[Fe] Overactive Fe.

[ReflecTcelfeR]

I decided to put this in here as NF's (J's in particular) lead with this function and so it is something they have honed. I was wondering how you reigned and focused this function?

 

[mochajava]

Reigned and focused - I think the idea is not to "reign" it, but just to stand back and watch it. This healthy "standing back" is one of the biggest things that MBTI has helped me with -- to realize Fe is a part of me, it's not a flaw, it's just a trait that's there for whatever reason personalities develop the way they do. I do have some past experiences that necessitated Fe for survival, so perhaps it's particularly acute. But I just need to watch it and anticipate that it will be BIG. Then I can say, 'okay, this is Fe. I can talk to someone and get a reality check and keep listening to the Fe.' but I don't have to be reigned by it, nor do I have to reign it in. It's like we have mutually friends - does that make sense?

Example: I'm going to TA in a relatively challenging (potentially hostile) situation next year. On one hand this appeals to my natural mentoring borne of INFJ, on the other hand, if things are going badly that Fe might not serve me and taking things personally might ensue. I've enlisted people to help me with that already. Does that make any sense?

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

Treat it like it's a seperate entity? A guiding hand? I suppose what I mean more specifically is the fact that it seems I pay too much attention to what I do and what I say in order not to offend someone (in order to be liked), though last night I offended someone because I didn't, but it just seems that it's (my need to please) a muzzle around my mouth that hinders all speech whatsoever. I suppose it's the enneagram 9 in me, but it seems that my Fe is on overdrive trying to please everyone, but my two main functions don't work correctly if Fe is blocking everything that I create. I suppose building a value system would help with my issue, wouldn't it? Even a minor value system would give me ground to decide what I can and can't say, but creating one that once again hinders all my ideas seems difficult. I don't really know how reconcile with my conscience. I have two influential, or rather elder Fe's in my life. An Isfj and an esfj... they don't use their functions in a very healthy fashion. I have too much of a conscience. This could also be attributed to a slight depression I'm in.

 

[KLessard]

What do you mean by reigning and focusing? Like it's a negative force that has to be controlled?

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

What do you mean by reigning and focusing? Like it's a negative force that has to be controlled?

It is by no means a negative force, until it needs to be contained, but that applies in general to every function. I do wish to control it though.

 

[Glycerine]

I decided to put this in here as NF's (J's in particular) lead with this function and so it is something they have honed. I was wondering how you reigned and focused this function?

Interesting. Reflect, I use what I perceive to be Ti to reign in and focus Fe. If you want to speak outside of MBTI, I do a lot of analysis and rational thinking to put my initial reactions and judgments into productive use.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

Interesting. Reflect, I use what I perceive to be Ti to reign in and focus Fe. If you want to speak outside of MBTI, I do a lot of analysis and rational thinking to put my initial reactions and judgments into productive use.

Hmmmm, do you find yourself over-analyzing your feelings a lot?

 

[Glycerine]

Hmmmm, do you find yourself over-analyzing your feelings a lot?

yes... in many ways its a positive but in other ways not so great. To be completely honest if I let myself react freely without thinking about it a little, I would get offended at every little thing that didn't fit in line with how I initially view things and take any little critique as a personal attack. However, it can be a good thing to just react to feelings sometimes because many times feelings can be indicative of being slighted/cheated/being in danger, etc.

If you really need to say something, just say it and don't worry about the other person. Some things need to be said even if it might be offensive to someone. Or if you hone in on Fe, you can learn to say pretty much anything diplomatically (saying the whole truth but cater to the person's sensitivities.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

To be completely honest if I let myself react freely without thinking about it a little, I would get offended at every little thing that didn't fit in line with how I initially view things and take any little critique as a personal attack.

This! I find this extremely familiar. This would mean that even though I think a lot I'm not thinking correctly. Perhaps the problem isn't my Fe, but my Ti! Thank you so much!

 

[Thalassa]

To be completely honest if I let myself react freely without thinking about it a little, I would get offended at every little thing that didn't fit in line with how I initially view things and take any little critique as a personal attack. However, it can be a good thing to just react to feelings sometimes because many times feelings can be indicative of being slighted/cheated/being in danger, etc.

So is this something that Fe and Fi actually have in common?

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

I'd say it would be. Though Fe requires Ti to become Fi... which means that Fe would require Fi and Te to become Fe. Perhaps?

 

[Glycerine]

I'd say it would be. Though Fe requires Ti to become Fi... which means that Fe would require Fi and Te to become Fe. Perhaps?

You might be onto something. However some would say that it is just "synthesized Fi or Fe".

So is this something that Fe and Fi actually have in common?

If it is, let's have a great big partay!

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

You might be onto something. However some would say that it is just "synthesized Fi or Fe".

If it is, let's have a great big partay!

It wouldn't be synthesized because of the fact that we all have it, it would be the fact that it just requires more work to use it, which I think makes logical sense. I understand what you mean though, luckily this argument is easily refuted.

 

[Glycerine]

It wouldn't be synthesized because of the fact that we all have it, it would be the fact that it just requires more work to use it, which I think makes logical sense. I understand what you mean though, luckily this argument is easily refuted.

haha agreed! Just sayin'.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

 

[sulfit]

My Fe hit me very hard at age of 10-11 and until around 21-22 I was really oversensitive to everything around me. Then suddenly my Ti started developing. This was prompted by several factors, one being a relationship with a person who had well-developed Ti so I got a chance to flex my own Ti against his. Another factor being (don't laugh now, but I really think this had an effect) playing competitive online games where I found myself deriving joy from winning over other players, most of whom were NTs. Ti tells me that in some instances it makes no logical sense to be overly sensitive and absorb every little projection of negative feelings towards me like a sponge. Ni nods approvingly and supports Ti as little offenses to Fe obviously do not factor into the bigger picture of things, and prevent me from moving on, thus should be dismissed.

However I hate how rationally selfish Ti can sometimes be. When I am not directly interacting with real people, the Ni-Ti association can take over my mind and lead me thinking down a very cold-hearted calculating path. It also turns my mind into like a knowledge-vampire that 'uses' other people for sake of learning something out of them and loses interest once everything has been learned.

So yeah, Ti is not a pretty thing either in excess, but operating with only Ni-Fe socially was extremely emotionally taxing on me. Development of Ti was like a breath of fresh air in comparison to the mess I felt before.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

So it is the development of auxillary function in both cases that help keep the relief function cool.... I have some work to do on my Ti. Thank you for this confirmation sulfit.

 

[Froody Blue Gem]

I think my fe is relatively active in that I'm always trying to figure out what other people are about when I'm around them. I take into consideration if what I say will hurt other people or not and if it does, I pick apart what I said to see what aspect of it was hurtful.

There are times when it controls me when I'm close enough to a person, but I'm certainly more in the world of ni than fe. In having a generalized anxiety disorder and another diagnoses, my fe rears it's head. There are times when I'm kind of apathetic and stop caring so it's more or less on-and-off and messed up but definitely fe over fi. It is sometimes due to the person themselves the reason that is, or that I do care but I'm more focussed on other things.