[ISFJ] ISFJs and yelling outbursts

[d@v3]

Is there physical violence with these outbursts? Like hitting inanimate objects and things? How long do they last?

 

[INTJMom]

Is this normal?

My ISFJ is WONDERFUL, but when something goes wrong and he's super frustrated (a piece of machinery doesn't work and he can't figure it out, over and over and over, for instance), he will let out a super big "GHAHHHHHH!!!" at no one in particular. Sometimes he's so mad he has to go outside and pace and yell a few times. No amount of consoling helps, it's best to just let him get it out.

It's not directed at me, it's not scary, it's just unusual. I've never heard anything like it.

Any thoughts?

In my opinion, this is a good thing.
I have an ISFJ friend who never expresses anything and she eats to comfort herself and she weighs 385 lbs.

 

[prplchknz]

I have to admit i do have yelling outbursts .. although trying to control them .. My problem is everything has to be done a particular way ie Perfect, so when the flat pack instructions are in a foreign language, i'll just get on with it until i flip out and throw the screwdriver across the room .. but as quick as my outburst is, im calm again and i start all over again .. Because i do everything almost perfect i expect the same in return .. lol .. but flat pack items are not usually perfect be it instructions or missing screws ..

no one does everything perfectly. It's a fact of life, so don't pretend to do everything perfectly, because unless you're god you're incapable of being perfect all the time. the sooner you learn this the happier you will be.

I'm pretty sure I lived with pretty emotionally unstable ISFJ and it was awful, she was very avoidant, it was like she had all the bad ISFJ traits and none of the good, which got old fast. I was very depressed living their, she would never confront a problem, or if I confronted her about something she'd tell me what I wanted to hear but then would do nothing about it. I gave up talking to her, I confronted her one last time before moving out and she just ignored me, so I'm glad to be gone, I told her I was moving out, and that the internet would be cancelled and I was taking the wireless router, and she needed to pay the electric herself, as she owed me $70 for internet so I think it's fair. Of course I think she was pissed about the whole thing, but you know what? If she would be more receptive to others and put the cable and internet in her name like she was suppose to then, she wouldn't be in this mess.I also gave her 2-3 weeks notice so if she wanted to do something about it she could have.

 

[Giggly]

WHITE CHICKENS ARE THE BEST!!!!!

/outburst


(ps - it sounds like she was just weird, prplchnz)

 

[prplchknz]

I agree she was weird, but seemed like she very unhealthy in alot of ways aswell, she's one of those I'm perfect people, but as soon as one thing goes not to her liking she freaks out. I'm like and just wonder what the big deal actually is. I mean she's freaked out when her phone wouldn't stop going off I told her either put it on silent or turn it off no one will get that mad if she doesn't respond right away. She made up some lame excuse as to why she couldn't

 

[Giggly]

I agree she was weird, but seemed like she very unhealthy in alot of ways aswell, she's one of those I'm perfect people, but as soon as one thing goes not to her liking she freaks out. I'm like and just wonder what the big deal actually is. I mean she's freaked out when her phone wouldn't stop going off I told her either put it on silent or turn it off no one will get that mad if she doesn't respond right away. She made up some lame excuse as to why she couldn't

^that sounds like something that would get old really fast.

 

[entropie]

I don't do this. I get frustrated with things sometimes but I don't yell out.

I have, however, yelled back at someone who yelled at me first.

You obviously havent met your master yet

 

[Saslou]

no one does everything perfectly. It's a fact of life, so don't pretend to do everything perfectly, because unless you're god you're incapable of being perfect all the time. the sooner you learn this the happier you will be.

I'm pretty sure I lived with pretty emotionally unstable ISFJ and it was awful, she was very avoidant, it was like she had all the bad ISFJ traits and none of the good, which got old fast. I was very depressed living their, she would never confront a problem, or if I confronted her about something she'd tell me what I wanted to hear but then would do nothing about it. I gave up talking to her, I confronted her one last time before moving out and she just ignored me, so I'm glad to be gone, I told her I was moving out, and that the internet would be cancelled and I was taking the wireless router, and she needed to pay the electric herself, as she owed me $70 for internet so I think it's fair. Of course I think she was pissed about the whole thing, but you know what? If she would be more receptive to others and put the cable and internet in her name like she was suppose to then, she wouldn't be in this mess.I also gave her 2-3 weeks notice so if she wanted to do something about it she could have.

Everything you are saying is true .. Although i like everything to be done a particular way, i do try and do everything to the best of my ability and when i want to be shown appreciation for it .. i get called a Martyr .. my marriage breakdown is due to my emotional instability and the fact i never approached a problem and tried to look for a solution, i always though "ahh, it will be alright" .. i hate the fact i do extremes, im either so happy i could burst .. or so depressed i spiral out of control .. there never seems to be a balance, a middle ground , i think i am just an emotional time bomb and i dislike it .. I honestly don't blame him for leaving .. I am trying however to better myself .. and that's all that matters ..We can only learn from our mistakes

I must point out though .. My hubby asked me to take the test to find out what we were and me being the guardian and him being a mastermind (1-2% of the population) he was the logical person and i was the emotional one, we had in ourselves what the other lacked .. and that may of been our ultimate downfall ..

 

[maliafee]

Is there physical violence with these outbursts? Like hitting inanimate objects and things? How long do they last?

No physical violence, except sometimes he'll throw something he's been working on across the yard (rare). It's just yelling out into the void. Sometimes there are words, like, "It's NOT FAIR!!!" It's very childish, but it doesn't hurt anyone and I find it cute at times and semi obnoxious at other times.

In the last 14 months together, I got that angry ONCE when I accidentally ruined some really special, amazing cheddar bread I had spent hours on right after I pulled it out of the oven. I yelled, "FUUUUCK!" and threw the annoying bread away. I was mad for about 5-10 minutes, just fuming.
Interestingly, my ISFJ boyfriend's reaction to my outburst was to just get very avoidant and quiet (after his first, "Sorry sweetie," didn't help much) with me and then I had to show him I was over it and make sure he was okay. I don't think he realizes that he does the same kind of outburst every so often himself...

I wonder if he's aware of it or if it's just a way of letting out steam and he doesn't ever think about it again?

 

[Giggly]

^if his behavior is scaring you I think you should tell him that it is.

He may be offended or hurt by this but you can't live in fear.

 

[maliafee]

^if his behavior is scaring you I think you should tell him that it is.

He may be offended or hurt by this but you can't live in fear.

Oh don't worry! I'm not scared. He's not violent.

Sometimes it's startling, is all. I've told him this and he usually goes outside to yell now.