Lost Childhood Messages

[Asterion]

I think I'm actually a 5, wth.

 

[011235813]

I think I'm actually a 5, wth.

Welcome to the land of 59(4?) confusion. Pull up a nice fuzzy cushion, commence with navel gazing, and say goodbye to productivity forever.

 

[EJCC]

I don't understand any of this.

It could my fault, but it's pretty damn vague. Exactly who is supposed to be telling me these things? My parents?

Authority figures in general, I think.

And how you personally interpret the message.

For example, when I said earlier that a good one for 1w2 might be "You deserve to be loved" (note: in retrospect it should have said "You deserve to be loved no matter what") -- I had openly loving and caring parents who were a big part of my life and who definitely delivered that message to me, but for whatever reason it didn't really click. Despite them, not because of them, I would hate myself whenever I did anything wrong.

Some of it could have been their slightly uneven disciplinary policy (hypothetical scenario: I perform a bad action twice in a year, the first time it makes my mother cry and she storms out of the room, and the second time it's no big deal). But I think it may have even been a consequence of my parents' love and care; as the only recipient of that care (i.e. an only child), I felt like I needed to deserve it, and I'd feel horrible if I didn't. Constant love might have become untrustworthy. I remember being a little kid and saying things along the lines of "You say it's no big deal, but how can it be no big deal?? You saw how much I messed up! You're lying and pretending to be fine to make me feel better!"

Edit: I hope that wasn't TMI. I was just trying to illustrate a point... while also brainstorming.

 

[Anew Leaf]

Welcome to the land of 59(4?) confusion. Pull up a nice fuzzy cushion, commence with navel gazing, and say goodbye to productivity forever.

Haha!

Or be told you are actually a 4-9-7 and add more confusion to the mix *eyes well with tear*

 

[Asterion]

Welcome to the land of 59(4?) confusion. Pull up a nice fuzzy cushion, commence with navel gazing, and say goodbye to productivity forever.

gosh, darn, shoot... how am I supposed to naval gaze? I DON'T HAVE TIME TO NAVAL GAZE! /freakout

I can throw some 3 in there thankfully.

Haha!

Or be told you are actually a 4-9-7 and add more confusion to the mix *eyes well with tear*

nah nah, you're more 7-9-2

 

[Anew Leaf]

gosh, darn, shoot... how am I supposed to naval gaze? I DON'T HAVE TIME TO NAVAL GAZE! /freakout

I can throw some 3 in there thankfully.



nah nah, you're more 7-9-2

LuckIly I have been heckled enough this weekend so that I have a thick layer of anti troll going on... If I hadn't then this post would make me cry. Yeah I went there.

 

[Asterion]

LuckIly I have been heckled enough this weekend so that I have a thick layer of anti troll going on... If I hadn't then this post would make me cry. Yeah I went there.

I wonder if 9s have the best anti-troll?? Maybe they should bottle it and sell it to us for profits, hmmm. No wait... you'd just pick fights to reel them in.

The best thing you can do, is just slam a 4 label on your forehead, put cotton wool in your ear lobes and go "la la" to everything else. Works like a charm

 

[Anew Leaf]

I wonder if 9s have the best anti-troll?? Maybe they should bottle it and sell it to us for profits, hmmm. No wait... you'd just pick fights to reel them in.

The best thing you can do, is just slam a 4 label on your forehead, put cotton wool in your ear lobes and go "la la" to everything else. Works like a charm

Haha! I am a four . But thank you for attempting to poke me into an emo meltdown. Now, if you will excuse me, I have some emo poetry to write about a boy who doesn't know I exist.

 

[Such Irony]

I really relate to the five message and somewhat to 6 and 9.

 

[strychnine]

Type Seven: It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything.
Type Eight: It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone.
Really had problems with these until a few years ago. I didn't trust anyone not to pull the rug out from under me when it mattered most; I lived by the saying, "If you want it done right, do it yourself" except by "right" I really meant "in a way that doesn't ruin your entire life!!!" Eventually I realized that other people are as dependable as, if not more dependable than me which made group work much easier and stress levels much lower. I lived happily with two different roommates and trusted them -- nothing went wrong. I trusted my lab group to do their part -- no problem.

Type Nine: It's not okay to assert yourself.
I don't know how much of this has to do with being female (or at least being raised as a girl)... this hasn't been an issue in adulthood though.

Type Three: .“You are loved for yourself.”
If people love me at all it's for who they think I am; the image, not the person.

Type Six: … ..“You are safe.”
This could be self-pres instead, right?

Type Eight: ..“You will not be betrayed.”
going back to that trust thing.

Outside of this I relate in general to types 7, 3, and (to a lesser degree) 5 most.

 

[brainheart]

You know, I read these ages ago in the wisdom of the enneagram and I didn't really get it. So I pretty much dismissed it. Then a couple of weeks ago, in a moment of frustration, I thought, "what the hell is my problem? Why have I always felt like I'm not allowed to be healthy and happy?" And then my mind flashed to the type four unconscious message and I finally realized what they were getting at.

I'm not sure where this message came from, it doesn't seem to be an issue with my siblings. If anything I'd say the messages my parents gave were of the 1,2, and 6 varieties. But it is for sure ingrained within my psyche. And very hard to shake.

 

[Rail Tracer]

Type One:…. “You are good.”
Type Two: …”“You are wanted.”
Type Three: .“You are loved for yourself.”
Type Four: …“You are seen for who you are.”
Type Five: ….“Your needs are not a problem."
Type Six: … ..“You are safe.”
Type Seven:..“You will be taken care of.”
Type Eight: ..“You will not be betrayed.”
Type Nine: ...“Your presence matters.”

Type One: It's not okay to make mistakes.
Type Two: It's not okay to have your own needs.
Type Three: It's not okay to have your own feelings and identity.
Type Four: It's not okay to be too functional or too happy.
Type Five: It's not okay to be comfortable in the world.
Type Six: It's not okay to trust yourself.
Type Seven: It's not okay to depend on anyone for anything.
Type Eight: It's not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone.
Type Nine: It's not okay to assert yourself.

Kind of funny, I was generally the more passive one of my family. While my siblings would bicker, the second I were to begin arguing, I would just stop because I thought it was just pointless to argue. As a kid, I always wanted to be good to my family and to be praised for my small accomplishments. Even my siblings tell me I need to be more assertive with myself, which doesn't seem to come naturally (unless if it is a certain case like politics or something.)

Anyhow, the 9 and 1 messages are pretty strong on me. Possibility that the 9 messages seem to ring the loudest (back to changing my type to 9w1?) It seems "You are good" is secondary to "Your presence matters."