[MBTI General] INFJ and ISTJ - try to stop me.

[mrcockburn]

So an ISTJ has been pursuing me for quite some time, and dare I say, he's a handsome, potential plaything..

We've been friends for a while, including a-hemhawhem "benefits!" But now he's been telling me that he wants to go exclusive with me.

We've been friends to the extent that we hang out here and there just to talk, and etc, but it's not like we were best friends, mainly because he didn't live around my area until recently, so we've gotten to know each other more and more. So while we're friends, he's not so close a friend that I'd consider him a brother and think it weird to go further.

So it might be an amusing experiiment. An NF (and this one, at that) with an SJ.

Now tell me I'm crazy. NOW.

(Or give me some tips - are you ISTJs open to the idea of open relationships f I brought it up promptly? Are you really picky about what "proper" wine is? Are you prone to weeknight bootycalls, because that's not OK.

 

[Thalassa]

I'm not an ISTJ but I don't think you're going to have good luck with an open relationship and an ISTJ.

You're just going to hurt him.

Also, I don't think you're an INFJ, just FYI.

 

[mrcockburn]

I'm not an ISTJ but I don't think you're going to have good luck with an open relationship and an ISTJ.

You're just going to hurt him.

Also, I don't think you're an INFJ, just FYI.

Why not, if he agrees to it?

And when will people accept my INFJayjay!

 

[Thalassa]

Well if he agrees to it, he agrees to it.

The ISTJs I've known take commitment pretty seriously and if he's already told you he wants exclusivity, he's offering very strong loyalty to you, most probably.

Not to say ISTJs can't have casual affairs, but I don't think they approach women declaring they want exclusivity when they don't mean it.

It's because you're almost an anti-INFJ. If you're INFJ, I'm an ENTJ.

 

[mrcockburn]

yeah, not sure if I'm actually an ESTP in one hell of a shadow-mode-induced INFJ funk, or if I've been an INFJ all along and just didn't realize it.

As for the ISTJ, I'll see what the real ones have to say tomorrow. They're all probably sleeping right now, as is "proper."

kinda like I should be..

 

[Wanderer]

And when will people accept my INFJayjay!
yeah, not sure if I'm actually an ESTP in one hell of a shadow-mode-induced INFJ funk

Just from the posts I've seen you don't seem to be an INFJ.. I think most INFJ's would probably *not* be comfortable with a friends with benefits scenario (any other INFJ's please chip in and correct me if I'm wrong) so ESTP might make more sense.

Don't take that as a criticism (it's not) you're probably lucky if you aren't one of us - we can be kind of oversensitive, moody, and misunderstood.

To the subject at hand; He's an SJ who wants to be exclusive; which from my understanding of SJ's means a lot. So he is probably viewing this as a relationship which he hopes has potential, whereas your opening post said..

dare I say, he's a handsome, potential plaything..

I think the way you worded your post is quite significant.
In which case, you would probably wind up hurting him. Both parties have to want the same thing for a relationship to work out (generally speaking anyway.)

 

[tinker683]

Couple comments I'd like to add myself:

1) As an ISxJ myself, if I tell you that I'd want something exclusive...I mean exactly that. If that's what he wants, and you want something else, then drop the matter altogether because it's only going to end in disaster

2) NF's and SJs can definitely work well together I love my ENFJ-ex very much, still do to this day. Things didn't work out but she is one of the most important people in my life. There are differences that will need some working on but it can work very...very well

 

[Tiger Owl]

Well if he agrees to it, he agrees to it.

The ISTJs I've known take commitment pretty seriously and if he's already told you he wants exclusivity, he's offering very strong loyalty to you, most probably.

I strongly agree with this. Casual sex, flings, friends with benefits can and do happen and we enjoy them. But if we offer trust/exclusivity we mean it. If you accept the trust don't break it or you will never have it again (no, lets be friends after...).
YMMV

 

[Giggly]

ISTJ is the last type you should be looking for open relationship or something non-exclusive with.

If he says he agrees to it, he's lying.

 

[iwakar]

So an ISTJ has been pursuing me for quite some time, and dare I say, he's a handsome, potential plaything..

We've been friends for a while, including a-hemhawhem "benefits!" But now he's been telling me that he wants to go exclusive with me.

We've been friends to the extent that we hang out here and there just to talk, and etc, but it's not like we were best friends, mainly because he didn't live around my area until recently, so we've gotten to know each other more and more. So while we're friends, he's not so close a friend that I'd consider him a brother and think it weird to go further.

So it might be an amusing experiiment. An NF (and this one, at that) with an SJ.

Now tell me I'm crazy. NOW.

(Or give me some tips - are you ISTJs open to the idea of open relationships f I brought it up promptly? Are you really picky about what "proper" wine is? Are you prone to weeknight bootycalls, because that's not OK.

I have known of INFJ/ISTJ marriages or LTRs on this forum that were mentioned at some point. As I recall, they ended due to communication issues. I think that's less relevant than the fact that he wants exclusivity and you want a plaything.

Also, LO effing L at you thinking you're an INFJ.

 

[Giggly]

I get EnTP vibes from Mrcockburn.

 

[mrcockburn]

I think I've matured a lot since before though - the open relationship isn't necessary, and I can see how the exclusivity thing works with him. If I don't like it, I'd just be honest and quickly break up.

My last two "real" relationships were a disaster, but I learned a lot from them.

 

[Thalassa]

I get EnTP vibes from Mrcockburn.

Yeah she strikes me as an ExTP, honestly.

Or perhaps a very young ESFP.

 

[Fidelia]

Yeah, I could see ENTP. Not INFJ though...

 

[mrcockburn]

I don't use or even understand the purpose of Fi. So ExFP is probably out. Ti I can understand - though too much slowing shit down can get annoying. Sometimes for the sake of expediency you've gotta accept less than 100.00000% precision.

Si is even worse - I lack it to the point where I do my damndest to outsource anything remotely requiring it. So ENTP is out, although that's what I first typed myself as.

Is this why INFJ's the 'rarest' type - because you won't let any new recruits in?

 

[Tiltyred]

We let new members in. We just don't accept applications from flibbertigibbets.

Step away from the ISTJ.

 

[Starry]

We let new members in. We just don't accept applications from flibbertigibbets.

Step away from the ISTJ.

What are flibbertigibbets? I totally want to start using that word...but I have no idea what it means. And I agree with stepping away from the ISTJ as well. From what I know of ISTJs...plaything = painful, painful experience. Oh and cockburn = ESTP.

 

[Tiltyred]

What are flibbertigibbets? I totally want to start using that word...but I have no idea what it means. And I agree with stepping away from the ISTJ as well. From what I know of ISTJs...plaything = painful, painful experience. Oh and cockburn = ESTP.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/flibbertigibbet

 

[Starry]

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/flibbertigibbet

LOL thanks! I didn't think to look this word up in a standard dictionary. And yes...there are plenty of opportunities to make good use of this word in my daily life.

 

[Giggly]

Is this why INFJ's the 'rarest' type - because you won't let any new recruits in?

It's an exclusive club, darling.

Only the best.