[INTJ] INTJ's! How do I develp my Ni better?!!

[Evo]

Do I just sit alone, in a clean well lit place (oh hemingway )
For days?
Are there days that you interact with no one all day long or somthing?
When I'm around people should I just shut up and listen only, then say "mmhhmm" or somehting?? gahh! the depths of an introvert!!!!
How do you understand your Ni?

 

[WhoCares]

It's not a doing thing its a being thing. I can be around other people and in the midst of society but I am simply not fully there. My existence is a vague sense of the world around me and a vivid sense of the internal world within me. I am only drawn forth when my inner and outer worlds intersect. You'd really have to develop a strong inner world and make it priority over the outer world.

So saying that I'm not obliviious to the outer world. Many people perceive me as such, I am taking in its details and quietly cataloguing them in a process which isn't even apparent to myself. Its not unusual for me to realise hours after an event and suddenly go aha! When that person said that, it really meant this, and now I've got it all figured out. I astound even myself with the myriad details I do pick up in the day. A lot of people find me rude because I do not need to fully focus them to hear what they are saying, process it and have a conversation with them. They assume that because I am not directy looking at them or staring into their eyes that I am not getting their meaning. But this is indicative of how I go about the day, I am focused on one thing or another yet can also multi-task and take in lots of other information around me at the same time.

My inner world is a bit like one of those noisy carousels, where things are moving up and down, around and round and some noise of other is playing in the background. I can focus on every element all at the same time and this makes sense to me even though to someone else the busyness if it all would be a jumble. The outer world is like the kiddies that jump on and off, scream and laugh and interact with the carousel as it goes about its thing.

 

[Evo]

It's not a doing thing its a being thing. I can be around other people and in the midst of society but I am simply not fully there. My existence is a vague sense of the world around me and a vivid sense of the internal world within me. I am only drawn forth when my inner and outer worlds intersect. You'd really have to develop a strong inner world and make it priority over the outer world.

So saying that I'm not obliviious to the outer world. Many people perceive me as such, I am taking in its details and quietly cataloguing them in a process which isn't even apparent to myself. Its not unusual for me to realise hours after an event and suddenly go aha! When that person said that, it really meant this, and now I've got it all figured out. I astound even myself with the myriad details I do pick up in the day. A lot of people find me rude because I do not need to fully focus them to hear what they are saying, process it and have a conversation with them. They assume that because I am not directy looking at them or staring into their eyes that I am not getting their meaning. But this is indicative of how I go about the day, I am focused on one thing or another yet can also multi-task and take in lots of other information around me at the same time.

My inner world is a bit like one of those noisy carousels, where things are moving up and down, around and round and some noise of other is playing in the background. I can focus on every element all at the same time and this makes sense to me even though to someone else the busyness if it all would be a jumble. The outer world is like the kiddies that jump on and off, scream and laugh and interact with the carousel as it goes about its thing.

hmm, I wish I knew what it felt like to use Ni, I am so bad at identifying the way the functions feel like.
Well, I guess I mean, I know that I use Ni, but I don't know how to conciously sit there and use it.

^ like right there...I knew what I meant but didn't know how to say it, is that Ni coming out ...or just dumb Te lol?
Do you sense yourself using Ni and Fi as a pair usually? That's what it sounds like when you're talking about your inner world to me.

The part of introversion that is problematic for me is that I don't know how you guys 1) Remember what you're going to say...my thoughts are like...fleeting ha ha...and 2) How you stay active in a convo...especially when you dont like the other person. Like my inner monologue starts to just hold on to the important points i'm going to make and then obsess about them so that i don't forget then i question whether or not I should even say them...like "will this sounds stupid" or "is this even relevant" stuff like that..

 

[WhoCares]

The part of introversion that is problematic for me is that I don't know how you guys 1) Remember what you're going to say...my thoughts are like...fleeting ha ha...and 2) How you stay active in a convo...especially when you dont like the other person. Like my inner monologue starts to just hold on to the important points i'm going to make and then obsess about them so that i don't forget then i question whether or not I should even say them...like "will this sounds stupid" or "is this even relevant" stuff like that..

Well you're assuming that I am consciously thinking aout what I'm going to say before I say it. The truth is, most of the time shit just spills out and then after the fact when I've heard what I just said it's either...Wow that was a poignant thing to say or Really? Did I just say that? No wonder people hate me.

My only advantage is that my Se is constantly filtering and just grabbing the imporant points. So when someone says something I get Blah, blah, blah...this is important...blah, blah, blah. I seem to be able to get the nuts of a conversation without all the emoting and other stuff which just confuses the issue.
Of course that ability is also what doesn't endear me to a lot of people. Say for example when someone's in an emotional twist and all they really want is emotional validation. I'm there seeking out the underlying issue and offering advice on that, which just pisses a feeler off most of the time as they didn't want that. At the same time I cant see the point if emotional validation and tend to refer that person to someone who does.

 

[Oaky]

If you want a method to develop your Ni you can practice a mindfulness of perception.

Focus upon an object or situation and review what you understand about it. Perceive it multiple times before you move on. Try to see if you are able to constantly shift what view in the same object or situation.

 

[Evo]

Well you're assuming that I am consciously thinking aout what I'm going to say before I say it. The truth is, most of the time shit just spills out and then after the fact when I've heard what I just said it's either...Wow that was a poignant thing to say or Really? Did I just say that? No wonder people hate me.

My only advantage is that my Se is constantly filtering and just grabbing the imporant points. So when someone says something I get Blah, blah, blah...this is important...blah, blah, blah. I seem to be able to get the nuts of a conversation without all the emoting and other stuff which just confuses the issue.
Of course that ability is also what doesn't endear me to a lot of people. Say for example when someone's in an emotional twist and all they really want is emotional validation. I'm there seeking out the underlying issue and offering advice on that, which just pisses a feeler off most of the time as they didn't want that. At the same time I cant see the point if emotional validation and tend to refer that person to someone who does.

Yea I have dealt a lot with that- both sides- when younger, not giving validation, when older, looking for validation. I've pretty much started to realize the balance needed for me. I don't need external validation as much anymore unless it's unconcious, and I can give it pretty easily...I like to sway people by appeasing them, doing nothing wrong, being the amazing friend I am, and then making sure I have a work force later...in loyalty tee he he...

Sounds terrible actually...now that I put it into words...damn

But on the other point...I don't like getting advice or criticism without asking for it. And I either do ask for it or let it come to me, or i will say i'm not looking for advice or criticism lol

If you want a method to develop your Ni you can practice a mindfulness of perception.

Focus upon an object or situation and review what you understand about it. Perceive it multiple times before you move on. Try to see if you are able to constantly shift what view in the same object or situation.

Do you mean seeing all sides of an argument? like without forming judgements or opinions about it? If so I guess I can try that...how do I know when to move on? lol
I get confused because Ni is supposed to be subjective right?

 

[Oaky]

Do you mean seeing all sides of an argument? like without forming judgements or opinions about it? If so I guess I can try that...how do I know when to move on? lol
I get confused because Ni is supposed to be subjective right?

Yes, if the argument is your focus. Moving on is simply backing up the viewpoints with a structured protocol which would be Te. Or you can simply have a discussion of the different ways to see the situation. Ni is subjective, yes, but it is perceptive and therefore it holds to our own ways of viewing what the object 'could be'. That we are changing our mental perception of the object in different ways makes it subjective.

 

[Evo]

hmm I'm going to have to ignore that part of me that wants conclusions...bahh....this could be harder than I thought...I have not been using Ni conciously at all...

So if I'm having a convo with someone..am I just supposed to say what I percieve about the subject in a factual manner...right?