Phone anxieties, dislikes calling and avoids doing so.

[Synapse]

Does anyone else have phone anxieties.
What strategies are there to cope with this.

Job related.

Okay so I've started a new job. Its actually a charity based retail store where I get to sort and sell clothes, manchester, furniture, bric a brac and such. To my dismay its casual and I have to make up the hours by ringing around various stores to get days to work.

Its not fixed like my previous employment where I was selling bbq's, heaters and hot water systems and fire places. Boss was only too happy to see me go because I lacked the initiative to sell and be what he hoped for, and so did I, charismatic, flirtatious and charming and sell. In another life yes definitely its there, when my health gets back, you know the gift of the gab and such. When I was a toddler I had this ability, I swear I could sell you the shirt off your back, how times change. The entire staff was telling me by the end of it that retail just isn't my cup of tea, go find working as a store person somewhere instead. If only I had the luxury of time, now that I am in a flat. I thought this new job would be great but here's the rub.

The first week of induction was fine and very well, I got to know friends, albeit I disliked that the social group happened to be around a table outside that was designated for the smokers area, me being the one of the few who didn't smoke, made things difficult.

The second week was fine too sort of. I got to a local store, the staff were great. And a senior trips on the floor and cuts his nose, so bad it doesn't stop bleeding for half an hour. At least I'm serving the customers and earning money for the store, making the place look tidy and admin side too. I felt relaxed here.

Then the next day I had to go to a different store that was almost an hours drive away, not happy. This store was apparently the Rolls Royce of stores, militant, precise, orderly, organized and won awards for it. I disliked this store muchly. For goodness sakes locking the till after every transaction is a bit much. Colour coding everything exactly to the letter is way out there. OMG they even had all the coat hangers in order, from regular, clip ons, to children etc and rubber bands round the price tags. It was too much, I was half thinking OMG, to have even a piece of fluff out of place might be a travesty.

Anyway everything went well until the last count where we were out by $20, and the finger was pointed at me as being the newb that I made the mistake. But here's the thing, nothing like it has happened before, which sucks on the second day after the induction.

Then I go back to the local store, with such relief. I try to do extra good works. I got a call and forgot to say the store spiel and greeting and whoever it was told the manager who told me and ever since she started picking up the phone. I told the manager your store is fun, its got a warm vibe and energy and you'll do good, you actually do as good as the other store that is bigger. And the takings were indeed very good, even the manager was surprised.

Well that was last week. This week...I got a call from two stores wanting me to work after Anzac day holiday, I had to turn down one.

There are aprox 45 stores across Perth. I can easily get to about 15 stores. I'm expecting calls like the last and nothing. During induction they said go to the stores and introduce yourself so they see me. I got into a bit of funk at the moment and didn't do it. I have been wanting to call those stores to ask if there is anything available but haven't, social anxiety I guess. I shouldn't have to be doing this all the time anyway.

At the end of the day I've started applying for other jobs. At this rate I'll start using my credit in a month, and selling my car in another month to cover my flat if I don't earn, its stressing me out.

And at a time when I have my space and freedom again, to have this kind of instability bites, but then I should be used to it, life time of it really.

I understand where my phone anxieties come from really, family business, father was territorial and only person who used the phone and I got high anxiety after, afraid to call places, while using my mobile is too expensive. I need to stop being afraid of the phone now, its ridiculous.

Venting and wanting to know how to get over phone anxieties.

 

[cafe]

I get almost sick to my stomach at the thought of making most phone calls. I've really hated that part of jobs before and tended to put it off. On a personal level, I rarely call anyone outside of my household. I don't mind so much when people call me, I just don't like calling people.

 

[Asterion]

I don't like that noone can hear the person you're talking to. I wonder if people would find it easier if calls were always on loudspeaker??

 

[cafe]

For me, I really hate the idea of basically bursting in on someone without a chance to observe whether or not it's a good time for them. At least that's part of it.

 

[MonkeyGrass]

I hated doing this at a past job, too. I had to kind of compartmentalize myself for part of the day, and pretend to be someone else. Use your imagination to act/role play, and don't be yourself while you're calling. It helps.

 

[ayoitsStepho]

I was a receptionist for 5 months, and answering phones was pretty much all I did. I have huge anxiety about talking to people over the phone, so the job was torture to me. I'd panic and have to turn the phone over to one of the secretaries (who always had my back) at those times. I hated it, but I needed the job so I just stuck with it until it was time for me to move.

Ugh, but really, I don't like talking on the phone period. Lets talk in person or through the computer or something, but please no phone calls. I have no idea why I have this issue, but it's a pain in the butt.

 

[Rainne]

I find phone calls particularly easy. I had to answer incoming calls from customers at some office for 4 months. Even when they're really angry, it's easy to collect your cool and speak through your mind reasonably and objectively as you don't have to deal with their body language.

 

[FDG]

Yeah I also have this problem, I don't know why. I'm totally fine with talking to anybody in person, but I tend to freeze on the phone, I think it's because I can't read their body language.

 

[Mole]

Phone Freaks

I love the telephone.

I loved it so much I became a phone freak.

And I used the blue box to link up with phone freaks all over the world.

And we even produces our own magazine called, "Telephone Art".

And I vividly remember one conference call I made from the Medical School at the University of New South Wales where we linked up twenty-two phone freaks from all over the world - and it worked.

And of course we had our philosopher, Marshall McLuhan, who put our telephone art into a philosophical context.

But today phone freakery has morphed into the internet and here I am speaking to all of you - and Marshall McLuhan has become the patron saint of the internet.

 

[Stanton Moore]

Is your phone axiety related to insecurity? Do you feel you lack knowledge for the job in some way, so feel you can't adequately answer questions?

I once worked at Sam Ash (big music instrument store in NYC). I wanted to work in the drum shop, but got a job selling keyboards, which I knew little about, and felt no connection to...plus I hated the sales 'schtick'. I flew by the seat of my pants all the time, and it was unnerving to say the least... I worked there long enough to get the employee discount, bought a few things, then quit. I was glad it was over.

 

[Mole]

Yeah I also have this problem, I don't know why. I'm totally fine with talking to anybody in person, but I tend to freeze on the phone, I think it's because I can't read their body language.

The telephone has been used successfully to treat neurosis in children.

For the telephone encourages spontaneity. And without spontaneous conversation, the telephone doesn't work.

And we are neurotic, not because we can't read body language on the phone, but because we lack spontaneity.

Face to face, body language provides context, but on the phone, tone of voice and the rhythm language itself, provides the context.

 

[Southern Kross]

Ugh, I hate the phone.

In my house, I go to great lengths to get out of answering it; sometimes I even run out of the room. I don't mind if its someone close to me calling (yay for caller ID) but beyond that it feels like a huge imposition - like a stranger bursting through my front door uninvited. I only want to talk to who I want to, when I want to talk to them. But then this isn't limited to the phone. I hate it most forms of communication when they are forced on me. The phone just seems to be the most invasive.

I agree with what someone said about making the call into an act. Lately I've been making calls to inquire for work and going to interviews, and I have literally tried to channel an ENFJ which seems to help. It can relieve a great deal of pressure if you're not being you.

3 other tips that worked for me:
- Try to smile as you speak. It pleasantly changes the tone of your voice and people unconsciously respond well to it.
- Write down a basic outline of what you want to say and have it in front of you as you are speaking. It can remove some anxiety when you know what you want to get across. Maybe even write down your opening statements/introductions word for word so you can appear very smooth and confident. You have to make it natural though - don't let it sound like you're reciting something.
- Stand as you speak; even pace around a bit if you want. A guy in marketing told me about this and he spends most of the day on the phone. Standing frees you up a bit, making you feel less constricted and releases the tension, which can reduce the anxiety. Also it makes it easier to connect to your thoughts and improves your ability to respond to things that arise in the conversation.

 

[gromit]

With people I have never met, I'd prefer to talk in person than on the phone. I like having the additional feedback of their mannerisms, body language, eye contact, etc. It's disconcerting. But if it's someone I have met before, it's not so bad to me.

Sometimes when I have to make a phone call at work I will write down the important points to say just to make sure I mention everything.

 

[Aleksei]

I have zero phone anxiety, and the majority of my work history consists of call center jobs. Can't help you, sorry.

 

[Mole]

Ugh, I hate the phone.

The internet is simply your computer connected to the telephone.

You love the internet otherwise you would not be here, so it seems odd you hate the telephone.

 

[CzeCze]

Aw, I sympathize with you. My career was (no I'm not retired, just switching careers) in sales and marketing and good phone skills are essential.

The good news? This anxiety is momentary and is definitely conquerable. You have to prime yourself out of this anxiety the way you do with a lot of anxieties - through merciless repetition, role play, and desensitizing yourself.

I would recommend placing mock phone calls and recording yourself. Play it back and see how you sound. Nervous? High pitched? Tentative? Your voice presentation is vitally important. Simple steps are to slow down your breathing before hand and have cards in front of you outlining your points or even whole sentences.

I have a tendency to speak more quickly and high pitched (I'm a girl) when I get nervous so I have to consciously slow it down and deepen it when I'm speaking publicly, with clients (on the phone or off) etc.

You're anxious because you think it's gonna be a horrible experience and you're gonna suck. NOT true!

You can be a total ace at this and be impressive. All it takes is practice.

I really encourage you to make as many fake calls as possible to prepare and get comfortable with the usual questions/objections you may hear on the phone.

 

[Mole]

Pleasure

Most teenagers love talking on the phone for hours at a time. And most women love talking on the phone. You only have to walk around to see teenagers and women in particular talking on their mobile phones all day.

It seems that when we have to use the phone or the computer for business the pleasure seems to go out of it.

So it seems the phone and the computer are best used for social and creative reasons, for that is where the pleasure lies.

In fact when I worked in the Department of Immigration I had free access to international calls. And I found myself forming friendships in Australian Embassies all over the world. Of course it was expected that I would limit my call to official business, but the sheer pleasure of warm muzzle to warm ear, whispering across the world, tempted me to the pleasures of conversation, just as Typology Central tempts me to pleasure every day.

 

[Southern Kross]

The internet is simply your computer connected to the telephone.

You love the internet otherwise you would not be here, so it seems odd you hate the telephone.

I don't abide by that sort of logic.

 

[Southern Kross]

I have zero phone anxiety, and the majority of my work history consists of call center jobs. Can't help you, sorry.

I hate you.


*secretly jealous*

 

[Mole]

I don't abide by that sort of logic.

Logic is misplaced on the telephone.

The telephone is based on the pleasure of spontaneous conversation.

So just give me a ring for free on Skype and let us replace logic with pleasure.

Logic, after all, is visual while the telephone is aural, and bestows the pleasure of conversation.