MSN Home : Is it Okay to Cry at Work?

[Lookin4theBestNU]

I'm someone who deals with people at work crying quite often. I consider it a good week if no tears are shed. I really wish most of the time that folks would take it to a quiet place but as an F feel I'm pretty well-equipped to deal with it. I've had some very hard days with failures, confrontations and loads of disappointment. I've had to release stress but attempt to be professional at all times. The day after my brother passed though I did sob in the office even though I thought I could handle it. If it's sincere I can appreciate the need better but still most people do not ask to be put in that position. Martoon is spot on that people expect you to respect their tears and this can be turned manipulative. I know a couple of women in particular who can turn on the at any given moment if it suits their needs. I find that far more frustrating when it's only a show. I've also had a couple of jobs where childish temper tantrums were allowed. I find that completely unacceptable and have left a job based on that fact alone.

 

[spirilis]

That's much more annoying to me than someone crying at work. If someone were crying at work, depending on the situation and context, it might make me a little uncomfortable, but I would most likely feel bad for them. But with people doing what you described, my only thought is grow up.

Haha, I've met a few folks who've done that at my workplace. It's just about the only kind of frustration release you find there (beyond the subtle-but-wholly-unsatisfactory passive aggression/bad attitude/blame game which I've found myself partaking) in a workplace nearly full of guys, especially in the tech. department.

I remember a couple weeks after I started working there as an intern, a coworker just got up and SHOVED everything, all the papers & computer hardware & junk straight off his desk extension and the one adjacent (which was unoccupied) and stormed off to get some coffee. I went over to pick up some of the stuff and my boss went "NO!! don't touch it! LET HIM pick it up" (which he did). That guy was a pistol to be sure. He's no longer there but we have someone else who likes to slam his fist against his desk (or shove papers) in quiet frustration every once in a while. It's kinda funny. FWIW I am pretty sure both of those folks are ESxP types, not that it has much to do with it. My personal preference is to use every curse word in the book in a low voice while flipping off my laptop when I'm pissed, followed by a bitch-slap motion against the side of the display.

 

[Eldanen]

I remember girls at my school who used to run out of the classroom on almost a daily basis in 12th grade to go cry. It was interesting to be around that much drama. It was actually quite invigorating for me . So go ahead, cry at work! Just don't expect me to be able to deal with your emotions :/.

 

[Anja]

Yeah, that desk slamming thing can turn into a grandstanding act as well. This winter I shared space with someone who acted out their frustration like that and it was most disconcerting. Just as tears seem to beg for a response so too did the stomping around, cursing and slamming things down.

I felt as though she was obligating me to join into her unhappiness. And as detached as I chose to be it did have that effect of unsettling me. It's pretty controlling.