Longing for light, life, future and change

[EndlessNameless]

I am drowning, and I am tired. My eyes are tired, they haven't seen the light for such a long time. My skin looks unhealthy from living in the dark. Every peace of my body is longing for light. I needed my little dark places, to hide from the sun. I needed to feel all that pleasure and comfort in being sad and depressed. But not anymore. The only thing it does to me...It just keeps me drowning. No real satisfaction, no real feelings, just stagnation on the illusion of the "missuderstood victim". F*CK that! I was looking for the meaning in all of that self analyzing and destrutcion, but I all I found...was a meaningles hole. "Self appointed judges judge, more than they have sloved." Not anymore! I don't want to spend in the dark one more second of my freakin' life! I don't want to stagnate, I don't want to fight the deamons of illusions. I am ready to see and feel the light. I am ready to see what's good.
I feel all of that power inside of me, like I can really beat that unhealthly 4w5 inside of me and live my life surrounded by possitive and good thoughts and energy. I need to do that. I want to breathe free.
I had so many dreams, that I wanted, but I turned from them...Why? Why I didn't follow what I needed? Light, warm, traveling, experiences...That's what I need. Music, art, my voice, my guitar and a van a hey ho let's go to the neverland! Give me freedom, give me future to believe in, everything is possible...I can be a freakin' airplane if I want to! No limits, no true and false, nothing behind me... Freedom at its best.