Now, Mr JJJ, we are getting somewhere! Thanks ever so much for the comprehensive peek into your head!
As far as the last point where examples were requested by both you and BC goes, I am thinking specifically of a thread about Fe vs Fi and going to visit a sick friend. In my recollection, the sick person happened to be a Fe user who could not understand why the Fi user would not choose to visit. The Fi people argued vehemently that 1) It might make them uncomfortable 2) It's not fair for the Fe person to cohearse them into something they don't want to do 3) They'll show their love in their own way and that it's hardly a freely offered act of kindness if it's something expected of them by the Fe user. They also suggested that it might make the sick person uncomfortable or inconvenience them to be visited at that time because that is how they would feel personally if they were the sicky. I think that while no one wants to feel expected to do something they'd rather not, sometimes you have to give love in the way the other person wishes to receive it instead of the way that you find most instinctive to give. You should be expected to read minds, nor change who you are fundamentally, but what would it really hurt to go take the person some soup if it matters so blamed much to them? In the same way, I believe the Fe person should not impose their presence on the Fi person if they wish to be left alone, even though it might seem horribly uncaring and cold and even unpleasant to the Fe person to do so.
I do suspect that this thread was created for me out of issues brought up in the INFJ Pitfalls in Communication thread. However, I have the sneaking suspicion of late that I may be monopolizing conversations here and don't wish to wear out my welcome even though I have lots of questions. Please feel free to jump in, other people!