[INTJ] INTJ's and Online Dating Sites

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

Ok so, I'm currently on this dating site, right? Why do I feel the overpowering urge to put a disclaimer at the top of my profile that says 'I'm an INTJ' lol

Do these sites really work? Especially for an INTJ, where the length of time it takes to get to know someone tends to be very long, but the expectation on the site is to 'find that right person, right now'.

Are these really a good option for an INTJ?

 

[GargoylesLegacy]

Hrm, I actually went to quite a few Dating Sites and they never really worked for me. Mostly because it is "so obvious" there. What I mean is..People go there on Purpose to find Love and that isn't such a good Idea, since true Love mostly happens "unexpected".
IDK, many People in there are also very dishonest and look for Sex only. I am not a Fan of it.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Ok so, I'm currently on this dating site, right? Why do I feel the overpowering urge to put a disclaimer at the top of my profile that says 'I'm an INTJ' lol

Do these sites really work? Especially for an INTJ, where the length of time it takes to get to know someone tends to be very long, but the expectation on the site is to 'find that right person, right now'.

Are these really a good option for an INTJ?

I think they are a good option, only because it gives you a chance to craft your first impression. If most INTJs are anything like me, first impressions are usually disasters.

 

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

I can usually do a first impression... except that no matter how 'obvious' I think I'm being about my interest it just doesn't come across that way. At best I get a level of 'respect' that I don't usually ask for.

I dunno, its hard to explain. Its as if the only guys who I ever end up dating are the ones who are so OVER confident (and often assinine) that they don't care about my seeming lack of interest and pursue me. The nicer guys who need more reassurance end up dismissing me.

 

[ed111]

Ok so, I'm currently on this dating site, right? Why do I feel the overpowering urge to put a disclaimer at the top of my profile that says 'I'm an INTJ' lol

Do these sites really work? Especially for an INTJ, where the length of time it takes to get to know someone tends to be very long, but the expectation on the site is to 'find that right person, right now'.

Are these really a good option for an INTJ?

I think they're a good idea. I used them and managed to get a load of dates with women I probably wouldn't have met via a normal social situation. I think they work particularly well for INTJs, as it gives us time to talk about ourselves and find out about others via email (this is routine for an INTJ, as opposed to social dialogue which may be difficult for us). You can then progress to IMs, phone calls and eventually arrange a date.

 

[The Ü™]

Dating sites have never worked for me. Most of the emails and winks I get are spam (often from different regions).

 

[runvardh]

I can usually do a first impression... except that no matter how 'obvious' I think I'm being about my interest it just doesn't come across that way. At best I get a level of 'respect' that I don't usually ask for.

I dunno, its hard to explain. Its as if the only guys who I ever end up dating are the ones who are so OVER confident (and often assinine) that they don't care about my seeming lack of interest and pursue me. The nicer guys who need more reassurance end up dismissing me.

What dating site are you using

 

[Synarch]

INTJ's need friends who like to play match-maker.

 

[Anonymous]

INTJ's need friends who like to play match-maker.

Hell, I'd take one of those myself.

 

[Synarch]

I enjoy setting people up. It's like a biology experiment. Also, it's sometimes easier to be more confident approaching people if it's for a friend rather than for yourself.

 

[Wild horses]

I am not an INTJ and I have never been on one of these sites LOL so excuse my presence but I just wanted to join in anyway.. I have a really good friend who met his current girlfriend on a dating site and although they get on very well together they seem to have more of a 'friendship' than a romantic connection. They are very compatible ie they have lots of the same interests and seem to have a similar personality style but it seems to lack a little spice to be honest with you and I have spoken to him about his feelings for her and he seems to be very luke warm which is unusual for him. I am not saying it is because they met on a dating website this is ancedotal but has put me off them!

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Dating sites have never worked for me. Most of the emails and winks I get are spam (often from different regions).

Maybe this is why dating sites never work for you...

Holy crap, I just got an email from someone from True.com. This time from a Catholic blond. She had no picture of herself, but she is from the same county as I am. I can only guess that she's a typical American preppy whore. She was creepy as hell. Can't respond to the email because I don't have the money to pay for the site.

I don't know if creepy is the word to describe it. But the message read, "hey [Überführer], whats up? so, my name is [edited out]. wanna talk and get to know each other?"

No one has ever asked me that before, so while the message is not that creepy, the fact that she tried to contact me indicates that she is probably creepy.

 

[Amargith]

I don't do matchmaking but I did use to play for cataclyst. My shy female friend would see a guy she deemed hot but wasn't sure how to get his attention. I'd come up with a way to talk to him, introduce the two, and excuse myself to go to the restroom. By the end of the evening, they were usually a couple


On the other hand, I've met most of my bf's online (I like to date geeks), and it is really one of the best ways to meet other people, in my experience. Dating sites I've never done, but I can see it appealing to the INTJ's efficiency. You instantly know what you're going to get, as their personalities and interests are usually very well advertized

 

[The Ü™]

Maybe this is why dating sites never work for you...

I still don't see any reason why they wouldn't work for me. (Other than the fact they're not free.)

 

[runvardh]

INTJ's need friends who like to play match-maker.

I think there are a few types who could use that...

 

[ThatGirl]

I don't trust online dating. Gives people too much time to present ideal responses. I have to be able to Ne someone before I can asses. Without that its a waist of time IMO.


That said I've heard INTJs prefer one on one time to get to know people so I don't know how it would work for them. Possibility. Just be careful.

And last if you want to head your profile with I'm an INTJ go for it. I was laughing with INTJ friend of mine talking about walking around wearing type name tags. Surely ENTPs would wear them on their ass.

 

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

I don't do matchmaking but I did use to play for cataclyst. My shy female friend would see a guy she deemed hot but wasn't sure how to get his attention. I'd come up with a way to talk to him, introduce the two, and excuse myself to go to the restroom. By the end of the evening, they were usually a couple


On the other hand, I've met most of my bf's online (I like to date geeks), and it is really one of the best ways to meet other people, in my experience. Dating sites I've never done, but I can see it appealing to the INTJ's efficiency. You instantly know what you're going to get, as their personalities and interests are usually very well advertized

Well advertised is definately true. There just seems to be something about it that I love/hate, both equally and at the same time. The organizing side of me likes the fact that these 'personalities' are supposed to mesh with mine (its one of those sites that grills you intensively on personality questions when you sign up)... but sometimes I can't help but feeling like I'm flipping through a catalog looking for a nice pair of shoes or something lol. I feel like I'm holding each match up to me going 'Hrm. How would this look with those jeans'. Its so... disconnected and cold.

I'm a bit of a romantic on the inside, despite the exterior... but I have serious doubts about actually being able to find someone in this way. The expectation of 'we're going to date' once the conversations start kind of scares me lol. I don't have that usual time to process and get to know the person WITHOUT them trying to impress me (which is where the real stuff is usually at) so I feel like I'm ... (ugh) missing a lot of 'data' at the onset.

 

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

What dating site are you using

SO not telling

 

[runvardh]

Well advertised is definately true. There just seems to be something about it that I love/hate, both equally and at the same time. The organizing side of me likes the fact that these 'personalities' are supposed to mesh with mine (its one of those sites that grills you intensively on personality questions when you sign up)... but sometimes I can't help but feeling like I'm flipping through a catalog looking for a nice pair of shoes or something lol. I feel like I'm holding each match up to me going 'Hrm. How would this look with those jeans'. Its so... disconnected and cold.

I'm a bit of a romantic on the inside, despite the exterior... but I have serious doubts about actually being able to find someone in this way. The expectation of 'we're going to date' once the conversations start kind of scares me lol. I don't have that usual time to process and get to know the person WITHOUT them trying to impress me (which is where the real stuff is usually at) so I feel like I'm ... (ugh) missing a lot of 'data' at the onset.

So you're looking for the ones who aren't trying, but rather are just going about themselves however. Right?

 

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

So you're looking for the ones who aren't trying, but rather are just going about themselves however. Right?

Yeah I guess thats about right. People who fall straight into 'infatuation' with someone they've just met and start making all these plans without knowing them at all kind of weirds me out.