that; other times, I marvel at the life I live and the freedoms/experiences I've had as a result.
Edit: I think for myself, it's very easy to get into an analysis loop where I think I can think my way into my 'next step'. Obv. I'm still guilty of that.
I think reflection is great, and as introverts I think we get a lot out of it and can often figure things out, but the lull of introversion is a trap as well. For me, sometimes the simple act of just DOING something - anything - can get me out of a rut. Just need to let go of the notion that whatever you choose to do has to be some epic final decision... maybe it doesn't. It may lead to something else or spur you in the right direction.
