volvicstrawberry
New member
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2020
- Messages
- 5
Hello,
I'm looking for some help/insight into a problem I'm having with my ENFP best friend. For reference, I'm an INFJ. We have been friends for 8 years and for the most part we get along really well and have a great time together, but recently we keep on coming up against the same problem again and again, and it's starting to wear me down. Basically, it goes like this:
I meet up with ENFP and I'm excited to see them> at some point during our meeting ENFP says that I seem unhappy and like I don't want to be there> I say I'm fine and enjoying spending time with them> ENFP seems angry and agitated, replying to me with short answers> I become aware of this and try and be outgoing so they can see that there's no problem and I'm having a good time> I get home and ENFP sends me a text saying that I seemed unhappy, that this created a bad atmosphere and that I ruined their night/day/weekend> I feel anxious and deflated, like I'm being tested and keep coming up short and there's nothing I can do to change it.
In the past there has been a few times where ENFP has said "are you ok you seem quiet/unhappy?", but once I've confirmed I'm good they accepted this without question. Now it's happening with increasing frequency, and instead of accepting that there isn't an issue, they get annoyed with me.
Examining the times this has happened, I honestly can't see any changes in my vibe/demeanour that would set it apart from all the other times we hang out where we get along great and they tell me how much they loved seeing me. I think this may be something to do with Ne because my dad (who is an ISFJ) also misreads me and then becomes angry at whatever information he has picked up on- although it happens far less often than it does with my ENFP friend. I have never had this issue with anybody else- friends, partners, colleagues.
On Friday I drove two hours after work to see my friend. They are broke, so I took them out for a meal at their favorite restaurant to cheer them up. The meal was fine but towards the end it began- they decided I seemed withdrawn/moody and unhappy. I travelled two hours back and arrived home to a text from them describing the evening as a "flop".
Honestly, I'm just about ready to call this friendship quits. I'm suppose to see them this weekend but the thought of it makes my heart sink. I can't explain just how awful it is to feel like you can't do anything right.
Any help would be really appreciated, thank you for reading.
I'm looking for some help/insight into a problem I'm having with my ENFP best friend. For reference, I'm an INFJ. We have been friends for 8 years and for the most part we get along really well and have a great time together, but recently we keep on coming up against the same problem again and again, and it's starting to wear me down. Basically, it goes like this:
I meet up with ENFP and I'm excited to see them> at some point during our meeting ENFP says that I seem unhappy and like I don't want to be there> I say I'm fine and enjoying spending time with them> ENFP seems angry and agitated, replying to me with short answers> I become aware of this and try and be outgoing so they can see that there's no problem and I'm having a good time> I get home and ENFP sends me a text saying that I seemed unhappy, that this created a bad atmosphere and that I ruined their night/day/weekend> I feel anxious and deflated, like I'm being tested and keep coming up short and there's nothing I can do to change it.
In the past there has been a few times where ENFP has said "are you ok you seem quiet/unhappy?", but once I've confirmed I'm good they accepted this without question. Now it's happening with increasing frequency, and instead of accepting that there isn't an issue, they get annoyed with me.
Examining the times this has happened, I honestly can't see any changes in my vibe/demeanour that would set it apart from all the other times we hang out where we get along great and they tell me how much they loved seeing me. I think this may be something to do with Ne because my dad (who is an ISFJ) also misreads me and then becomes angry at whatever information he has picked up on- although it happens far less often than it does with my ENFP friend. I have never had this issue with anybody else- friends, partners, colleagues.
On Friday I drove two hours after work to see my friend. They are broke, so I took them out for a meal at their favorite restaurant to cheer them up. The meal was fine but towards the end it began- they decided I seemed withdrawn/moody and unhappy. I travelled two hours back and arrived home to a text from them describing the evening as a "flop".
Honestly, I'm just about ready to call this friendship quits. I'm suppose to see them this weekend but the thought of it makes my heart sink. I can't explain just how awful it is to feel like you can't do anything right.
Any help would be really appreciated, thank you for reading.