[NT] Me VS. School

[Gewitter27]

All schoolers are going back soon. I have to go back on the 19th.

...



...

Okay, a bit of background. I've got quite a list on my Psychiatric bill, including Major Depressive Disorder.

School is my main stressor. I despise school. I loathe school. If you asked me to say 'School', I'd say it with the same contempt I would say 'Hitler' With.

Of course, with sadness, stress, and anger form one source comes the inevitable fear.

I fear school. I dread every single day. When I was only a couple years younger I'd cry my eyes out every sunday because I hated school and was scared of it.

Allow me to elaborate.

My High School has a district policy which basically says:

All kids must work in groups on evenly the simplest tasks.

Okay, that is pretty much what it says, I'm just putting in the omitted qualifier.

So, if you look down to my signiature, you'll see a hefty sum of 96% I. That's quite high. Allow me to resay what was said before, with extra emphasis.

All kids must work in groups on evenly the simplest tasks.

This takes enormous amounts of energy out of me. Because I'm so loopy, the staff is trying to help me, but can't disobey district policy, obviously written by 100% E's who have never, EVER even heard of an I before.

So, I fear school with the same fear that that a sleeping child on Elm street has for Mr. Krueger, and the same loathing of school that... Okay. I can't think of a befitting analogy because I hate school more than I've known anybody hate anything/one... Even with all my copious amounts of N. (93%)

...

Say what you will to this sad, subhuman creature. Nothing could make me feel worse now.

 

[Blank]

You were adopted into a life of knowing misery.

 

[Engler]

I, too, despise school, though for different reasons than your own.

Certainly, the social nature of school is rather draining, though the large amount of research time that is provided more than makes up for this.

No, I detest my academic situation because of the intense levels of structure that I am forced to deal with. Not only am I not permitted to study subjects of specific interest to me, but I also need to abide by a strict set of rules (ethical treatment of all students, respect of those in positions of authority, proper attire, etc.).

Unfortunately, as you can imagine, my rebellious behavior disrupts the potentially harmonious student-teacher dynamic for which I have always been provided the opportunity, but have also always rejected.

Ideally, I would be able to engage in autodidactic study while being provided with endless academic resources.

Sadly, this will never happen.

To shed typological light on both your and my hatred of school, it would not be unreasonable to say that your struggle can be attributed to your high introversion percentage, while my struggle can be attributed to high perception preference.

 

[Matthew_Z]

It's okay, Gewitter27. I'd honestly dread school if I were in your situation. I'd say you're a pretty normal person in a non-normal situation. Remember that.

I'm not sure how wanted us to respond, but I'll take a chance and assume that you're open for advice/suggestions. School is obviously causing stress and this stress is NOT going away. As I'm sure you know from how you used to feel, this isn't something you want to leave unchecked.

The simplest and perhaps best remedy is to find a different school without that horrid district policy. As with any long-term stress inducing environment, the best route is usually to simply leave. Ask your parents about transferring somewhere. Unaware of your economic situation, I'm not sure how practical this route is. However, it is to be preferred if it is possible.

Should it not be an option, you can also considering trying to reform the system. While this may not be possible on a district scale, there is an off chance that you can get your specific teachers to accommodate you. Naturally, they won't be fully aware of this problem unless you actually talk to them. Assuming that they're decent at their job, they should at least HEAR your grievances, even if they don't fully address them.

I strongly advise against giving anymore hope to the "try to learn to act a little more extraverted approach." As I'm sure you've learned from MBTI, that simply doesn't work. It would be a change. However, this change would be a distortion that would need to be undone later, not a transformation.

 

[BlackCat]

I can't help you any more than the people in here have helped so far, but here is my advice.

Find another N. An NF or an NT, anything. Or just find someone that understands, that you can tolerate. Someone within your mental age range. That's what is key, not S or N. But finding another N outside of the internet and in class was a gratifying experience.

 

[tinkerbell]

Hey

I can empathise a fair bit here, but can say different years at school were easier than others.

The bigger picture is, however the reason that the policy is in place. Very view areas in life will allow you to work without other people – hence you are being dictated to work with other people is not necessarily a bad thing... at 96% introverted this will leave you uncomfortable, but you need to acquire skills to reduce the IMPACT of your introverted-ness.

Introvertedness doesn’t mean you can’t work with people – it means you like to think things through before you discuss them.... ultimately this could be that you write lists of things you think are important to the piece of work you are doing, you then use that list when discussing with more extroverted people. it doesn't have to be a list, it could be anythign that helps you communicate.... this is something I was sent by another ENTP (who are just INTP who have over copensated because they hate bein in your shoes).....

A Periodic Table of Visualization Methods

You can lock a fair bit of information into bubble maps and other communications vehicles... For what its worth, I have been working with a team of rationalists at a very senior level in an very large organisation - The INTPs do very well - so it's not forever, but nessesary to find ways aroun feelign like crap.

I do realise this isn’t natural for you, but when you get into wider environments like university or work, you still need to deal with people. I can appreciate you are feeling at an emotional low ebb, but maybe you can use your brain power to think up positive coping mechanisms that allow you to feel more comfortable... a fair few other these could be based around what you can do, the positive things you can do such as strategy and thinking a problem all the way through, and focus less on the thing you are not so good at (which would get anyone down). As an INTP you’ve got good stuff in your head, better than many of the kids you will be working with.

Lis

 

[Grungemouse]

As in INTP, I can understand how imagination transmogrifies negative associations into something ten times as worse than the actuality of the circumstances. Just keep dreading School, convincing yourself the worst possible scenarios. You'll be surprised how mild School is in reality. I hated my Sixth form college, so days before returning I kept imagining everyone jeering at me in corridors, being treated unfairly by teachers and being ostracized by classmates. When I actually did return, this wasn't the case at all. Your situation sounds slightly more complicated, but I assure you it can't be as bad as you imagine.

Alternatively, when I'm dreading an event, I make plans for the day/weekend after. That way I'm too busy looking forward to what is happening after, the event I'm dreading seems insignificant. I find out whether or not I'm going to University this Thursday, for instance. On the Saturday after I'm going to London for the day.

 

[metaphours]

Even though I'm not an INTP, I know this feeling exactly and I have it right now. I just had to go back to school today, and it was terrible. I fucking hate school.

 

[think2much]

You have no idea how much stress school gives me. A paper or simple assigment would kill me to death when i was in high school. It's so bad right now that I'm thinking about dropping out of college right now.

 

[FigerPuppet]

You have no idea how much stress school gives me. A paper or simple assigment would kill me to death when i was in high school. It's so bad right now that I'm thinking about dropping out of college right now.

You should. Bill Gates did it.

 

[think2much]

Bill gate had a plan, I don't have a genius plan. I just want to work at a company and get paid. To do that i need a degree. Failure is not an option for me

 

[tgk]

Eh, school was easy.

Step 1: Get in good with the popular kids

Step 2: Copy from the same kids that they do

Step 3: ???

Step 4: PROFIT!


Seriously though, I am 89% I and I did fine.

WARNING! WALL OF TEXT! GO TO END FOR CLIFFS NOTES!

I went to a small private junior high for advanced / special needs kids, then transferred to a large (3000+) public HS full of rich cocky SoCal kids. I had literally no social skills or friends when I started.

I never took shit from anyone or try to impress anyone and when people in my classes got to know me and picked up on the witty shit I would say they appreciated it all the more which drew me out pretty quickly.

A lot of my teachers still remember me, I was the asshole that would call them out when they were spewing BS, get A's on my tests w/o studying at all, fall asleep in the back of class, come in half-baked almost everyday, and scheme for my less-than-intelligent friends to pass with decent grades. I would let them cheat all they wanted, making sure to tell them that I didn't study and had no idea how well I would do. It probably helps that I had 12th grade reading comprehension when I was in 3rd grade.

Papers were somewhat easy. I was lucky my dad is a published author and taught me how to write well when I was young (organize my thoughts, cut the fluff, add detail appropriately, sentence structure, syntax, etc...). I would spend 2-3 hours on a rough-draft, get a 90-100% on it and be done. Most the time only the first two paragraphs were about the prompt, I would go off on some tangent about something completely unrelated for 2-3 paragraphs, conclude, then be done. It kept the teacher entertained, as long as they knew I understood what was going on they didn't really care. I only got called out on this method once and that was by my freshman English teacher (she also taught AP English), I think her exact words were, "You are a hilarious writer, I got 2/3 of the way through and I was cracking up, but then I remembered that this is supposed to be a serious paper, and that you weren't even talking about the topic." I still convinced her to give me a 90% on that w/o a rewrite.

Group work was the worst until I figured out that everyone else was either [A] Stupid and thought they were smart, Stupid and knew they were stupid, [C] Actually smart and knew it, or [D] Smart but had no confidence so thought they were stupid / wouldn't say anything. If you are D or C get in a group of Bs, most group work is easy and monotonous, if they know you are smart they gladly let you lead, assign someone else to write and either divide the questions up and tweak their answers (giving yourself the easiest question of course), or have them pay you in either drugs, cash, or liquor (I did about $40 a person per project, always CASH. Get the money up front, never trade for an invite to a party or some other non-material favor, and never EVER do it for free). If I got into a group with an extroverted A or C, I had no problems letting them lead the group if I thought it was going somewhere good, I would never be the "writer" (my handwriting is atrocious), and only provide ideas when I thought it relevant. I would also claim the easiest questions, or be the person to put the project on poster-board / design the PowerPoint slides / whatever.

I would say some truth to some jackass, and when he would try to fight I typically had 3-4 guys and 5-6 girls get in their face for trying to fuck with me. The funny thing was I was a better fighter (and still am) than most of my friends and had no problem sticking up for myself, but would (still do) refuse to fight unless I had a real reason.

I was never the most popular kid, but I still got invited to lots of parties, hooked up with plenty of random chicks, and made a bunch of friends. I knew that I had to go to HS, and you can either hate it, or suck it up and make the best of it.

You are INTP, you are likely more intelligent than 99% of the school, you have no weakness, use this to your ADVANTAGE.


Cliffs:
HS was easy and fun. Don't be a lazy fuck, just read the wall of text.

 

[kathara]

I love school, I am so sorry I am done for the moment. But I plan on going back next year.

 

[kafkacat]

why not consider correspondence, there is less structure involved, you can't escape it completely, but i think it might work.

 

[Shimmy]

I hate school, I hate having to do what the teacher tells me, I hate studying trivial matters I don't care about, but since I got to university, for the first time I'm actually challenged, so it's getting better.

 

[Litvyak]

[YOUTUBE="k1prn8Urmmo"]Hey Cheer up kids! It gets a lot worse...[/YOUTUBE]