[SP] Instant Wit

[stellar renegade]

Any other SPs able to make witty retorts or comments, at least in certain moments?

The other night my coworker was talking to this chick in another aisle and said that we didn't have the large jars of pickles anymore. He's kinda random so he looked toward me and said, "Justin knows all about that." I suddenly felt a moment of pure enlightenment, so I said, "Yeah, they don't allow the big pickles here anymore. Some pickles are just too big." My coworker visibly stifled laughter at this and she said, "Well why not? Is there any way I can get some?" So I said, "Well if you write down your name and number for me I'm sure your request can be fulfilled." And she was just like, "Whaaaat?" in shock. So I explained how if we don't have an item in stock anymore the manager likes us to write down peoples' info so we can maybe start ordering it, to which she relaxed again. :yim_rolling_on_the_

I also came up with a brilliant response to the played-out question, "Are you working hard or hardly working?" Before I knew what I was saying I quipped, "I'm working hard and it's hardly working!" And then said, "Wow, that was good. I gotta start using that!"

I'm sure you guys have plenty of examples. DO TELL!

 

[Jaguar]

HAPPY BIDET! hahaha.

 

[Oaky]

HAPPY BIDET! hahaha.

:yim_rolling_on_the_
+1 for reference from other thread

 

[Jaguar]

^ HAHAHA.

 

[stellar renegade]

haha. ok, enough.

 

[man]

ya, except for when I'm drunk.

 

[stellar renegade]

I don't think my wit really diminishes that much when I'm drunk except I'm probably sillier. Apparently I can sing and scat sing pretty well, though. And my dancing is par excellance.

 

[Poki]

I can do witty, but I am much better at smart ass comments. It depends on if I am in the playful mood or the smart ass mood. I will have to try and pay attention to my comments so I can remember them and post them.

 

[6sticks]

Probably 35% of what I say is witty retorts.

 

[wolfy]

Often. I get this huge urge to walk away after.

 

[mattness]

i cant think of examples but i'm generally just hilarious. people want to be me but they cant admit it. you feel me??

 

[The_Matrix]

Stressful moment in the boss's office at work. Three of us in the office, me, a coworker 'John', and the boss

John: "Boss, so why did I get yelled at today?"
Boss: "Because, John, some of the other employees complained about you being disrespectful towards them. You need to work on your people skills, especially if you want to be promoted into another department. If you don't get this fixed these are the kind of things that can really come back to bite you in the ass."

A moment of tense and awkward silence

Me: "Sometimes getting bit in the ass can be a good thing. You know, I was watching this documentary about monkeys on the Discovery Channel..."

Boss smiles and pats me on the shoulder while John glares angrily at me

 

[stellar renegade]

Often. I get this huge urge to walk away after.

haha! know what ya mean, bro!

i cant think of examples but i'm generally just hilarious. people want to be me but they cant admit it. you feel me??

yeah, I get it. Like they kinda think you're crazy and don't want to admit being that entranced by someone but can't help but stick around. People are constantly on the lookout for me. If I ever venture off alone, when I come back I always hear, "So where have you been?"

I love it and hate it at the same time. I love having adoring fans around every corner but at the same time people kinda get addicted and it can make you feel somewhat guilty when you leave one place for another. Every new friend I make either wants me to live near them or to move with me.

Stressful moment in the boss's office at work. Three of us in the office, me, a coworker 'John', and the boss

John: "Boss, so why did I get yelled at today?"
Boss: "Because, John, some of the other employees complained about you being disrespectful towards them. You need to work on your people skills, especially if you want to be promoted into another department. If you don't get this fixed these are the kind of things that can really come back to bite you in the ass."

A moment of tense and awkward silence

Me: "Sometimes getting bit in the ass can be a good thing. You know, I was watching this documentary about monkeys on the Discovery Channel..."

Boss smiles and pats me on the shoulder while John glares angrily at me

haha! A+ I love dispelling awkward moments like that. :yim_rolling_on_the_

I have some of the most fun with that because it's great being the one person who doesn't feel the tension and being able to just cooly ease the pressure at will.

There was another time where one of our coworkers (ESFJ) was sharing some fancy white chocolate candies with us. For some reason the conversation veered off into something to do with hip-hop or rap, and one of the guys (ISTJ caucasian) made a funny comment about becoming a rapper. I said, "Yeah, and you could call yourself White Chocolate!" Everyone burst into laughter for like five minutes.

 

[wolfy]

haha! know what ya mean, bro!

I was talking with Kingfisher about it the other day. When the joke really hits big I just need to move. Maybe that's why Rodney Dangerfield always played with his tie.

 

[Jeffster]

I was talking with Kingfisher about it the other day. When the joke really hits big I just need to move. Maybe that's why Rodney Dangerfield always played with his tie.

Yeah I think I tend to punch my hand or pop my fingers or some kind of hand movement. Sometimes like a fake karate chop or something. Then I re-live it in my head several times. I don't think the non-SPs understand that we can keep a buzz off one moment like that for a while.

 

[mcmartinez84]

Yeah I think I tend to punch my hand or pop my fingers or some kind of hand movement. Sometimes like a fake karate chop or something. Then I re-live it in my head several times. I don't think the non-SPs understand that we can keep a buzz off one moment like that for a while.

I relive the moments and totally buzz on witty/smartass comments I make. Sometimes I "relive" them right after they happen and I can giggle for quite awhile over them! I make myself laugh a lot.

 

[Poki]

They come natural to me and they can come so often and easily that I can really frustrate people sometimes.

Last night
Me: "I would love to be a vampire, then I would have all the time in the world to learn everything"
Wife: "But then you would have to watch everyone around you die"
Me: "There all gonna die either way"

Its morbid and my wife gave me this look, but I was never one to worry about how I will feel because I am am never able to predict how I will feel.

 

[Dali]

Probably 35% of what I say is witty retorts.

Same thing with my ISTP brother.

Unfortunately, a lot of the time, his retorts tend to be fairly insulting and I'm left helping to smooth down whatever feathers he's just ruffled.

 

[Fluffywolf]

I'm witty like, all the time. People just rarily see and understand it.

 

[Poki]

I'm witty like, all the time. People just rarily see and understand it.

Being an IP sometimes we go a little to deep and have to explain:rolli: I can be in a room full of people and only a few get it.