I'm rediscovering the real me!

[INTJMom]

I've read about the enneagram many times, but I guess it never sunk in. That, and it doesn't help to try to figure myself out when I'm depressed. But I took another whack at it recently, and I've discovered that I'm a four! Fours like showing their feelings!

It all makes so much sense now! My whole childhood is making more sense! And I'm really kind of mad that my husband and children have tended to reject me when I'm showing my feelings, even feelings of happiness and excitement. What's the matter with people anyhow? They're allowed to holler when somebody makes a touchdown, but I'm not?! I don't think so José! I mean seriously, I get reprimanded for being too loud when the Red Sox are winning. What I've done in the past is just slink back to my bedroom, slip back into depression mode, and get back on the computer where I won't get yelled at. But I'm done with that.

I'm happy! And I'm happy that I'm happy! It's nice for a change! And if they don't like it, maybe they can slink off to their room! I have just as much right to be here as the next guy. I know for a fact because it says so in Desiderata!

"You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here."

See? Told you so!
I remembered because I memorized the whole thing in the 1970's.

Knowing I'm a four really explains a lot, but it also helps me understand better that a lot of people are not like me and I can't expect them to be.

I'm thinking that I am happier these days because of my involvement on the music team at church. I'm developing new relationships, learning new things on the guitar, and playing songs I didn't think I would be able to because I thought they were too difficult, but I seem to be holding my own.

I do feel like I'm waking up from a long sleep. And I'm not going to let other people push me back down. I hope.

 

[Salomé]

4s are great!
5w4s are better.

 

[Jae Rae]

My ENFP best friend is a 4 who's really into the Enneagram. She's a personal coach and really great at it. She went to India in January for a 3-week retreat. She's very spiritual and emotional, tears up easily and often.

Good luck with your new identity and self-awareness!

 

[substitute]

brilliant - be you and be happy.
But don't forget to sometimes switch off the computer and go outside and play

 

[Skyward]

Hahah! Epiphanies are great! I had one minutes before this comment

I figure INTP fits best, and an enneagram I took showed a 1/4 tie. I figure 1 more than 4, though.

It IS a waking up feeling!

 

[INTJMom]

substitute: will do... planning on doing that today.
As a matter of fact there is a female ENTP I know whose company I am getting a craving for. ENTPs are awesome!

Skyward... yes, epiphanies feel great.

 

[GargoylesLegacy]

And I'm really kind of mad that my husband and children have tended to reject me when I'm showing my feelings, even feelings of happiness and excitement.

Gee, tell me about it! I know about that too! People would give me all "OMG she is such a Freak" Look when I do that. But when I am happy I WANNA share my Happiness. It makes me even more happy then and also others benefit from it too. I really feel you.
But you know..if you feel like doing it, just go for it, really. Dun let Any1 spoil that for you. It's only damaging you. Let your Happiness out when you feel like it. *smile*