Nonverbal communication: how significant is it?

[Z Buck McFate]

7/10.

I suck at this. Too many MAYBE choices. Like the first one. My first thought is oh yeah thats a warm gesture... but also probably the warm gesture of someone who is confident enough to be the dominant one. I mean.

This quiz is under protest imo.

Too many possible interpretations.

The quiz should be titled, "Are you fluent in confident, authority/leadership commanding body language?" It's a pretty small subset of the whole spectrum.

 

[Tilt]

10/10, but honestly I find these sorts of questions too reductionist. For several of them I knew what the answer should be, but disagreed with it to some extent because it's too simplified. For example, if someone pulls a double handshake (and I do not have an established rapport with them) I will not trust the much and keep a distant and critical eye. It's frequently not genuniely used. There is so much more nuance.

I didn't get the "staring" question because I subtly look around the room. And "putting the palm face down" because I have also seen very engaging, confident leaders being very expressive through hand movements which is different from jittery hands.

 

[Frosty]

The quiz should be titled, "Are you fluent in confident, authority/leadership commanding body language?" It's a pretty small subset of the whole spectrum.

And ‘if you are a high Ne user with little self confidence who creates 1000 different possible interpretations for anything and everything... good luck’

And then a muhahah at the end of it.

Anyways. I dont like these quizzes. This one is better than the facial expressions one. Because those are all fake its all distorted AND ambiguous.

Anyways. Ill stop whining and let the serious discussion continue!

I didn't get the "staring" question because I subtly look around the room. And "putting the palm face down" because I have also seen very engaging, confident leaders being very expressive through hand movements which is different from jittery hands.

Yeah i got the palm one wrong too. Because I think one of the other options was like ‘wide body gestures’ or something which... I mean... also seems dominant?

Anyways. Like i said. Under protest. Because Im amazing at everything soooo

 

[rav3n]

The quiz should be titled, "Are you fluent in confident, authority/leadership commanding body language?" It's a pretty small subset of the whole spectrum.

If you can't read the obvious stuff evidenced in the quiz, how do people expect to read the more subtle body language?

 

[Tilt]

Yeah i got the palm one wrong too. Because I think one of the other options was like ‘wide body gestures’ or something which... I mean... also seems dominant?

Anyways. Like i said. Under protest. Because Im amazing at everything soooo

To me, it often comes off as stiff and arrogant...more than authoritative.

 

[á´…eparted]

I don't disagree with what you're stating but you're conflating intentions with results.

It's why I am very cautious with anything in a business setting. Genuineness is paramount to me. It matters to me if someones desire for results comes from a genuine place. If not, it needs to be strictly ethical.

As such I will never work in sales, and I avoid sales reps in any context.

 

[á´…eparted]

I didn't get the "staring" question because I subtly look around the room. And "putting the palm face down" because I have also seen very engaging, confident leaders being very expressive through hand movements which is different from jittery hands.

I agree. I only answered as such as that seemed like the most likely "correct" answer.

 

[rav3n]

It's why I am very cautious with anything in a business setting. Genuineness is paramount to me. It matters to me if someones desire for results comes from a genuine place. If not, it needs to be strictly ethical.

As such I will never work in sales, and I avoid sales reps in any context.

I too avoid sales like the plague and aren't easily fooled by sales people.

I agree. I only answered as such as that seemed like the most likely "correct" answer.

The question that you need to ask yourself is 'how' you knew what 'seemed like' the 'correct' answer.

 

[á´…eparted]

I too avoid sales like the plague and aren't easily fooled by sales people.

The question that you need to ask yourself is 'how' you knew what 'seemed like' the 'correct' answer.

Honestly, its largely instinct. I often know before I can explain it. I have to sort of explain it after the fact. I usually can.

My skill largely lies in sussing out a persons wiring and temperment. As for what they might be thinking or feeling in the moment that is more difficult and I am not always right with that.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

If you can't read the obvious stuff evidenced in the quiz, how do people expect to read the more subtle body language?

I don't think I understand what you're saying. The quiz seemed to focus on reading confidence and behavior that commanded authority, which doesn't seem like a very wide spectrum of basics or "obvious stuffs". I imagine an, "Are you fluent in body language?" that was geared towards personal relationships, or one geared towards caregivers to command a more nurturing presence would focus on a different set of obvious stuff.

 

[rav3n]

Honestly, its largely instinct. I often know before I can explain it. I have to sort of explain it after the fact. I usually can.

My skill largely lies in sussing out a persons wiring and temperment. As for what they might be thinking or feeling in the moment that is more difficult and I am not always right with that.

But that's just it. That's what reading body language is all about. It's an instinctual ability where some are more capable than others of doing it. This doesn't mean that anyone who can is 'better' than others. It's a matter of knowing what inherent talents and weaknesses that you have, to know what you can rely on to decision make, whether it's relative to people or otherwise.

People have often told me that I can read others scary well, even on first meet and greet. That said, if the person's deluded and honestly believes something that's not true, it can be difficult to ascertain the truth since their words, body language and pattern of behaviours align. So then, this is something to factor in.

 

[rav3n]

I don't think I understand what you're saying. The quiz seemed to focus on reading confidence and behavior that commanded authority, which doesn't seem like a very wide spectrum of basics or "obvious stuffs". I imagine an, "Are you fluent in body language?" that was geared towards personal relationships, or one geared towards caregivers to command a more nurturing presence would focus on a different set of obvious stuff.

Can you explain what 2, 3 and 7 have to do with dominance?

 

[Z Buck McFate]

Can you explain what 2, 3 and 7 have to do with dominance?

I don't want to bicker. In regard to those 3 specifically, I do not see them being about dominance. But in my opinion, even having 7 out of 10 questions centered on commanding authority merits the phrase, "a focus on commanding authority."

 

[rav3n]

I don't want to bicker. In regard to those 3 specifically, I do not see them being about dominance. But in my opinion, even having 7 out of 10 questions centered on commanding authority merits the phrase, "a focus on commanding authority."

What about 5 or 6?

 

[á´…eparted]

But that's just it. That's what reading body language is all about. It's an instinctual ability where some are more capable than others of doing it. This doesn't mean that anyone who can is 'better' than others. It's a matter of knowing what inherent talents and weaknesses that you have, to know what you can rely on to decision make, whether it's relative to people or otherwise.

People have often told me that I can read others scary well, even on first meet and greet. That said, if the person's deluded and honestly believes something that's not true, it can be difficult to ascertain the truth since their words, body language and pattern of behaviours align. So then, this is something to factor in.

I was actually talking about almost the exact subject with another member on discord the other night. Indeed, it is a skill that some people are naturally better at than others, and there is also a heavy degree of learnability with it too. It also doesn't make the person any better or worse because skills in a vacuum are meaningless (well, more or less). What matter is what you do with them.

At the risk of sounding egotistical, I'll say that I have an excellent judge of character, and can sniff out bad eggs very quickly with seemingly little information in large part because I absorb this stuff naturally. Family members have come to me for "reads" of people even when I was a child. I use it everywhere, but it's come in very handy at work, and I recently learned that my manager hired me in large part because she sensed I was very good with that sort of thing (and being good at it is essential for my job). To get a read of someone, you need to take in information from all angles and not just read them for what they are, but how they interact with other elements. Such as there being discongruency with vocal tone and body language.

The quiz though is geared mostly towards "learned" things you could pick up on in a coursework on this sort of thing. I'm quite certain there are business firms that offer training seminars on this sorts of thing, and it would be backed at least in part by some research. If you follow that stuff too rigidly, it's liable to not be terribly helpful. Honestly, I think testing someone ability to understand non-verbal communication is dreadfully difficult. Too many variables, and you can't re-create all of the stuff that people come to rely on in the real world.

 

[rav3n]

I was actually talking about almost the exact subject with another member on discord the other night. Indeed, it is a skill that some people are naturally better at than others, and there is also a heavy degree of learnability with it too. It also doesn't make the person any better or worse because skills in a vacuum are meaningless (well, more or less). What matter is what you do with them.

At the risk of sounding egotistical, I'll say that I have an excellent judge of character, and can sniff out bad eggs very quickly with seemingly little information in large part because I absorb this stuff naturally. Family members have come to me for "reads" of people even when I was a child. I use it everywhere, but it's come in very handy at work, and I recently learned that my manager hired me in large part because she sensed I was very good with that sort of thing (and being good at it is essential for my job). To get a read of someone, you need to take in information from all angles and not just read them for what they are, but how they interact with other elements. Such as there being discongruency with vocal tone and body language.

The quiz though is geared mostly towards "learned" things you could pick up on in a coursework on this sort of thing. I'm quite certain there are business firms that offer training seminars on this sorts of thing, and it would be backed at least in part by some research. If you follow that stuff too rigidly, it's liable to not be terribly helpful. Honestly, I think testing someone ability to understand non-verbal communication is dreadfully difficult. Too many variables, and you can't re-create all of the stuff that people come to rely on in the real world.

The business context is what's turning people off. Had they provided the quiz in other contexts, people wouldn't be so up in arms about it.

 

[á´…eparted]

Can you explain what 2, 3 and 7 have to do with dominance?

There's some merit to what Z is proclaiming here. This test is very strongly geared towards these abilities being applied in a white collar business/corporate setting, much less in day-to-day life. Which makes sense, as the majority of these sorts of profiles are applied to business in the hopes of improving workplace skills and competency. But, that's a whole nother can of worms of a topic. Either way, there are parallel assessment questions that could be directed towards, say, a care-takers prospective and the types of situations they find themselves in. That area also requites and benefits heavily from non-verbal communcation skills and understanding. Not everyone is going to be good at this broad spectrum, because experience and learning plays a large part in this. I see it as comparing biologists to physicists. Both scientists, both very skilled in the same field bubble, but when you zoom in far enough differences emerge, and skills abilities and knowledge don't always cross apply.

The business context is what's turning people off. Had they provided the quiz in other contexts, people wouldn't be so up in arms about it.

And rightfully so. I personally hate business and so much about it. I also incidentally do really well with it.

 

[rav3n]

There's some merit to what Z is proclaiming here. This test is very strongly geared towards these abilities being applied in a white collar business/corporate setting, much less in day-to-day life. Which makes sense, as the majority of these sorts of profiles are applied to business in the hopes of improving workplace skills and competency. But, that's a whole nother can of worms of a topic. Either way, there are parallel assessment questions that could be directed towards, say, a care-takers prospective and the types of situations they find themselves in. That area also requites and benefits heavily from non-verbal communcation skills and understanding. Not everyone is going to be good at this broad spectrum, because experience and learning plays a large part in this. I see it as comparing biologists to physicists. Both scientists, both very skilled in the same field bubble, but when you zoom in far enough differences emerge, and skills abilities and knowledge don't always cross apply.



And rightfully so. I personally hate business and so much about it. I also incidentally do really well with it.

Your hatred for business shouldn't influence your perception of the body language quiz. Analogous, considering a math test invalid because the examples given were business examples.

 

[á´…eparted]

Your hatred for business shouldn't influence your perception of the body language quiz. Analogous, considering a math test invalid because the examples given were business examples.

Hatred may or may not be an influence, and just because it shouldn't, doesn't mean that it won't. Dislike of something often does absolutely effect someones ability and skill at something. Emotions and opinions are powerful things. It also comes down to experience and exposure. Someone who doesn't want any part of business and has no experience is less likely to know these things. They haven't likely thought about them much, and aren't going to be perfect at it either.

 

[Frosty]

I was actually talking about almost the exact subject with another member on discord the other night. Indeed, it is a skill that some people are naturally better at than others, and there is also a heavy degree of learnability with it too. It also doesn't make the person any better or worse because skills in a vacuum are meaningless (well, more or less). What matter is what you do with them.

At the risk of sounding egotistical, I'll say that I have an excellent judge of character, and can sniff out bad eggs very quickly with seemingly little information in large part because I absorb this stuff naturally. Family members have come to me for "reads" of people even when I was a child. I use it everywhere, but it's come in very handy at work, and I recently learned that my manager hired me in large part because she sensed I was very good with that sort of thing (and being good at it is essential for my job). To get a read of someone, you need to take in information from all angles and not just read them for what they are, but how they interact with other elements. Such as there being discongruency with vocal tone and body language.

The quiz though is geared mostly towards "learned" things you could pick up on in a coursework on this sort of thing. I'm quite certain there are business firms that offer training seminars on this sorts of thing, and it would be backed at least in part by some research. If you follow that stuff too rigidly, it's liable to not be terribly helpful. Honestly, I think testing someone ability to understand non-verbal communication is dreadfully difficult. Too many variables, and you can't re-create all of the stuff that people come to rely on in the real world.

Yeah. Not to brag but I have been told Im pretty good at reading people irl too. People will tell me that things I noticed and said something about from the start, they realized weeks and weeks later on.

Its just what I do though. Its natural for me.

Body language- no. I mean, Im sure it helps, but really... its only ever part of the picture. I think it really is where just... gut intuition comes in.