Wait a sec. I don't know if we're talking about the same girl here or two different ones? Because if one had already mentioned that they would be together once again and be married by 30, then essentially, it's not a silent promise to herself, but to 'both' parties involved.
It may be a silent promise to herself if she keeps it a secret from her current partner or potential relationships, which means she's playing the other guys,
knowingly.
. . . do any of you know someone that you are friends with now, or that has been an old flame of yours whom you think you will be together with again, in other words, is there, in the realm of your mind, an ever unfolding romance that happens between you and this person, and the story is so profound and real to you, that you know it may take a few more relationships for each of you, before you finally open your eyes for each other in a completely new fashion, and fulfill this ultimate romance that is being played out, hopefully in both of your heads?
This essentially means that you are actually pursuing relationships with other people but these relationships are ultimately doomed because that is part of the necessary tragedy that must take place before you and your ultimate love can be together.
. . . Are there any girls who think this way? Have you ever made that silent promise to yourself that you would wait for this special person, and how long have you waited, or how long have you been waiting?
With me- I don't wait, not especially in what's mentioned above. I may say "we'll see in the future" to let a guy down gently, but don't want to hurt his feelings in the moment, but will eventually tell him that I don't think he's the one so that I don't mislead. Reading the first portion of the quoted section breaks my heart.
I couldn't do that to another person. Get into other relationships
knowing that it wouldn't work out just to play a role in some kind of tragic love comedy?
I can't. It's like committing a sin, black magic. There are other parties involved here, and things don't just exist within themselves and just stay 'there.' Consequences occur.
If I were to make a silent promise to be with someone, it would be because we both agreed to it. I couldn't make a promise based on assumptions of not knowing but assuming to know. Hope I understand the question/scenario correctly. It's not to say that I haven't made a silent promise to myself to stay true to one person, and not date others. I think if someone's worth fighting for, something will happen. I stayed loyal for a long time .. but time fades and people move on. I broke my own promise because I felt it was irrational/stupid, and maybe it's because both he/I were too shy. Both were young, so.
Basically- to sum it up- when it comes to old flames I don't know what there is to re-kindle- bc in the back of my mind, if both people *truly* wanted to be with each other *that* much, they wouldn't let time fly by like that and date others and jeopardize what they do or did have. It doesn't make sense..
There are stories about how some retired senior citizens end up 'reuniting' after being years apart from each other and having family of their own. In reuniting after all of those years, is their bond still the same? I don't know. It's too on the surface to really know. Couples can appear happy on the outside, but miserable on the inside.
If on the other hand, say they both were young and for extenuating circumstances, couldn't be together, but let it be known they felt the same like in wartime situations (socioeconomic upheaval).. then maybe as an NFP I would wait, but wouldn't date others. In that case, I would need to be in contact with that person somehow where we both know we will find each other/meet up once again. That would take it onto a whole other level of commitment.
I knew a girl I worked with who was a mail order bride who, similar situation, asked me to get into contact with her former lover because she 'promised' him she would reunite with him in this country.. I felt sorry for her husband, and for that guy. Kinda felt sorry for her because she was that poor/desperate to get out of her situation, but was upset at her, because we're dealing with several people here, and she could potentially be pregnant by a guy whom she doesn't even love, and in her own words knows he's 'not the one.'
I've always been under the impression that for a healthy relationship to occur, we start off on a 'clean slate.' Meaning- no bullshitting. No tampering with other people's emotions. No getting other people involved for the sake of drama. Sorta like finding clarity in why/whom we love- it's about being 'real.' Anyway, sorry if this response was longer than expected, but no- I don't make promises to wait, because life's too short. Not unless if I'm married to someone, then that's a different case. Even then, I think proximity is important and being at that stage in life where we both growing together. For similar reasons to the 18 y.o. girl, now 30, being apart, time, distance, can put a huge strain on romance.. hence, it didn't work out, and both weren't willing to commit. Hope this helps. I think these questions make for really cool hypothetical situations.. (Hollywood story lines).