Interesting point of view noigmn I can definitely relate to what you are saying.
I read 4w5s aren't the greatest relationship makers, so I fit that.
Yeah, ditto. Whether it's friends or the dating world I suck. When I was younger I had no problem making friends because people seemed to be drawn to me and I let them. I think over the years and having a better understanding of the world has hardened me in some ways, so now I'm cautious about everyone and everything.
They can be yelling and screaming at me, and sometimes it's just like watching a movie. I react if they need some emotional cue to help them calm down and be quiet.
I like how you described these moments. I do tend to sit back and let the other person rant about whatever so they look foolish in the end. And I will only express my opinions in a heated rage if they start stomping on mine.
I just strive for a mutuality that never quite exists. Like I want the connection on another level to feel complete. I always feel close though, and feel a pretty pure love when I like someone, and it tends to make me a better person in all parts of my life for a while. Last few times, I've been the one to walk off though. Things work well and I'm bored of it.
I understand this completely. I have done this with many friendships in the past. Sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it to put so much effort when you're not getting anything in return. As for relationships and dating I have done the same thing. I guess that's where I'm inept because I place people on pedestals and not always with me realizing it.
Maybe I'm a little depressed. Though I still hit the highs well whenever I get the chance, so not really depressed, just in need of something new to kick me into life again.
I think I'm in that boat too. I have more down than up these days. However, most people wouldn't know by looking at me. I have perfected my stoic 'game' face for years. At first glance you wouldn't know that I'm slowly dying from rage inside. I try to take those high moments anyway I can by making an effort to keep myself busy everyday.
What are you like in general that would help me confirm 4w5? What is a 4w5 like?
Well, I think the feeling of not belonging anywhere consumes me. I do feel strangely out of place when I'm around people. I just don't fit the typical human criteria, I guess. I'm in no way stuck up, but I feel as if everything around me isn't as important as everyone says it is and somehow I deserve something different. Not something of a higher or greater value, just not this life. Not to sound dramatic, but sometimes I do feel like I'm drowning. I get a lot of panic attacks during the week along with severe migraines.
I guess the main difference from a healthy and unhealthy 4w5 is the sulking, lol. Unhealthy 4w5's will most likely dwell even further into their dark moments, sort of like living side by side with the world in a dark shell of their own. Even though I'm not overly fantasy prone I'm constantly thinking of having a different life in great detail and specifics. I think I do possess traits for an unhealthy INFP in general.
I read this description about 4w5's and this fits me to a T.
depressed, feels invisible, nihilistic, reveals little about self, fragile, dark, bizarre, feels undesirable, reclusive, weird, irritable, frequently second guesses self, unassertive, unsympathetic, low self control, observer, worrying, phobic, suspicious, unproductive, avoidant, negative, bad at saving money, emotionally sensitive, does not like to stand out, submissive, daydreamer
I'm also the sp/soc type and this just further adds to my personal issues.