[INFJ] INFJ Compatibility - INFJ's Romantic Match?

[Sniffles]

Oh yes, even in high school when I was randomly crushing everywhere it was the E5 boys that would make me really sit up and take notice. Smart, complex, idiosyncratic, low key and sometimes even into music too. I have a high 5 wing and I like the commonality that brings.

What about E4s?

 

[violaine]

^Oh yes! E4 totally rocks of course. Hence, I didn't even feel the need to mention it!

 

[hopeseed]

Hey!

So I was just wondering if anyone knows the personality types that compliment an INFJ's? I was wondering if the sex of the INFJ or the other personality depends on it and how accurate the compatibility between the two are. I'm not looking for a match online, but I'd find it interesting if there was a specific type.

Please, share thy wisdom.

I think in maturity INFP's are so good for INFJ's! I could see INTP, only if he had enough F though. In youth...well, to be honest, for me I don't think there was anyone that would have worked out well...but everyone's process is different. I just don't feel like I can connect to a strong S type or a strong TJ, I just feel distant and misinterpreted all the time, in a close relationship anyway wiht one of these types. Good luck!

 

[penelope]

You know what I noticed yesterday?

I've had a little experience in interacting with male ENFPs and I find that I act the same way around them... they draw a certain silly, honest part of myself out, as in, my true nature that I normally hide from people that would feel uncomfortable around me for it.

I spent time with a lot of friends last night and ran into a guy I had been attracted to years ago and he's back in town, and I found myself acting the way I do around ENFPs, and I'm so sworn to end up with one, because I absolutely love the interaction between myself as an INFJ and ENFP (I'm totally assuming he's that).

Do other INFJ notice how they interact with other types? Am I alone in this?

also, sample of conversation with this guy:

*he comes to sit next to me and has a small end table in front of him
me: fancy seeing you here. Like the table?
him: definitely
me: it's a brunch table
him: what? why? *laughs*
me: now it's a lunch table
him: *laughs* why it's it a lunch table now?
me: because you questioned it
him: it's not an end table then?
me: no, that implies dinner.
him: *fascinated*

later on:
*he's talking nonsense to some people, and they're all giving him weird looks
me: I totally understood you
him: I knew it
...
*a friend of ours comes up and she's being quirky
me: you remind me of a duck
her: whaaat?
him: yeah!
me: in your expressions. You just remind me of a duck.
him: what do I remind you of?
me: a goldfish
him: definitely
her: *weirded out*

I just loooove the way ENFPs bring me out!

 

[Lady_X]

aww...that's cute penelope...my mom and dad were enfp/infj and they were so silly together too...i love it.

 

[Silent Stars]

You know what I noticed yesterday?

I've had a little experience in interacting with male ENFPs and I find that I act the same way around them... they draw a certain silly, honest part of myself out, as in, my true nature that I normally hide from people that would feel uncomfortable around me for it.

I spent time with a lot of friends last night and ran into a guy I had been attracted to years ago and he's back in town, and I found myself acting the way I do around ENFPs, and I'm so sworn to end up with one, because I absolutely love the interaction between myself as an INFJ and ENFP (I'm totally assuming he's that).

Do other INFJ notice how they interact with other types? Am I alone in this?

Yeah, I'm the same way. I will probably end up with one as well; they are exactly what I've always wanted in a relationship. I just love them.

 

[Thursday]

on personality page, they say ENxPs
i ask and hear ENTPs on many forums express their love for INxJs

seems to be the formula for success if we are talking generic eric and plain jane

 

[penelope]

ENTPs drive me nuts. I feel like they're far too literal for my comforts. ENFP is enough goof for me.

 

[Thursday]

ENTPs drive me nuts. I feel like they're far too literal for my comforts. ENFP is enough goof for me.

yes - my faja drives me crazy
but it seems that some find success
i guess the only rule is the exception

 

[Silent Stars]

I like ENTPs and all, but....they just aren't warm enough for me.

 

[Lexicon]

I often find myself smitten with NTs...

 

[Glycerine]

I want to meet an ENTP someday...

 

[Lauren Ashley]

You know what I noticed yesterday?

I've had a little experience in interacting with male ENFPs and I find that I act the same way around them... they draw a certain silly, honest part of myself out, as in, my true nature that I normally hide from people that would feel uncomfortable around me for it.

Ditto. ENFP males are awesome. I love them on sight.

 

[FantailedWall]

My ex was an INFJ - and we were perfect together.

The relationship fell apart due to his unwillingness to expose me to the dark parts of himself (he had some serious pyschological issues, but was very adept at keeping them from people - I just saw right through him) we actually never officially 'broke up', he just pulled away.
And whilst I was shattered (we connected so well on cognitive, creative and emotional levels) I can still to this day (this was a few years ago) not be angry at him, as I know he was just trying not to pull me down with him.

All I can do is hope he's better these days.



(PS -As a random side note - Lexicon, that first quote of yours is one of my all-time favourites! Ahhhh, Wilde)

 

[penelope]

Ugh I just found out another guy I was crushing on is also an INFJ. Is it sad that I'm disappointed? I've had bad experiences with two INFJ guys before, and I'm afraid that he'll have the same quirks and problems I had with previous INFJ (and I say this because I'm fairly sure the attraction is mutual).

I was so hoping he was ENFP or ENTP.

Oh, while I'm at it: INFJ love to talk about ourselves to anyone who will listen, because we think we're such interesting people. Well, I get annoyed with other INFJ because I get sick of listening to them. Ha. Isn't that completely stupid?

 

[Silent Stars]

My ex was an INFJ - and we were perfect together.

The relationship fell apart due to his unwillingness to expose me to the dark parts of himself (he had some serious pyschological issues, but was very adept at keeping them from people - I just saw right through him)

That's too bad, really. I've never had any problems with being open with the people I'm very close to; I'd tell them anything and everything. I guess that just depends on how secure you are with yourself. Openness is very important to me in a relationship; if there is even the tiniest thing that you would be unwilling (not unable, as if this were the case, it could be worked on by both people, and eventually talked about) to say about yourself, it will come back and bite you in the ass sooner or later. I'd much rather avoid having to deal with that. It's a far worse thing than telling someone all about you and then finding out that they can't accept who you are, for whatever reason, because that way your more intimate dealings with the other person could end before you get too involved, and it would be quicker and easier for both people to deal with (also, if they can't accept you for everything that you are, then it's not meant to be, so don't bother with it; a lot of people get hung up on this, unfortunately); being unwilling to completely open yourself to the one you love out of an apparent sense of fear of rejection is empirically a sign that you don't trust them enough. That fear is the end result of your mind wastefully spinning its wheels about the insecurities you have, and the longer it does that, the harder it is to put that trust in place. That's what I think, anyways.

Ugh I just found out another guy I was crushing on is also an INFJ. Is it sad that I'm disappointed? I've had bad experiences with two INFJ guys before, and I'm afraid that he'll have the same quirks and problems I had with previous INFJ (and I say this because I'm fairly sure the attraction is mutual).

I was so hoping he was ENFP or ENTP.

Oh, while I'm at it: INFJ love to talk about ourselves to anyone who will listen, because we think we're such interesting people. Well, I get annoyed with other INFJ because I get sick of listening to them. Ha. Isn't that completely stupid?

I wouldn't say that it's sad because it's certainly an understandable response, though I'm quite certain that not all INFJ guys would have those same problems, as a lot of that could depend on how mature they are, or if they are unbalanced in some way, or even habitual things. What were those problems, anyways?...if you don't mind me asking.

As for the second part, that would depend on how balanced your conversations with them are. If they're just blabbing on and on, not letting you get a word in edgewise, or if you're trying to let them know you're not all that interested in hearing it, then yeah, you have every right to get sick of it. I can certainly talk for a long while about some things, but never in a way that makes it seem like I'm just going on a rant (I always leave openings for the other person to talk, and interject things that put the ball in their court.), because with anything that I'd talk about, my most important reasoning for talking about it is to gain input from the other person (rather than just hearing myself talk), whether it be seeing what they think about it, having them add to the conversation or take it in a related direction and so on (even if that direction is different from what I had intended), or even just to get a smile or laugh out of them. I never talk for the sake of talking....I really can't stand it.



I personally think that two INFJs could work, but I'd say these things would have to be there in order for it to work really well:

--One of them would have to be more on the T side than the other.
--Values would have to be mostly the same or at least highly similar; having a common denominator in what you base those values on (even if they are different) definitely helps (i.e. religious backgrounds, life experiences, how you view the world and people in general). This would negate the biggest clashing points that two strongly J people could have, especially INFJs, because our values are very important to us, and we can be quite stubborn about them.
--Both would have to be very secure about who they are and willing to be entirely open. This could be said about any relationship, of course, but if it's not taken care of, it would be even worse since both have dominant Ni, and that could get out of control and destroy the relationship if not kept in check by mutual trust (i.e. subconsciously filling in the blanks of what you don't know about the other person, dwelling on things that you worry about, making assumptions about intentions, etc.).
--At least one would have to be fairly talkative on a regular basis. Kind of a common sense thing, I know, but if both people are continually waiting for the other person to say something [because they are more comfortable with responding], that would be problematic.

I'm probably missing some things, as I'm not terribly into psychology or anything like that (most of what I know is just inherent), but you get the gist of it.


Anyways...I can definitely say that if I ever had the opportunity to have a relationship with another INFJ, I'd be all for it! I think that would be incredibly nice.

Of course, for me, I think an ENFP would be just as awesome as another INFJ; I'd be open to both possibilities.




btw, I just realized that this is the longest post I've ever made here....yay!

 

[penelope]

I wouldn't say that it's sad because it's certainly an understandable response, though I'm quite certain that not all INFJ guys would have those same problems, as a lot of that could depend on how mature they are, or if they are unbalanced in some way, or even habitual things. What were those problems, anyways?...if you don't mind me asking.

As for the second part, that would depend on how balanced your conversations with them are. If they're just blabbing on and on, not letting you get a word in edgewise, or if you're trying to let them know you're not all that interested in hearing it, then yeah, you have every right to get sick of it. I can certainly talk for a long while about some things, but never in a way that makes it seem like I'm just going on a rant (I always leave openings for the other person to talk, and interject things that put the ball in their court.), because with anything that I'd talk about, my most important reasoning for talking about it is to gain input from the other person (rather than just hearing myself talk), whether it be seeing what they think about it, having them add to the conversation or take it in a related direction and so on (even if that direction is different from what I had intended), or even just to get a smile or laugh out of them. I never talk for the sake of talking....I really can't stand it.



I personally think that two INFJs could work, but I'd say these things would have to be there in order for it to work really well:

--One of them would have to be more on the T side than the other.
--Values would have to be mostly the same or at least highly similar; having a common denominator in what you base those values on (even if they are different) definitely helps (i.e. religious backgrounds, life experiences, how you view the world and people in general). This would negate the biggest clashing points that two strongly J people could have, especially INFJs, because our values are very important to us, and we can be quite stubborn about them.
--Both would have to be very secure about who they are and willing to be entirely open. This could be said about any relationship, of course, but if it's not taken care of, it would be even worse since both have dominant Ni, and that could get out of control and destroy the relationship if not kept in check by mutual trust (i.e. subconsciously filling in the blanks of what you don't know about the other person, dwelling on things that you worry about, making assumptions about intentions, etc.).
--At least one would have to be fairly talkative on a regular basis. Kind of a common sense thing, I know, but if both people are continually waiting for the other person to say something [because they are more comfortable with responding], that would be problematic.

I'm probably missing some things, as I'm not terribly into psychology or anything like that (most of what I know is just inherent), but you get the gist of it.


Anyways...I can definitely say that if I ever had the opportunity to have a relationship with another INFJ, I'd be all for it! I think that would be incredibly nice.

Of course, for me, I think an ENFP would be just as awesome as another INFJ; I'd be open to both possibilities.

Thanks! Yeah, that is an interesting note, because the two INFJ guys I've dated in the past were not of the same religious background as me, and this one is and it's a much bigger deal. And I'm pretty sure that he's a lot more T than me. I think it could work out. He's very talkative, and so am I, and we have so many things in common that we seem to push. In fact, I was completely sure he was ENTP before I had him take the test.

This could be interesting... I'm giving it a shot to see what happens!

As far as previous problems: one INFJ was too smothering, always needing and needing and requiring affirmation (so was the other, actually). The first one and I thought too much alike and it became boring. The second one was in his own world too much and I couldn't follow along and tell when he was being realistic or not. It drove me nuts how much he moved in between both with me constantly. The second one had very low self esteem and a dark inner world and it was destructive and I didn't have the patience to deal with it and his immaturity.

But this one... he's a lot more mature than these last two, is very intelligent (I'm still shocked he's not a T instead of F), and our interests align really well (I'm in the fine arts, he's with the film arts and writing). We'll see!

 

[Silent Stars]

Sounds good to me. Go for it!

 

[conrad]

I am a male INFJ who is just starting a relationship (3 weeks in) with a female INFJ. My experience in past relationships is that my girlfriends fall madly in love with me but I fail to fall for them. I was starting to think I was broken until I met my INFJ sweetheart who is stealing my heart rather quickly. She is more I than I (see what I did there) but we both have no problem chatting for hours. We have the same interests (In fact we are both in IT and graphic design). Our values, our beliefs, our sex drive and passion, taste in and love of music, taste and love of movies, personal interests, sense of humor (and so on and so on) are very much in sync with each others. I am really beginning to think that I may have found my soul mate but I know that we are for all intense purposes the same side of the magnet. I guess I am looking for some wisdom from the crowd here about what potential pitfalls we may run into and what can be done to avoid them. I think she is a pretty solid INFJ and I know that I almost straddle the fence when it comes to I and E and my J is only 1%. It is not so much those I worry about but rather looking to avoid clashing in the NF space (I am solid NF).

Also, she is also one of those NF's that needs to reenergize after being around a group of people or intense emotional contact with another person. I want to learn how to give her what she needs (space.. or whatever) to do what she needs to do during those times. I am hoping one of you ladies out there can shed some light on that aspect.

Thanks

P.S. She is the one who turned me onto the whole MBTI thing... so Baby, I am eternally grateful to you for shedding light on what goes on upstairs

 

[Journey]

You all know I love my ISFJ husband dearly and that he IS the man for me. However I believe the natural partner for an INFJ is an ENFP. I've thought that for years and I thought that was what I would end up with, but life has a way of happening to you while you are planning, lol.