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Memories of Andy – The Man of My Dreams

INTJMom

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It was almost 29 years ago that Andy came into my life and swept me off my feet. He was strong and capable and handsome and good-hearted… and my parents liked him! He made me feel loved and wanted. He was the man of my dreams. As a matter of fact, every time I introduced him to someone new, I would say, “This is Andy, the man of my dreams.” He always said that the reason he married me is because he knew “it would take somebody special to take care of me.” And I guess he thought he was the guy for the job.

There’s a lot of things I loved about Andy:
He was the handsomest guy I ever saw.
I loved his beautiful brown eyes.
He was gentle and tender-hearted and he cried sometimes at the sad parts of a movie.
He was honest and loyal, and a faithful husband the whole time we were married.
When he was romantic, he did it with flair.
One Valentine’s Day- he made reservations at our favorite restaurant. And when we got there, there was a rose and a card from him already on the table for me! He had gone through the trouble of stopping at the restaurant earlier in the day, and arranging for them to set our table with the rose and card when we got there. It was the extra thought and time that he put into it, that made it so memorable and made me feel so loved.
I still remember a really big fight we had when we were newlyweds. I don’t remember what the fight was about, but I do remember I was very angry. He came home that evening with a great big bouquet of wild flowers- of maybe 10 different kinds- that he had collected at the side of the road. The effort he took, meant more to me any expensive bouquet of roses could ever mean.

I made sure Andy was a well-kept secret. I didn’t tell anyone that he did dishes, vacuumed, changed diapers, helped fold laundry and took out the garbage without having to be asked. I didn’t want someone to try to take him away! But that was how Andy expressed love… by doing something for you.

Andy was always hard-working and helpful. And when he did something, he did it well. He was a great strategist and planner. If I needed to know the most efficient way to do something, I would ask Andy. He always had great, resourceful and inventive ideas. There was NOTHING he couldn’t figure out a way to fix. He was awesome!

Andy and I were both committed to going to church every Sunday and living by what the Bible teaches. Both of us believe, that what Jesus did for us on the cross, was to pay the debt for our sin, so we could be made right with God. The Bible says, WHOSOEVER believes in Jesus will not perish but have everlasting life. And that’s where Andy is now… enjoying everlasting life… where there is no death, no sorrow, no crying and no pain. (Rev. 21:4) And I’m happy for him. He deserves the rest. He didn’t talk about it very much but he suffered a lot of pain… in his back and his kidneys. Sometimes he would even groan in his sleep. But he just kept on going.

Andy was funny. He always had smart aleck remarks- delivered with perfect timing- to make people laugh. He used to say, “Stay flexible and have fun.” That was his motto.
Whenever he saw a pregnant woman, he would tell her she was “looking swell”.
Andy was always making people laugh at the Bingo Hall. One of the funniest things he told me, was about a time he was at the Bingo Hall, kneeling by one of the tables to pick up something. Someone smart-aleck remarked to him, “Hey, say a prayer for me while you’re down there.” And in true Andy Kritzman style, Andy clasped his hands together and said, “Lord… forgive them for gambling…”

I’m sure we’ll never stop repeating his funny sayings and jokes. He was lots of fun to be around!

Andy loved helping people. And he was very observant. Whenever he saw a car with a flat tire at the side of the road, he would always look to see if it was a man or a woman in trouble. If it was a woman, he would always stop. If it was a man- they were on their own! He always said, he hoped that if HIS wife or daughter were stranded at the side of the road, someone would stop for us.

I would never have wanted to be married to a man who wouldn’t stop to help a stranger. He was my knight in shining armor… my superman… he was the man of my dreams.

The last 2 months were especially sweet between Andy and me. It was like being newlyweds again. He was complimenting me and speaking to me gently in his soft sweet way. He was loving and caring and encouraging. Even though he was having a really hard time at work, he wasn’t bringing his trouble home… it’s almost as if he knew his time was short. He has left me with some of the sweetest memories I’ve ever had of him.

Andy had a good life, full of adventure. When he was in the Navy he went to South America and saw Peru, Chile and Brazil. He went to the Mediterranean, and visited Spain. He went to London, England for a week.

Bath Iron Works used to send him for week-long trips to Mississippi where he would enjoy the all-you-can-eat buffets at the Casinos. They sent him twice to Hawaii for ten days- which he greatly enjoyed. He was always adventuresome and enjoyed the sights wherever he went. In Hawaii he climbed Diamond Head and went snorkeling with sea turtles. He was sent to Washington State once where he looked up his mother’s brother- Uncle Danny- who he hadn’t seen since he was a kid. They went to visit Mt. St. Helens together.

I learned a lot from Andy. I learned to be a little more flexible… and to relax and have a little fun… and I learned to be more observant of my surroundings… which truly was one of his greatest talents.

A lot of people are shocked at his passing so suddenly and unexpectedly and have asked me what happened. We didn’t have much warning-except that he had high blood pressure and high cholesterol for over a year that we know of- and they put him on meds for that, an aspirin a day, about 2 months ago. And he was trying to take better of himself.

Without going into too much detail, right before he died, we were looking into each other’s eyes with love, and holding each other. He said “headache”, and he put his head on my chest… and I guess he died instantly. There was no sign of suffering or struggle. I didn’t know anything was wrong for at least a half a minute. The doctor said a sudden spike in blood pressure caused a “heart event”. They tried for a half hour to save him, but it wasn’t God’s will.

So many people have offered to help if there was ever anything we needed. I’m going to tell you one of those things we will need... Days from now, or weeks or months or even years from now, if one of us comes to your mind, and you think you should give us a call, or send an email, or write a note, or post a message on our Facebook wall, please do it. Don’t talk yourself out of it. You never know if God knows that we need the encouragement and he’s picked you for the job.

Thank you all for coming and supporting us. This is very hard to accept. I know he will be missed by so many people.

One thing Andy always insisted on is that we always had to kiss each other goodbye… because you never know if that’s the last time you’re ever going to see someone again.

Life is short.
Don’t forget to love the people around you,
and try not to take them for granted.
And don’t forget to stay flexible… and have fun.
 

Jeffster

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I do my best to remember every day to be grateful for what I have. Thanks for sharing the awesomeness of Andy with us. Hopefully, I'll get to give him a high five on the other side one day. :)
 

JAVO

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Thanks for sharing this. When my father died, I realized that there was no better reminder of what life was all about than death itself.
 

INTJMom

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This post is the eulogy I wrote for my husband... in its entirety... with no other text added.
 
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