[MBTI General] IS_J and the past

[Glycerine]

I say that I like to live in the present...but I know that the past has a strong pull on my actions, probably. What I really mean is that I try to live in the present, but that doesn't always mean I'm successful at it.

That's how it is for me, but maybe it's not the case for Chosen One.

That makes complete sense

 

[Jeremy]

Strange really, when you think about it. After all, everything in the past has gone forever. The child you were is dead. The person you were yesterday is dead. Tomorrow has not happened yet. Given that, why do so many of us find it hard to let go of past guilt, pain, memories and all.

The child you were yesterday and the person you were yesterday are all a part of who you are today - they're not "dead". To deny the past is to deny a large part of who you are. Remember that the past is really the only thing that has any certainty to it; the only thing that has the ability to be clung on to. Everything else is an unknown.

 

[Glycerine]

lol I've had this dilemma a bunch of times (ISTJ or ISTP?). As I like to say, I'm an ISTJ when I'm working, and ISTP when I'm not working.

Haha, people would probably mistake me as an ISTJ/ ISTP at school but at all the other times, it's fairly evident that I'm INFJ.

 

[Cimarron]

Everything you just said makes you really sound like an ISTP then. From my understanding: SJ's tend to live in the past, SP's tend to live in the present moment, N's tend to live in the future.

I've been thinking about this since I read your post. It's not new, lots of people say this or generally agree with it, but to me it seems strange to categorize it all so easily.

But--it does make a lot of sense when you think about what "past", "present", and "future" really mean and how human beings experience these three different situations.

It would mean that SJs prefer the past over the present and future. That even when we have to move on, and do move on, deep down we're thinking "yeah, but I would've preferred to stay in the past."

 

[Giggly]

lol I've had this dilemma a bunch of times (ISTJ or ISTP?). As I like to say, I'm an ISTJ when I'm working, and ISTP when I'm not working.

That's good.

 

[Glycerine]

I've been thinking about this since I read your post. It's not new, lots of people say this or generally agree with it, but to me it seems strange to categorize it all so easily.But--it does make a lot of sense when you think about what "past", "present", and "future" really mean and how human beings experience these three different situations.

It would mean that SJs prefer the past over the present and future. That even when we have to move on, and do move on, deep down we're thinking "yeah, but I would've preferred to stay in the past."

You make a great point. Each individual is different and many people (including myself) seem to be so bogged down on trying to figure out other people that we put unrealistic clean cut labels on them. I see this on this site. People try to make generalizations like "SJs like rules and they are into conformity. However, this is not the case and there is such a wide variety in each type. For me, there are a few INFX's that drive me off the wall haha, So yeah, I would agree with you that those labels oversimplify people.

 

[Cimarron]

I mean, that's pretty much the disclaimer for this entire forum. If we want to discuss anything, we'll have to generalize, because MBTI is categorization. (But that line wasn't the body of my post that you quoted.)

 

[Anja]

Every now and then around here I'll run into someone who is obviously making assumptions about me from my type and I find it irritating.

That said, My ISTJ husband values the past quite a bit, I think. I think he has trouble letting go of past hurts. I don't know if that's typical or not.

 

[Anja]

Strange really, when you think about it. After all, everything in the past has gone forever. The child you were is dead. The person you were yesterday is dead. Tomorrow has not happened yet. Given that, why do so many of us find it hard to let go of past guilt, pain, memories and all.

I'll speak to this, Geoff, and say that it may make a good thread all by itself. I have some ideas about the child not being "dead" at all. He isn't, you know, and that's the problem. Nor should he be!

 

[Glycerine]

I mean, that's pretty much the disclaimer for this entire forum. If we want to discuss anything, we'll have to generalize, because MBTI is categorization. (But that line wasn't the body of my post that you quoted.)

well, I didn't respond to everything else because I agreed w/ it from the get go... i just did not verbalize it...my bad.

 

[Shaula]

Any other IS_J having problems letting go of past things?

I knew a few ISTJs who wouldn't get over a grudge against someone until they were dead.

The child you were yesterday and the person you were yesterday are all a part of who you are today - they're not "dead". To deny the past is to deny a large part of who you are.

Very true but I prefer to think my past never existed. Or that child I used to be was a completely different person who died a long time ago. I hate revisiting my past, it makes me bitter and dissappointed in myself.

 

[Anja]

You know, Shaula, that recognizing the wounded child and helping it heal is the way out of the bitterness and disappoinment? True.

 

[NewEra]

I knew a few ISTJs who wouldn't get over a grudge against someone until they were dead.

That's the opposite of me. Usually if I get mad, I get very mad at someone for a little bit, and then forget about it a short while later and get along fine with them after then.

It's probably not an ISTJ thing.

 

[Costrin]

That's the opposite of me. Usually if I get mad, I get very mad at someone for a little bit, and then forget about it a short while later and get along fine with them after then.

It's probably not an ISTJ thing.

It's probably more of an unhealthy type thing. Or healthy type that was really screwed over by someone thing.

 

[Habba]

I personally don't hold grudges long, at least if the other person is willing to apologize, or won't hold a grudge against me. Of course, I won't forget what has happened, but I'm not very emotional person, and holding a grudge requires lots of negative emotions I think.

I do have a great memory. Just few days ago I was talking with a long time friend, and I noticed myself saying "Hey, you told me that already 10 years ago, no need to repeat yourself."

Dominant Si has also given me an exceptional sense of direction. I never get lost. It's like having a Google Earth inside my head. So, I wouldn't call dominant Si just being "troublesome". It's just kind of double-bladed sword.

But I can't help myself from recalling the "good ol' times" from my past from time to time, and mourning what I have lost (possibilities, etc). But acknowledging this, I can push myself forward and tell my dominant Si that "Only direction we can go, is forward. And only in the future we can be something that we are not now". It helps... but I just have to keep doing that actively.

Throwing away stuff that reminds the me of the past has also helped. I bet you other Si's have plenty of stuff from the past, for the memories' sake. Do yourself a favor, and hide them!

 

[Take Five]

I definitely think ISJ remembrance of the past is a gift and a curse. A gift because of such things like I never forget where I leave my keys, and it also helps with getting to know people. There's a certain sharpness in the present that reflects a good knowledge of the past. On the other hand, it can cause great gloom and frustration when combined with a highly developed sense of responsibilty and a little bit of pessimism. I often think of things like "if only I had done this" or "I could have done more." It's like the phrase "opportunity knocks only once" was probably made up by an ISJ. As for anger or grudges, I don't hold grudges against people because I hold myself responsible for not foreseeing certain things.

 

[Shaula]

It's probably more of an unhealthy type thing. Or healthy type that was really screwed over by someone thing.

Oh no doubt, they were very unhealthy.

 

[Cimarron]

Throwing away stuff that reminds the me of the past has also helped. I bet you other Si's have plenty of stuff from the past, for the memories' sake. Do yourself a favor, and hide them!

Yeah, I've made myself put reminders of the past away before, when I realized it wasn't helping me, it was just dragging me down. But I did not throw it away! I don't know, I can have a real struggle when deciding what to throw out during massive clean-ups. Si vs. Te maybe.

 

[Lightning_Rider]

Of course that is part of having Introverted sensing, though I think it might affect Feelers over thinkers more since they might be inclined to dwell on strong emotional experiences more? I dunno. But if those experiences are always negative, then yea that can be hard. But I also agree with the people who say it's not only a curse but a blessing. These experiences and memories make you who you are and affect your personality. So I guess you just have to accept that it is part of who you are and realise that not everyone is like this, no, but that's part of what makes you unique, your ability to recall these memories and experiences, as well as the uniqueness of them in themselves, obviously.

 

[Fuent]

I am curious.

If an NT started this thread and said that Si is very problematic function would you be offended?

Or that depends on how it was said?

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