Life the Universe and Everything

[thinkinjazz]

I am freaking out, the feeling of wanting to jump out of your skin. I am an ENFP- a positive happy and strange type person, but things are not ok. I am in college right now, I graduate in a year and i have not managed to take any classes I enjoy because i don't want to hurt my parents. It's hurting me though and now i think it's too late- the wrong school, the wrong people (not that these are bad people, but they're not as outgoing as at UC Berkeley), and I am not doing what I love and never did even when I wanted to in highschool, even when a part of me knew that was what I needed to be fixed. Don't tell me this is normal, that nothing's wrong, because i am not ok with this, but I don't know what to do about it. I feel like I've lost so much and let so many opportunities slip by. I need help. Why don't I react on what I want? Just because my parents gave me the exact opposite of what I cared about or needed doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to fix this and take care of myself- what's their crime afterall, loving me? They thought they were doing the right thing. I am trying to be independent. I am quitting school after this year. I think that might be better than graduating because I am sick of school and am starting to hate my major- everything is all wrong and I want to be fixed I want to live on my terms. i am confused. I think I just want to be a dance teacher. I am a broken ENFP. I know what I want, I just don't know how to get it.