I'm amazed how no one seems to fear death

[Rail Tracer]

Whether we like it or not, each and every one of us will face it in some point of our lives.

Why fear it when we don't know when our deaths are going to come? Make something of it before that time comes, that way, death is a transition.

 

[Sunshine]

Public speaking and spiders rank much higher on the list of most common fears.

Whenever there's a thread posted about death, I'm always surprised by the number of people claiming not to fear death at all. I sometimes wondering if they are seriously depressed or just in denial. Not too many people seem to be openly willing to admit that they fear it and that they are deeply unsettled by the thought.

I fear death more than just about anything. The only thing I think I fear more than death is living on unfullfilling and meaningless life or not making any valuable contribution to society.

When you die, you lose *everything* you've come to love and appreciate. You have no more contact with your loved ones or friends. You can't eat any more tasty food, listen to any more music, or see any more beautiful art. You can no longer do the things you love. You can no longer contribute to the betterment of society. You can no longer gain knowledge or insights on things. Death is far worse than major losses in life. If you lose a loved one, at least hopefully you have other relationships you can depend on. If you lose your hearing and can no longer listen to music, you still have your vision and can appreciate a sunset or beautiful art. But when you die, that's it. It's *all* gone.

Maybe I take this viewpoint precisely because I don't believe in any sort of afterlife. However, I've heard several atheists also say they don't fear death either. The people who claim to not fear death are not necessarily depressed or nihilistic either. Some are very well adjusted people who currently enjoy life. And I'm not sure age has much to do with it either. It's not just old people who are saying that. I've heard that from 18 year olds as well.

So are there others who share my attitude? I don't think I'm the only one. Or am I really on a different wavelength from others?​

I'm afraid of death.

Sunshine: I'm afraid of dying.
INFJ family member: That's because you're not really living.

 

[Rail Tracer]

I'm afraid of death.

Sunshine: I'm afraid of dying.
INFJ family member: That's because you're not really living.

 

[Lady_X]

i'm not afraid of death..not really and not for me. i believe the bit that's you still exists after and if i'm wrong..i won't know anyway...but...it kills me to think of causing hurt to those that love me so that...that i'll fiercely protect for as long as i can...plus there's lots of fun things to do and awesome interesting people to do them with so i'm hoping...for me...that it's really far off.

 

[Blown Ghost]

there's no perceived benefit to admitting a fear one doesn't know how to overcome

 

[IntrovertedThinker]

Public speaking and spiders rank much higher on the list of most common fears.

Whenever there's a thread posted about death, I'm always surprised by the number of people claiming not to fear death at all. I sometimes wondering if they are seriously depressed or just in denial. Not too many people seem to be openly willing to admit that they fear it and that they are deeply unsettled by the thought.

Yeah, I don't really understand it when people say that they don't fear death.
Although, some people have reasoned away any fear they would otherwise experience.
I personally can reach a point where I realize that there is no logical point to fear death, yet I can't help but desire to avoid the fact that one day I will cease to be conscious and will no longer be.

I fear death more than just about anything. The only thing I think I fear more than death is living on unfullfilling and meaningless life or not making any valuable contribution to society.

Yeah, I had a pretty deep problem with the fear of death a few years ago. Went into an existential crisis.
And yes, I do also fear a meaningless and forgettable life where I can't look back and say, "I actually did something worthwhile of which I'm proud."

When you die, you lose *everything* you've come to love and appreciate. You have no more contact with your loved ones or friends. You can't eat any more tasty food, listen to any more music, or see any more beautiful art. You can no longer do the things you love. You can no longer contribute to the betterment of society. You can no longer gain knowledge or insights on things. Death is far worse than major losses in life. If you lose a loved one, at least hopefully you have other relationships you can depend on. If you lose your hearing and can no longer listen to music, you still have your vision and can appreciate a sunset or beautiful art. But when you die, that's it. It's *all* gone.

Yes... this is the most depressing aspect of the anticipation of death: the lack of experience. While we are alive, these many pleasant experiences seem so wonderful.
Discussing ideas with others; having social meetings and having fun. Spending quality time with your family. Eating interesting food every day. Experiencing many worlds of human creativity that truly please your senses, while sometimes sending you into other worlds entirely. Death is also a complete deletion of everything you've gained in life, rendering it all utterly wasted.

By the way, are you an Absurdist?

Maybe I take this viewpoint precisely because I don't believe in any sort of afterlife. However, I've heard several atheists also say they don't fear death either. The people who claim to not fear death are not necessarily depressed or nihilistic either. Some are very well adjusted people who currently enjoy life. And I'm not sure age has much to do with it either. It's not just old people who are saying that. I've heard that from 18 year olds as well.

I'm an Absurdist, I'm an atheist, and I do fear death (although I constantly attempt to avoid thinking about that prospect now just to remain sane).

So are there others who share my attitude? I don't think I'm the only one. Or am I really on a different wavelength from others?

I relate entirely. And you're the only person I've ever known (til now) who has also felt this way about death.
I'M NOT ALONE!!!!!

Also, people with higher intelligence (supposedly) seem to ponder about death more often than less intelligent people (making us more likely to actually develop these fears with such potency and depth).

 

[IntrovertedThinker]

Death is inevitable. Why fear this? When dead, you're not going to care about anything. You're gone.[/atheist position]

The fear isn't exactly rational or logical.
It's merely the result of irrationally loving life and not wanting it to end.

 

[IntrovertedThinker]

Have you ever suddenly lost consciousness? If you have, you'll know that in that period of being unconscious, you lose 'you'. There is no 'you' so there is no fear. Everything 'you' goes away. When you wake, you have no memory or conception of what happened in the period of time. This is very likely what death is, except death being permanent. You cannot have consciousness without working matter to support it (i.e.: a living normal-functioning brain). This is why death is nothing to be afraid of. Remember how things were before you were conceived in the womb? No. And that's a point worth mentioning.

This is why I dislike sleeping.
I enjoy being awake, experiencing the world.
Sleep is so boring.

 

[Such Irony]

I personally can reach a point where I realize that there is no logical point to fear death, yet I can't help but desire to avoid the fact that one day I will cease to be conscious and will no longer be.

Yep, I relate. No human is entirely logical and rational, no matter how high your T score on the MBTI is. We are emotional and passionate beings.

Yeah, I had a pretty deep problem with the fear of death a few years ago. Went into an existential crisis.
And yes, I do also fear a meaningless and forgettable life where I can't look back and say, "I actually did something worthwhile of which I'm proud."

What was the existential crisis like for you?

Yes... this is the most depressing aspect of the anticipation of death: the lack of experience. While we are alive, these many pleasant experiences seem so wonderful.
Discussing ideas with others; having social meetings and having fun. Spending quality time with your family. Eating interesting food every day. Experiencing many worlds of human creativity that truly please your senses, while sometimes sending you into other worlds entirely. Death is also a complete deletion of everything you've gained in life, rendering it all utterly wasted.

This is very well stated. The last sentence is precisely why I feel the strong need to know that I've done something meaningful. Even though I'll no longer be consciously aware of my own experience, I hope to have a legacy that lives on after I'm dead.

By the way, are you an Absurdist?

Quoting Wikipedia:

In philosophy, "The Absurd" refers to the conflict between the human tendency to seek inherent meaning in life and the human inability to find any. In this context absurd does not mean "logically impossible," but rather "humanly impossible."[1] The universe and the human mind do not each separately cause the Absurd, but rather, the Absurd arises by the contradictory nature of the two existing simultaneously.
Absurdism, therefore, is a philosophical school of thought stating that the efforts of humanity to find inherent meaning will ultimately fail (and hence are absurd), because no such meaning exists, at least in relation to the individual. As a philosophy, absurdism also explores the fundamental nature of the Absurd and how individuals, once becoming conscious of the Absurd, should react to it.
Absurdism is very closely related to existentialism and nihilism and has its origins in the 19th century Danish philosopher, Søren Kierkegaard, who chose to confront the crisis humans faced with the Absurd by developing existential philosophy. Absurdism as a belief system was born of the European existentialist movement that ensued, specifically when the French Algerian philosopher and writer Albert Camus rejected certain aspects from that philosophical line of thought[2] and published his manuscript The Myth of Sisyphus. The aftermath of World War II provided the social environment that stimulated absurdist views and allowed for their popular development, especially in the devastated country of France.


Yeah, I think I'm an absurdist.

I relate entirely. And you're the only person I've ever known (til now) who has also felt this way about death.
I'M NOT ALONE!!!!!

Also, people with higher intelligence (supposedly) seem to ponder about death more often than less intelligent people (making us more likely to actually develop these fears with such potency and depth).

Well I think there's more than just the two of us. But its good to know that I'm not alone in thinking this way.

Here's the weird thing. I sometimes feel selfish for having these thoughts. Like I don't want to leave life to make room for someone else on this planet.

You are right in that I'm sure intelligent people will ponder death far more and with greater intensity than less intelligent people.

 

[IntrovertedThinker]

What was the existential crisis like for you?

Horrible. I started suffering from anxiety at night and become completely obsessed with the fear of death so much so that I couldn't really enjoy even the most basic experiences. This also happened when I was depressed at one point. Food had no taste and I lost enjoyment of everything. Each day was one of suffering -- tormented by the anticipation of death, constantly thinking about that which I do not wish to accept, but which I logically know must be and won't really matter. I wish I could explain it more thoroughly, but I've not been in that condition for many months, so it's a bit foreign to me at this point. I just remember it being absolute mental agony.

Here's the weird thing. I sometimes feel selfish for having these thoughts. Like I don't want to leave life to make room for someone else on this planet.

Indeed. It's my great love of self that makes death so unbearable even as a thought... as something anticipated. Many people may find that self-absorbed and somewhat too self-loving, but I don't let that bother me. I don't think there's anything wrong with truly enjoying who you are and honestly admitting that you think you really enjoy being you every day when you wake up.

 

[Such Irony]

Horrible. I started suffering from anxiety at night and become completely obsessed with the fear of death so much so that I couldn't really enjoy even the most basic experiences. This also happened when I was depressed at one point. Food had no taste and I lost enjoyment of everything. Each day was one of suffering -- tormented by the anticipation of death, constantly thinking about that which I do not wish to accept, but which I logically know must be and won't really matter. I wish I could explain it more thoroughly, but I've not been in that condition for many months, so it's a bit foreign to me at this point. I just remember it being absolute mental agony.

I'm going through a similar crisis myself right now, but luckily it's not nearly as intense. I do enjoy many things about life. I just think about death more than I'd like and as I've gotten older I've thought about it more and more. Usually the thought occurs several times a day. I am able to distract myself from those thoughts most of the time but its still annoying when the thoughts creep up.

 

[KDude]

I wouldn't say I have a crippling fear, but I get an overwhelming sense of fear of death that's more like a survival mechanism. I mean, it's fear that has helped me avoid some people or certain situations or not to do something dumb. I'm only 33 and I already know more than enough people who didn't seem to have this. I guess in one light you could call some of them tragically cool or something, but it's not for me.

 

[Xellotath]

I think that someone who doesn't fear death doesn't value life. Devaluing life is easy, just believe that you'll still stick around, that you're off to other worlds, like heaven and hell. I think culture offers plenty of ways of deceiving yourself that death is not an absolute.

I'm all for existential crisis. Having gone through one, is to me, the minimum requirement when i consider someone for a romantic relationship. Someone who is not intimately aware of their own death, seems like a child to me; no matter how epic their transcendental spirituality might be - or how much they tell themselves that they can control it by simply stating "its inevitable". It just comes across as fake.

To me death means to acknowledge that there's no abstraction out there to save you. All ideas and their connections fail to prevent death [N] . That no matter what sensory perception you might enjoy, none of them will save you either . You can't think yourself out of death [T], and you definitely wont be spared if you "held" the right value in your heart [Fi]... or if you treated everyone around properly [Fe]. The loss is absolute and there's no recovery.

 

[rav3n]

Was thinking about this a bit more and if you consider that the largest percentage of us are in our twenties and thirties, where there's a much smaller subset in their forties and a few in their fifties, it's probably not a surprise that most don't fear death as much as the older crowd.

 

[ThatGirl]

The other day I was going through deceased patient charts. I remembered one of the names, and pictured the person in my mind. Then I thought about what they looked like, laying there all done up.

I pictured the cold, waxy, surreal, energy surrounding the body and the way they were so artificially posed. The sense that death has occurred and the hazy morbidity of it.

Then for some reason, I pictured myself, aged, and in the same situation.

It was freaky. Suddenly I almost felt the complete emptiness that encompasses death.

And it made me realize, I am not going to be there. I mean really realize. Most of the time when I have thought about death, it is about myself dying or myself dead. Idk, this was different.

Anyway, I don't think it is the best thing to happen to a body I have utilized and taken care of for years, but for some reason, I think the fear of death is associated with vanity.

We take care of our minds and bodies in an effort to grow, survive, refine, do better, better, better. Then suddenly that ability is stripped away from us. The body deteriorates, and breaks down years of growth. Like if you spent 10 years building the perfect house, only to have someone come and demolish it in a day. Yet if you never were going to see the house again, would it have really mattered?

 

[Tabula]

It seems like everything we fear is a form of fear of death in some way.

Public speaking? You, alone, vulnerable, in front of a crowd [herd] of intent listeners. Alone and vulnerable - like prey - trapped and dangled, exposing your belly to a den of wolves.

Spiders? Rationally - you're bigger than it - it shouldn't be able to hurt/kill you. But damn, does it look scary. Maybe because of that reason, it's so much smaller than you and looks s'damned scary [possibly venomous] that it could pass right under your radar, and bite/hurt you when you least expect it.

If not for something having the potential ability to hurt you [and why is hurting so bad? Oh yeah, because it means something is harming you. Harming you is bad - it means you can die.] than what is there to fear?

And that ability, to accept it, to live in spite of it, is just as important as the fear we have that acts as a signpost, or an alert, to avoid the danger and possible death. To live in constant fear of death is negating life - another form of death. This is [I think] at the very root of my existential anxiety, or any anxiety, or any insecurity. Why I feel overwhelmed by the world/incapable of living in it functionally sometimes. Maybe this is why Ne/Ni are not as common as dominant or auxiliary mental processes as Se/Si, so it seems anyway, and that's if these are even real. To operate primarily through the lens of "now," to rely primarily on past experience, is important for the survival of the species, I think. If most of our species were concerned with future/bombarded with possibilites/looking for the real "meaning" behind everything all the time, I doubt we'd be as successful in that regard. Variation is awesome. (Note: I'm not saying that Ss do not have these worries, or that Ns do not live in the moment or ever rely on their past experiences, or think about the same possibilies in the same ways, that produce the same effects. I'm saying that the likelihood of one doing one most of the time as opposed to the other is greater, provided CF theory has some merit. Also, this is totally some kind of fallacy. I forget the name. I'm just gon' throw it out there anyway as something to think about, maybe. )

But, I could just be talking out of my ass/making that all up.

That being said - yes - I'm petrified of dying. The uncertainty of the method coupled with the certainty of its inevitably unsettles me to my core. There is NO OTHER WAY, this is GOING to happen, and I do not know how, or when. It feels like some perverted mass torture, as silly as that sounds to say.

I really admire people who can accept this. The whole "Everyone dies" or "Well, it's inevitable, why fear it?" reasons that people give, are precisely the reasons I fear it. Yes, everyone dies. That means I have no other way. There are no other options for me. I'm going to die and I can't do anything about it. But the whole "meaninglessness" issue was much harder for me to deal with when I was younger. I imagine most, if not all, people deal with that at some point. I don't know why it was so hard for me (and it is wrong of me to assume it is not this hard for everyone, I realize. It feels harder for me, is what I mean.) I can't accept it, so I've had to learn ways to ward off thoughts about it so I don't have to deal with it at all. Maybe someday I will be able to just accept it, and live productively and meaningfully in spite of it. I imagine that's what we're all trying to do in some/our own ways.

/agnostic atheist and incurable idealist

 

[Shimmy]

I'm an Atheist and I don't fear death. I don't see any reason in fearing something inevitable and unescapable. When you die, you die!

 

[figsfiggyfigs]

I'm scared of it.

I am religious to an extent. but most of all, it's not only the "after life" that I sort of consider. It's the seconds right before I actually die that I fear...The knowledge that this is my last few moments of consciousness... What will I think? see? miss? etc....


I wish I can live forever. So I can experienced the advance and destruction of human kind and our achievements.

 

[Fluxkom]

Death is inevitable. Why fear this? When dead, you're not going to care about anything. You're gone.[/atheist position]

This!

And as OP writes you don't fear death itself you fear the things that come with it. Losing people, stuff, everything you acquired and achieved in life, that is what scares people about death.
Best to free yourself from those restrictions during life already.
At least that's what I think the minimalist lifestyle approach origins in.

 

[Laurie]

In truth I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be afraid of. I would imagine it's mostly the unknown. If I died right now I would be worried about the effect it would have on my children but I trust my husband and family to take care of them. There is no other choice I have. Worrying that I *could* die and leave them isn't going to make our lives any better, in fact unneeded worry will teach them to worry about things they can't change.

I was always afraid of dying and leaving my kids with no mother because that is what happened to my grandmother when her mother died but as my kids get older that fear is less and less. My grandma died at 95 and she was to the point where she didn't have any contemporaries left. She enjoyed knowing her great grand children but otherwise she was getting old and feeble, even with a fully functional brain.

I did used to have more fear about death and I've had more time to consider these things over the years than most people posting. I've seen more life and death. How do you explain my friend whose two year old died? It's part of life/death, you just have to celebrate what you have.

I think some of this came about when I was dealing with a baby in utero with an abnormality (healthwise). I had no ability to change what was coming, I had to accept that if she didn't make it when she was born that the time I had with her in the womb was what I was supposed to have. No one knew how serious it would be but just that she had a problem with her kidneys. Railing against death wouldn't change anything, we just had to wait and see what would happen. (She had surgery at 4 months and is a happy ExxP drama queen now)

Life is more precious than we think but also less precious than we think.