Ha! You have met a totally different group of ESTPs than me! My dad is ESTP.
I am not going to retort to your comment as I know it was not directed at me, and I said earlier that not all of one type are expected to be the same, and I stick to that.
Me personally, I have alot to say and I don't say it unless it has worth and meaning. I am the one asking others to back up their statements more often than not. Also, I've done enough at this point in my life that I am pretty much conversant in whatever topic comes up, but will not blabber as your friends do if not the expert in the room. An ESTPs real strength is getting dropped into a room of strangers where he/she doesn't know anyone/anything that's going on and figuring it all out.
For instance, I worked for years as a software system analyst. I would arrive at a company that needed custom software built and knew nothing about it, or would need the new application to integrate with all their existing stuff. All of a sudden I'm surrounded by people who outrank me, or as you describe them "higher-ups", and you know what? They are confused and they need help, and they are very nice to me, because I pick up a mrker, go their whiteboard and start asking for the story of where we are, where we want to be, what we're starting with, how much money we can spend, and when we need to get there. And after a few days of conversations the puzzle is solved, their system is being developed, and the higher-ups love me.
I am very respectful and courteous, but I assure you, I back down from no one. I wrote a 5 page letter to my manager's boss about 4 years ago telling him how clusterf&*$ed the account was and that a disaster was about to ensue if he did not intervene and right the ship according to what the database administrator and I stated was necessary to do. You know what? Everyone thought I would get fired, and I didn't, I got respect.
So, Ms. Lauren, maybe your friends need ESTP lessons from me.