[INFP] INFP's, be honest.

[GirlFromMars]

I have a few questions for INFP's, in an attempt to analyze myself some more and more, etc. And instead of starting seperate threads, I'm going to ask them in here.


1. Do you think you're sometimes more selfish, mean, and less lovey-dovey than what people think us to be?

2. Do you infact have a pretty dark side, which find a lot of people and things shallow, and unlikeable, and you'd like to stick pins in their eyes? But you wouldn't actually do it, because you are pretty nice realllyyy?

3. Do you feel frustrated towards people that don't care about things that really matter? Do you get frustrated at those that seems to only care about sports, clothes, and their hair?

4. Do you often feel lonely?

5. Do you get random ideas in the middle of the night, and you get so exicted thinking about doing it tomorrow, but then tomorrow comes and you're not excited about it anymore, thus don't do it?

6. Do you consider yourself unique?

7. Do you literally feel other people's pain?

8. Are you a bit (or a lot) of a music snob?

9. Have you had people you've never met before tell you their life-story?

10. Do you think the world would be a bit better with more INFP's?!

May be continued...

 

[nolla]

1. Do you think you're sometimes more selfish, mean, and less lovey-dovey than what people think us to be?

Oh, I am selfish. I'm just selfish in a way that is rarely seen as selfishness. But I'm not mean, and my lovey-doveyness is more like an occasional state. Usually I am at peace.

2. Do you infact have a pretty dark side, which find a lot of people and things shallow, and unlikeable, and you'd like to stick pins in their eyes? But you wouldn't actually do it, because you are pretty nice realllyyy?

I used to have such a side. It doesn't pop up that often anymore.

3. Do you feel frustrated towards people that don't care about things that really matter? Do you get frustrated at those that seems to only care about sports, clothes, and their hair?

Nah, they are just human. Again, I used to hate all of the sporty alpha males, but that was a long time ago.

4. Do you often feel lonely?

No

5. Do you get random ideas in the middle of the night, and you get so exicted thinking about doing it tomorrow, but then tomorrow comes and you're not excited about it anymore, thus don't do it?

I write them down and sometimes they end up in short movies.

6. Do you consider yourself unique?

Yes. Most people are.

7. Do you literally feel other people's pain?

I think it's more like I remember my own pain when I see someone in similar pain.

8. Are you a bit (or a lot) of a music snob?

Yeah, a bit. Why would I listen to bad music?

9. Have you had people you've never met before tell you their life-story?

Sometimes. Not often.

10. Do you think the world would be a bit better with more INFP's?!

I think it's tolerable the way it is. If there were more infps, we would have a serious problem with random silliness.

 

[Snuggletron]

yay myspace bulletin survey!


1. Do you think you're sometimes more selfish, mean, and less lovey-dovey than what people think us to be?
yeah.

2. Do you infact have a pretty dark side, which find a lot of people and things shallow, and unlikeable, and you'd like to stick pins in their eyes? But you wouldn't actually do it, because you are pretty nice realllyyy?
quite so.

3. Do you feel frustrated towards people that don't care about things that really matter? Do you get frustrated at those that seems to only care about sports, clothes, and their hair?
sometimes...but people are going to do what they want.

4. Do you often feel lonely?
yes. Usually at night. 8<

5. Do you get random ideas in the middle of the night, and you get so exicted thinking about doing it tomorrow, but then tomorrow comes and you're not excited about it anymore, thus don't do it?
it's happened a lot, but not always at night.

6. Do you consider yourself unique?
no.

7. Do you literally feel other people's pain?
usually not.

8. Are you a bit (or a lot) of a music snob?
very much so.

9. Have you had people you've never met before tell you their life-story?
I think so. I don't like it.

10. Do you think the world would be a bit better with more INFP's?!
no.

 

[Snuggletron]

double toast.

 

[erm]

1. Do you think you're sometimes more selfish, mean, and less lovey-dovey than what people think us to be?

Yes. I'd replace "sometimes" with "always".

2. Do you infact have a pretty dark side, which find a lot of people and things shallow, and unlikeable, and you'd like to stick pins in their eyes? But you wouldn't actually do it, because you are pretty nice realllyyy?

Yes.

3. Do you feel frustrated towards people that don't care about things that really matter? Do you get frustrated at those that seems to only care about sports, clothes, and their hair?

No.

4. Do you often feel lonely?

No.

5. Do you get random ideas in the middle of the night, and you get so excited thinking about doing it tomorrow, but then tomorrow comes and you're not excited about it anymore, thus don't do it?

Yes. All the time.

6. Do you consider yourself unique?

Unique but not exceptional. I do have that inner narcissist though.

7. Do you literally feel other people's pain?

Occasionally. I always try to imagine what it would be like to be in their position, if only briefly, even if the person is fictional.

8. Are you a bit (or a lot) of a music snob?

No.

9. Have you had people you've never met before tell you their life-story?

No. Someone may have at some point, but I don't remember.

10. Do you think the world would be a bit better with more INFP's?!

If I had to guess, no.

 

[Eckhart]

1. Do you think you're sometimes more selfish, mean, and less lovey-dovey than what people think us to be?

I don't know whether this is the same in comparison to my type comrades, I can only speak for myself. Yes, I think I am more selfish sometimes than the type describes. The type description maybe is in the tendency right in comparison to other types, but I definitely think it is a bit exaggerated in many cases.

2. Do you infact have a pretty dark side, which find a lot of people and things shallow, and unlikeable, and you'd like to stick pins in their eyes? But you wouldn't actually do it, because you are pretty nice realllyyy?

I have my dark side, but you know, I have had lots of time to think about myself especially in the last year, and I think I see things clearer now than in the past. And I think I understand why I developed in the way I am now.

I had a very nihilistic attitude to life for some time, which was my hardest time, which is now already some years ago. I totally did not care about most people at school anymore, I was done with them. Had more contacts over internet though, but they all some day ended. But I know the funny picture in one thread here to the different types, and one was "INFP - Nice Nihilists", and I guess it is totally true Even then I was probably still nice to people.

Well, later when the class grew (the seperated classes of one year grow to one big class plus some people from the lower school coming) I met slowly so many good people. Before that already I found my best friend. My attitude to life slowly became more positive again, even fell in love to one person, and I was so much happier then. Then however I had a few bad events in my life in a relative short time span, and it again threw me out of the line. People seemed to notice that I became more negative again and seemed to be drawn away from me. Stupidly that happened in the last year at school, and so I became more lonely and more negative when I left school. The second worst time of my life.

But now, with all the time to think about things, I am again in very positive attitude to life. I have learned so much about me and other persons and I notice I am really a much better person than I thought of myself, and there are other people which think the same. It is the environment and many random events in combination with my own personality which alienated me from myself. I did not know my qualities, although I somehow noticed them, but all very blurry. And that I felt sometimes drawn to the dark side is just more something of a mystical thing, but not really something which I belong to. It is all about the strong emotions which even the dark side may have, and they are sometimes pure - it is the false/artifical emotions which I don't like.

But I never really wanted to do harm to people, even though in angryness I probably wanted to hurt people emotionally.

Sorry for the long text to this question, I abused it probably to reflect things for my own.

3. Do you feel frustrated towards people that don't care about things that really matter? Do you get frustrated at those that seems to only care about sports, clothes, and their hair?

Oh, yes. I really have a problem with that very superficial attitudes. However, it is not like I have a problem when people SOMETIMES deal with that things, it is the people which do it ALL THE TIME and then try to convince other people to think the same.

I love football for example, and also some other ordinary things. But I could never live only with them, I would lack of something essential.

4. Do you often feel lonely?

Yes.

5. Do you get random ideas in the middle of the night, and you get so exicted thinking about doing it tomorrow, but then tomorrow comes and you're not excited about it anymore, thus don't do it?

Yes, happens often enough.

6. Do you consider yourself unique?

Yes.

7. Do you literally feel other people's pain?

When people are close to me, I do. People which are not close to me: not that much. People which I don't like: no.

8. Are you a bit (or a lot) of a music snob?

A bit I don't attack people for what they hear, I will not die when I hear something I don't like, but I really don't have a sense for hip-hop and much of the mainstream stuff.

9. Have you had people you've never met before tell you their life-story?

No. Not even my friends seem to tell me their life-story, but then again I had mostly introverted friends.

10. Do you think the world would be a bit better with more INFP's?!

Depends on what you think about "more" I think it would be good when there would be more idealists and less egoists, especially in politics. However, world would sure become boring when all people would be like me. I think all people have more or less their use in this world, even the stupid fuck I would never want to talk a word with - people wouldn't develop their personality if they would be protected from all bad things.

edit: And of course, we seem to be no doers, so we would probably get lost without the others

 

[neptunesnet]

Do you think you're sometimes more selfish, mean, and less lovey-dovey than what people think us to be?

Short answer: yes.

I think I'm more selfish in the "I don't want to do this and you can't make me" way, which to some *coughJscough* makes me just the worst kind of person. But, I'd honestly rather spend my energy doing something I care about instead of trying to satisify everyone.

I don't think I'd ever be mistaken for lovey-dovey. In a relationship, I'm admittedly rather touchy and affectionate once we've passed a certain point in our relationship, but not lovey dovey. Makes me want to gargle salt water or something.

Do you in fact have a pretty dark side, which find a lot of people and things shallow, and unlikeable, and you'd like to stick pins in their eyes? But you wouldn't actually do it, because you are pretty nice realllyyy?

INFPs somehow manage to encompass both extremes of an emotion and explore it and what it means. That translates to our going between extreme joy and lightness to intense melancholy and sadness. I tend to attribute this to Fi. It is both, in the words of Jaguar, a "bullshit detector" and can distinguish from superficiality and genuinity fairly easily. This would also explain why if I happen to call someone out because they're being idiotic or absurd everyone's shocked: But neptune is always so nice and sweet and free-spirited. Whatever.



Do you feel frustrated towards people that don't care about things that really matter? Do you get frustrated at those that seems to only care about sports, clothes, and their hair?

Yes and yes.

I try not to take it personally, but in my mind when I'm hurt over something that I feel is a fundamental problem to my "big cause" everyone is just a brute. In later years I've found that people respect me and my values more if I have more of a logical basis behind my opinions. It's frustrating and tedious for me to have to do extensive research to "prove" on some political, social, economic, or global level something that I already know is morally right.

I have a certain degree of pity for people who's most pressing concern is their car or their hair or their clothing. If those things were the only components central to my life, then I'd be a very sad and empty woman.

Do you often feel lonely?

Yes and no.

I'm alone a lot, which I enjoy and would prefer for right now, but I really only feel lonely when I'm in public or in big crowds of people. Occasionally I miss relatives, old friends, people I used to know, etc. when I'm feeling especially sentimental but that's not too often.

Do you get random ideas in the middle of the night, and you get so exicted thinking about doing it tomorrow, but then tomorrow comes and you're not excited about it anymore, thus don't do it?

The ongoing joke amongst my group of friends is that I'm an owl. I have an irregular sleeping schedule during the weekdays (up at odd hours of the nights) because I focus the best at night.

I hate that I lose excitement over things overnight. I blame sleep!
It feels good while you're having it, but it never fails to wake you up to the reality that is your life .

Do you consider yourself unique?

Honestly, no.

I wish I had some admirable quality that would make me pop like a red shoe, but I stick out in all the wrong ways. I'm pretty weird. I'd trade the weirdness for the unique any day.

Do you literally feel other people's pain?

Despite how many eyes are going to roll when I answer this, yes. I do.

It's one of the main reasons why I hate large crowds. I generally have trouble explaining this, but I'll try here anyway. When I interact with someone I get a good sense of how they're feeling. It's easier to cope on an one-on-one situation. However, if I'm surrounded by hundreds of people at a time like at a concert or walking downtown I become hypersensitive and it's really difficult for me not to withdraw because I unconsciously take on other people's emotions.

It's also probably why my conscience is so acute. I've felt so much pain in my own life that I wouldn't wish the same on anyone else. I'd like to try to prevent that sort of suffering from becoming widespread.

Are you a bit (or a lot) of a music snob?

Oh yeah.

My friends hate me.



Have you had people you've never met before tell you their life-story?



Yes!

I must have "empathizer" stamped across my forehead or something.

Do you think the world would be a bit better with more INFP's?!

No, not necessarily. I believe there's reason why they're so few of us.

Plus, if INFPs ruled the world nothing would ever get anything done! Ever.

 

[TopherRed]

NFPs somehow manage to encompass both extremes of an emotion and explore it and what it means. That translates to our going between extreme joy and lightness to intense melancholy and sadness. I tend to attribute this to Fi. It is both, in the words of Jaguar, a "bullshit detector" and can distinguish from superficiality and genuinity fairly eailsy. This would also explain why if I happen to call someone out because they're being idiotic or absurd everyone is shocked: But neptune is nice and sweet and freespirited.

I bet this is hell on Fe-leads. We automatically seek to conform to the emotional standard in the room. When a Fi-dom goes all nutso to see if the Fe-dom is for real, the Fe-dom ends up going on quite an unwanted, and reactive roller coaster ride until they plant their tent stake in the ground and end up going emo-neutral until the Fi-storm ends.

In other words, that's probably not a great method to use on us if you plan on keeping us as friends. You don't have Ni though...so I don't really know what else you'd use.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I like these questions

1. Do you think you're sometimes more selfish, mean, and less lovey-dovey than what people think us to be?

Yes....but I do have a gentle, caring side. I think more nice things, feel warmer emotions, and have more concern for people than I express externally. It was not until I examined my behavior and motivations that I could see myself as a feeler though, because I'm also self-absorbed, temperamental/snappy, and not a people-pleaser. I admit I can come of as crabby, stubborn, critical, and aloof.

My mom and sister also told me I am not "romantic" once because I don't like the cheesy stuff they do, but I am romantic, in the true sense of the word. I just hate mushy-gushy stuff, and that can make me seem unsentimental when I am sentimental. Affection actually makes me feel very vulnerable, so I have to feel very safe and comfortable with someone before I go there.

2. Do you in fact have a pretty dark side, which find a lot of people and things shallow, and unlikeable, and you'd like to stick pins in their eyes? But you wouldn't actually do it, because you are pretty nice realllyyy?

Yes, haha. I very much have feelings of disdain, but they are quieted down by my desire to understand different perspectives and give people the benefit of the doubt. This side of me comes into the light most when I'm contrasted with a T friend, such as many INTPs I've known. I think I struggle to stay idealistic and not become cynical, but it's the dashed idealism that leads to those feelings of contempt towards people. I want to think well of people, and they keep letting me down.

3. Do you feel frustrated towards people that don't care about things that really matter? Do you get frustrated at those that seems to only care about sports, clothes, and their hair?

Sometimes....I don't see myself as being "too serious" but my ISFJ mom has criticized me as being "too dark", telling me "everything doesn't have to be deep" and wondering how she produced such a "deep child". I don't see myself as "deep", but I get bored easily with the style of communication and activities that the people around me prefer. Or even when we enjoy the same things, it stems from very different reasons, and it disappoints me when they are less willing to dig their teeth into the meatier parts.

4. Do you often feel lonely?

I do....I yearn to connect with people, but I withdraw and isolate myself because it feels futile to try at times.

5. Do you get random ideas in the middle of the night, and you get so excited thinking about doing it tomorrow, but then tomorrow comes and you're not excited about it anymore, thus don't do it?

I get a lot of ideas (often at "inconvenient" times) and I give up on them because I realize how much work it will take . I tend to be most creative at night though - I've taken to keeping a notebook by my bed to jot stuff down so I don't forget it. Sometimes it's just a phrase or whatever.

6. Do you consider yourself unique?

Yes and no. I'm the typical atypical INFP

My motivation is to self-express, to reveal my identity, not to form an identity in relation to others. This means I may not seem unique in comparison, or I might seem very different, because my ideas are rather isolated while forming & I don't consider if it's original or not. Not to say I am not influenced by the external; I very much get inspiration from outside sources, but it's not a conscious decision to fit something already existing, but rather to find things that fit me.

Ever since I was a child, I had a keen sense of being "different" somehow, and people's response to me either confirmed or inspired the feeling. It's hard to know which came first. I enjoyed the idea at first. Being "weird" was good, but you hit an age where it's not, and those experiences affect you. It took me awhile to get back to the place where I could revel in being, well, odd.

7. Do you literally feel other people's pain?

Not really. I feel like I identify it, and often identify with it, but it's not that I experience it in that moment as I would experience my own feeling.

I might compare it to smelling coffee being made, and identifying it as coffee because I know what coffee smells like, and I can vividly imagine tasting it, but I'm not actually tasting it. Of course, it's not nearly that literal or linear of a connection, but you probably get the idea....

8. Are you a bit (or a lot) of a music snob?

Yes, guilty! hahaha.

I'm not as nearly critical as I used to be. I've realized not everyone identifies so strongly with their own tastes, so it's unfair for me to identify them with something that is not very important to them.

9. Have you had people you've never met before tell you their life-story?

ALL THE TIME!!! I feel like I have "THERAPIST" tattooed on my forehead sometimes.

10. Do you think the world would be a bit better with more INFP's?!

Not really. I have this idea that there are less of certain types for a reason. INFPs are very much idea people, but too many ideas and not enough action is not a good recipe. SJs are very populous for good reason, but it's great when they recognize the value of the "rarer" types and listen to their input, instead of just criticizing them for being "different" and not attempting to understand them.

 

[GirlFromMars]

I think it's more like I remember my own pain when I see someone in similar pain.


.

It could be that. But I literally feel it, like it hurts, and I get a sinking feeling in my stomache. Even if I don't like the person, or it's someone in a movie or soap.

Loving these answers, keep 'em coming.

 

[neptunesnet]

I bet this is hell on Fe-leads.

It tends to be. But that's not really our fault.

We automatically seek to conform to the emotional standard in the room.

I don't think conforming was ever our purpose.

When a Fi-dom goes all nutso to see if the Fe-dom is for real, the Fe-dom ends up going on quite an unwanted, and reactive roller coaster ride until they plant their tent stake in the ground and end up going emo-neutral until the Fi-storm ends.

Wait, what?

Fi-doms don't usually Fi-storm unless its pertaining to one of our values being violated. As far as I know, we certainly don't "Fi-storm" every time we come across someone who's fake. That would take way too much energy, and it's not worth it for the most part.

In other words, that's probably not a great method to use on us if you plan on keeping us as friends. You don't have Ni though...so I don't really know what else you'd use.

I don't know what Ni has to do with this.

To clarify, we Fi users don't defy the collective emotions of the group just because. If we are, it's not intentional. We're probably getting a sense that something isn't right about the current situation or that something is false. We can't gloss over those feelings, and in that case ignoring the individual would go against a core belief. We use our Fi to help us judge social situations and to see how the world fits within our own value system. We trust it and what it tells us, like you with your Fe and Ni. We only go "nutso" if we feel something is wrong and is being ignored. Perhaps if the Fe user asked the Fi-dom about the sudden Fi-storm, there wouldn't be miscommunication? By the way, what does Fi "nutso"-ness even mean? What does that look like? I'm intrigued.

 

[TopherRed]

When a Fi user starts going to emotional extremes to "shake you down" for the "truth", to serve the same purpose as Ni in "seeing through vales". That's the impression I got anyway. Is that what you meant?

So uh, yeah, that was totally my bad. Was a knee-jerk reaction.

 

[BlackCat]

A lot of this stuff sounds like enneagram 4 stuff just fyi.

 

[Seymour]

When a Fi user starts going to emotional extremes to "shake you down" for the "truth", to serve the same purpose as Ni in "seeing through vales". That's the impression I got anyway. Is that what you meant?

I just know that there's nothing I hate more than being jerked around...I had a Fi user do that to me once a long long time ago, and as far as I know, I wasn't being fake.

Also, I've discovered a vast majority of INFPs, way more socially healthy than that person. So...my bad, that just hit a nerve... :rolli:

Hmm, I think you can call someone on something without being histrionic about it.

I do think it's tough on Fe users to be put on the spot about being "genuine." From what I understand, Fe users are often aware of the emotions of the group or other person at the expense of being aware of their own emotional state. Their emotional mirroring/participation may not have the same commitment behind it as an Fi user acting in according with deeply held values.

(Note that we INFPs get in trouble by just retreating into passivity rather than openly disagreeing -- that gets read as agreement, sometimes. So not like we are always up-front about making sure our actions mesh with our internal opinions, either.)

Still, I think that an Fe user's emotional mirroring/participation is different from intent to deceive or manipulate. I hope that an Fi user will give the benefit of a doubt where motivation is unclear. Still, calling someone on their behavior is mostly an invitation for them to be direct and explain where they are coming from. Nothing wrong with being direct and assertive where it can lead to clearer communication (and hopefully better understanding in the long run).

 

[GirlFromMars]

A lot of this stuff sounds like enneagram 4 stuff just fyi.

Which part of the stuff?

 

[neptunesnet]

When a Fi user starts going to emotional extremes to "shake you down" for the "truth", to serve the same purpose as Ni in "seeing through vales". That's the impression I got anyway. Is that what you meant?

Well, you got some things wrong. We don't go through emotional extremes for anyone. We're working out our own emotional crap that has nothing to do with anyone else. When we're trying to figure out whether or not we can trust someone, we don't come off as "nutso" so much as fickle. There's definitely a difference. In other words, we don't go through emotional extremes to test other people's trust or loyalty. Those extremes may come in response to someone whom we feel we can't trust, but I don't even understand toying with someone emotionally to see if they will finally "see the light."

Plus, only you ENJs do the "shake down." You're much more assertive that we are. What we do is definitely more stealthy and passive.

I hope that was clearer. If not, PM so we don't derail this thread anymore .

 

[BlackCat]

Which part of the stuff?

This stuff-

1. Do you think you're sometimes more selfish, mean, and less lovey-dovey than what people think us to be?

2. Do you infact have a pretty dark side, which find a lot of people and things shallow, and unlikeable, and you'd like to stick pins in their eyes? But you wouldn't actually do it, because you are pretty nice realllyyy?

4. Do you often feel lonely?

6. Do you consider yourself unique?

8. Are you a bit (or a lot) of a music snob?

10. Do you think the world would be a bit better with more INFP's?!

 

[Glycerine]

+100000. I've noticed E4's can be real emotional roller coasters sometimes.... going from one extreme to the other.

 

[GirlFromMars]

+100000. I've noticed E4's can be real emotional roller coasters sometimes.... going from one extreme to the other.

This is true.

 

[teacups&cupcakes]

1. Do you think you're sometimes more selfish, mean, and less lovey-dovey than what people think us to be?
Yep.

2. Do you infact have a pretty dark side, which find a lot of people and things shallow, and unlikeable, and you'd like to stick pins in their eyes? But you wouldn't actually do it, because you are pretty nice realllyyy?
Yes, yes.


3. Do you feel frustrated towards people that don't care about things that really matter? Do you get frustrated at those that seems to only care about sports, clothes, and their hair?
It's only super frustrating when they live by those things religiously.

4. Do you often feel lonely?
When I'm by myself I don't feel lonely but when I am with a crowd then I often do.


5. Do you get random ideas in the middle of the night, and you get so exicted thinking about doing it tomorrow, but then tomorrow comes and you're not excited about it anymore, thus don't do it?
Haha, this always happens to me because it keeps me awake at night and the idea doesn't even get followed through.

6. Do you consider yourself unique?
Everyone's unique . I do consider myself weird, mainly because I get commented on my odd behaviour by 99% of the people I know.

7. Do you literally feel other people's pain?
I usually imagine what their pain must be like and I usually find some feeling or emotion that I know to match with that so I kind of feel their pain.

8. Are you a bit (or a lot) of a music snob?
Not really. I really dislike house music and country music though.

9. Have you had people you've never met before tell you their life-story?
Nope.

10. Do you think the world would be a bit better with more INFP's?!
Probably not.