SilkRoad
Lay the coin on my tongue
- Joined
- May 26, 2009
- Messages
- 3,932
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 6w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
Yeah, this is quite like me.
I think the best solution for me was to live with friends. It seems like for an introvert I need people a lot, and living with them was the perfect solution as there was none of these arrangements like setting dates and calling to people if they want to hang out. I could just walk to the living room...
I live alone but I used to live with flatmates. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, it can be nice to have company around and more available. And you usually live in a nicer/bigger place. On the other hand...you can end up putting up with a lot of compromise, weirdness and inconsiderate behaviour. And sometimes I felt just as lonely as I ever have living alone. I got along well with everyone, or almost everyone, I lived with, but I think some of them assumed that because I didn't push myself in or invite myself along to everything they were doing, I wasn't that interested in hanging out with them, and they often wouldn't even bother asking me.
The other problem that sometimes occurred was that I've tended to live with people with whom I have a lot of mutual friends, and there's always possibilities for hurt with who does or doesn't invite who to do stuff. I lived for a bit with a few people with whom we had a mutual "friend" who didn't like me much and on several occasions invited everyone else in the house over for a party, except me. Nice. (And these were big parties, not select dinner parties or whatever.) There was no particular reason for her to not like me - I wasn't the only person I knew who had that experience - she just had people she liked on one list, and people she didn't on another list, there didn't seem to be much logic to it.
EDIT: Despite the above, I would consider living with people again. But I'm a bit apprehensive about it. There was too much coming and going when I had flatmates and I ended up feeling very disrupted and unsettled. It's annoying when people you're not even in a relationship with, or bst friends with, can have that much effect on your life.