As an enfp, i used to get deeply hurt (anger is kinda a no no as a girl) when people were rude to me because my default need is to be understood. It's how I show others I care about them - by trying to understand where they're coming from. I would get very frustrated and hurt, to the point of hysterical (if pushed too long and hard by certain relatives) trying to explain myself, and having them twist everything into a negative and untrue perspective. It took me a while to understand that others don't share my default perspective, why that is and how to deal with that.
The same is true for underdog causes. Harming others, including through cruel statements and verbal bullying tends to make my blood boil, causing the whole 'championing' effect that enfps are known for. Considering that Fi is a mother**** wild horse to tame when you're young, it can cause intense emotion and some serious practice to learn how to deal with.
It doesn't help if your self-esteem was damaged in your childhood, because you take these insults onboard even more readily and they stay with you (as you have no faith in your own judgements and often have been taught to accept other's stances instead as true as a default) - which in turn causes you to rebel against them and build up resentment, which leads to lashing out and explosive tempers.
It takes time to learn to trust your own judgement and how to process what people tell you in a constructive way - to learn how to weed out which comments you should take on board and how to see which comments are honestly just motivated by what is going on within those people (which is about 90 percent of the time).
For now, as a rough rule of thumb, take everything other say with a bucket of salt, especially if it's meant to get your goat or be harmful in some way - it usually means those people have so much shit they have to work through still, that they're just lashing out (like you do when you explode) at you to take their mind of the misery in their own life. It's especially brutal when you're younger, as everyone, including yourself, is still sorting out their shit, causing them to hurt others, often without meaning to, or intentionally to feel better about themselves in comparison.
Knowing that they're struggling themselves and figuring out why is how I cope with this and what allows me to somewhat distance myself and feel compassion for them, instead of getting hurt and upset.
It does take some practice, though
Note: if you don't feel you can relate to this narrative, just disregard it.
