[INTP] INTP Flirt?

[Santosha]

Do INTP's flirt with people for long periods of time without ever having any real intention of it progressing?

Just curious =)

 

[INTPness]

Dang it. Tried to insert a .gif. Didn't work.

Edit: The flirting is part of the process of figuring out if you want to sell the house and move to Moscow to be with the girl. That can take a year or three for INTP's. May God richly bless those who have something called patience.

 

[Jessica]

Do INTP's flirst with people for long periods of time without ever having any real intention of it progressing?

Just curious =)

Yes.

We are not usually the ones who make things progress. Male or female, INTPs tend to only do a serious pursuit if they're enamored to an extreme degree. Typically, at the point in which we pursue, we do it in an unhealthy and pushing-away type of way.

If you're looking for INTP love, you're going to have to act more than they.

 

[Santosha]

But would the INTP flirt just to flirt is my point. Do INTP's flirt with people for long periods of time (years) if they really have no interest in someone? Or would they not waste their time?

 

[INTPness]

But would the INTP flirt just to flirt is my point. Do INTP's flirt with people for long periods of time (years) if they really have no interest in someone? Or would they not waste their time?

Hard to say. A young INTP might lead someone on and not care about the ramifications of that. I'd like to think that one who has a little life experience under their belt and a little compassion wouldn't do such a thing. Once I know that I'm not into someone in *that way*, I'll try really hard to NOT say flirtatious things, so as to not give a false impression. But, you know, also keep in mind that sometimes an INTP might just enjoy your company and your friendship - they may want to be your friend for years - someone they can relax and be silly with - yet never wanting more. That's possible too. I've had this crop up before. If you're in doubt, you may want to ask where you stand.

 

[INTPness]

But would the INTP flirt just to flirt is my point. Do INTP's flirt with people for long periods of time (years) if they really have no interest in someone? Or would they not waste their time?

I guess to answer more directly: no. I would not flirt for years if I wasn't into someone.

It wouldn't be good for them and it would be highly inefficient for me.

 

[Jessica]

But would the INTP flirt just to flirt is my point. Do INTP's flirt with people for long periods of time (years) if they really have no interest in someone?

No.

 

[INTP]

in real life, you wouldnt get that smooch if there wasnt mutual understanding that its just a joke. but since you live in the other side of world and this is the internets, its pretty obvious that its not going anywhere no matter how many of those i give you. and ofc this isnt just with smooch smilies. but dunno there might be some exceptions, but that would require something coming from the other person also, maybe..

what sort of flirting are we talking about here?

 

[Totenkindly]

Haven't you ever heard of the saying, "I'm INTP; flirt harder"?

Any individual person within any type is capable of flirting, but INTPs can be kind of earnest / too straightforward at times to always be flirting.

 

[INTP]

oh yea. also if someone is playful with me, im most likely the same way back and if someone is serious woth me, im serious too. and its not just that i reply to playfulness, but more like i feel comfortable of being playful with you if you have been that way to me, but if someone is serious with me all the time, i dont feel comfortable of being playful with her/him. in real life that is, internets is a whole different thing

 

[Santosha]

But, you know, also keep in mind that sometimes an INTP might just enjoy your company and your friendship - they may want to be your friend for years - someone they can relax and be silly with - yet never wanting more.

What is funny about this, is that I dated this particular INTP looong ago, and he was actually wanting to be very serious and ultimately wanted to get married, have kids, etc. We had only been seeing eachother very briefly when he told me this (that it's what he wanted - not necessarily asking me to) , and I told him he was crazy for wanting to settle so young.. and that I wouldn't be at that point for along time. THEN, I pushed for just a friendship because I really, really enjoyed his company.. and he told me NO! That he already had as many friends as he needed and didn't need anymore friends and that he wasn't into me from just a friendship standpoint. It really hurt my feelers actually. So ya, it kinda disolved from there. Sure enough, he friended me on FB about 3 years ago and makes it a point to "like" and comment on every dam thing I say or do. I was just trying to figure out his intentions without making an ass of myself =P

 

[INTPness]

What is funny about this, is that I dated this particular INTP looong ago, and he was actually wanting to be very serious and ultimately wanted to get married, have kids, etc. We had only been seeing eachother very briefly when he told me this (that it's what he wanted - not necessarily asking me to) , and I told him he was crazy for wanting to settle so young.. and that I wouldn't be at that point for along time. THEN, I pushed for just a friendship because I really, really enjoyed his company.. and he told me NO! That he already had as many friends as he needed and didn't need anymore friends and that he wasn't into me from just a friendship standpoint. It really hurt my feelers actually. So ya, it kinda disolved from there. Sure enough, he friended me on FB about 3 years ago and makes it a point to "like" and comment on every dam thing I say or do. I was just trying to figure out his intentions without making an ass of myself =P

Well, he probably was very infatuated with you and/or began to fall in love with you. Regardless of type, it's very common in human relations that one person will develop feelings faster and then if it's not responded to in kind, that person is hurt or feels betrayed to some degree. As slow as INTP's are, we can certainly fall head-over-heels in love too. It does happen.*

*With about the same frequency as Haley's comet being visible from earth.

 

[Jessica]

What is funny about this, is that I dated this particular INTP looong ago, and he was actually wanting to be very serious and ultimately wanted to get married, have kids, etc. We had only been seeing eachother very briefly when he told me this (that it's what he wanted - not necessarily asking me to) , and I told him he was crazy for wanting to settle so young.. and that I wouldn't be at that point for along time. THEN, I pushed for just a friendship because I really, really enjoyed his company.. and he told me NO! That he already had as many friends as he needed and didn't need anymore friends and that he wasn't into me from just a friendship standpoint. It really hurt my feelers actually. So ya, it kinda disolved from there. Sure enough, he friended me on FB about 3 years ago and makes it a point to "like" and comment on every dam thing I say or do. I was just trying to figure out his intentions without making an ass of myself =P

Ask him?

As a side note, if he didn't ask you to have his kids, he probably was just telling you his vision for the future. We have problems with the whole right time/place thing.

Double side note: I only like most or all of someones statuses when I like them that way.

 

[jimrckhnd]

Short answer: I don't flirt unless I'm serious - or really, really know the person (and am very comfy) in which case I'm doing some serious kidding around with them.

That doesn't mean, however, I always took it much further: when I was younger I had alot of trouble taking the next step. I always had issues with not feeling all that attractive/likable and was worried about rejection and I had trouble knowing HOW to take the next step. I know I spent alot of time feeling wretched when I didn't have to and I probably confused a few women. With age and experience however I learned how to make decisions and take risks with incomplete data and I learned that fear of rejection is often 1) misplaced and 2) often worse than rejection itself. Now, if anything, I have the opposite problem: I can be a bit of kamikaze believing that “a faint heart never won a maiden fair”. Of course the frequency of flirting went down as I got older and more discriminating about who I flirted with (I started figuring out who I stood a chance with and who was just going to be unhealthy).

 

[Anew Leaf]

Do INTP's flirst with people for long periods of time without ever having any real intention of it progressing?

Just curious =)

Wait... INTPs... flirt?! Are you sure this guy isn't actually an ENTP?





P.S. I am kidding... I just couldn't resist making a joke....

 

[Stigmata]

I tried to flirt.....once



.....Just once. It didn't end well, at all. Hot coffee was hurled in my general direction, and let's just say I had to mimic the maneuver Keanu Reeves used in the matrix to dodge bullets as a method to protect myself.

 

[Santosha]

Wait... INTPs... flirt?!

I really should clarify this. I have never observed INTP's flirt in the traditional sense. Maybe that is just my experience, but from what I've seen, it seems that INTP's are highly uncomfortable putting on any kind of facade, revealing emotions or gushy sentimentalism. It seems to be inauthentic to them, and probably IS per inferior Fe. Just a guess though. When I see an INTP flirt, what I am referring to is more of a coming out of their cave and showing a marked interest in someone with various comments of subtle endearment masked through cynacism and wit. Again, just a guess *shrugs*.

What I'd really like to know is, is it possible for the INTP to EVER let go of that cynicism and wit? Will they ever allow themselves to be vulnerable or understand the value in demonstrating raw emotion and affection?

 

[Simi]

But would the INTP flirt just to flirt is my point.

I had an INTP that had no interest in me, but totally flirted and mislead me.
He flirts just to flirt.. So yes, at least SOME of them do.
It probably differs from person to person.

A young INTP might lead someone on and not care about the ramifications of that.

^^^^^^^^^

 

[Jessica]

What I'd really like to know is, is it possible for the INTP to EVER let go of that cynicism and wit? Will they ever allow themselves to be vulnerable or understand the value in demonstrating raw emotion and affection?

Yes on vulnerability, possibly on understanding. I don't understand the value in it, but I definitely allow myself to be very emotionally vulnerable. Probably too much. Not all INTPs are the same, obviously, and the average amount of gush-time for me is sixteen days in a relationship... but I'd say the average is considerably longer*– i.e. 3-6 months.

 

[INTP]

Will they ever allow themselves to be vulnerable or understand the value in demonstrating raw emotion and affection?

yes. but maybe not too raw negative emotions, i still dont see any point in yelling and screaming, instead id rather talk calmly and pretty much the same way if i were explaining something else with the usual Ti way. positive emotions.. well ill give you hugs and kisses and say how awesome you are