I'm an ISTP and she's INFJ. We had an argument lately because I gave up taking more courses for the semester (each course has a separate fee payment) because I had to pay off the balance from our travelling expenses in the summer. I'm paying the larger part as I'm working and she's a student with no income, and I'm completely fine with it as the memories we had are invaluable and she means a lot to me.
She found out that I had been putting off the courses (which are only available every other semester, so I'm in a position such that I won't be graduating until two years later. To her it sounds like a colossal waste of time and lack of efficiency and she's extremely upset mostly due to the fact that she's had a part in this. According to her if she hadn't insisted on the trip and other miscellanous wants, I would have had the money to pay for more courses and could have graduated next year.
How do I tell her it's not her fault? She's going as far as saying her presence has affected my life and it would be best if she stops causing any more delays in my life. What she doesn't accept is that she is worth more than anything else.
I try to tell her it's ok and that she's only worried for me, and I will fix it. Then she says she feels that she's being controlling about how to live my life and hates it and is guilty all over again. (her self esteem about this is caused by her previous breakups all because of her controlling the other person too much) I'm at a loss. I don't hate her for it. How do I ease her guilt?
She found out that I had been putting off the courses (which are only available every other semester, so I'm in a position such that I won't be graduating until two years later. To her it sounds like a colossal waste of time and lack of efficiency and she's extremely upset mostly due to the fact that she's had a part in this. According to her if she hadn't insisted on the trip and other miscellanous wants, I would have had the money to pay for more courses and could have graduated next year.
How do I tell her it's not her fault? She's going as far as saying her presence has affected my life and it would be best if she stops causing any more delays in my life. What she doesn't accept is that she is worth more than anything else.
I try to tell her it's ok and that she's only worried for me, and I will fix it. Then she says she feels that she's being controlling about how to live my life and hates it and is guilty all over again. (her self esteem about this is caused by her previous breakups all because of her controlling the other person too much) I'm at a loss. I don't hate her for it. How do I ease her guilt?