Idleness, boredom and helplessness

[Giggly]

Nobody's perfect and I've noticed that being idle for too long and/or bored can make a person sink into a funk. When one is bored one ends up excessively focusing on their flaws and this is never good. Sometimes they blame other people for their own flaws too and this just makes them feel more out of control and depressed. Perhaps one can fix or cure themselves, but I am skeptical of that. I have never seen a real cure for depression, especially not the kind that the average person suffers from today, which seems to be to do with normal everyday life. The only remedy I have ever seen work is to distract oneself, or to get more busy. Fill your time with things to do that are dynamic and keep your mind and body moving at a fast pace. So fast that you just don't have time to do everything, even things that need to be done. The people who I know who are like this seem, ironically, to be happier than people who have lots of leisure time. They are quite tired though. And I have also seen the same person go through both extremes and although they were overwhelmed with everything they had to do, they were happier. I dunno maybe this is just the ISFJ in me talking. Hmm.

I just felt the need to talk about this because I notice that so many people are depressed and the one thing they all have in common is that they have a lot of free time on their hands. I've also noticed that when I am super busy, I just don't have time to get down on myself, so the feelings associated with that never come. But they do otherwise. It's not perfect but it works.

So now onto helplessness....

I wanted to talk about this because I have a friend who is almost 10 years older than me, who is quite helpless. I just don't get it. It would not bother me if it weren't for the fact that she is constantly asking me about things she can find out herself (she literally thinks I'm Google) or to do things for her that I think are very basic and she shouldn't need help with. It sucks up my time and I feel guilty when I have to tell her that she will have to do it herself. I feel like I am her elder because I know so much more than her. I would estimate her life skills at someone who is around the age of 12. She's quite pleasant to be around socially, and puts on a strong prideful and snobby front. This leads you to believe that she can hold her own, but somehow she ends up taking advantage of you (she does this to everyone) and just never learns how to do anything for herself. I find myself fighting with saying no to her because she just seems so pitiful, desperate, and in need of help, esp when she screws so many things up that she does do for herself.

When asking for advice about this, I was advised to play dumb (like she does). I think this is excellent advice and I have to remind myself frequently to do that with her. It's the nice way to handle it. If she stopped getting results from me, she will no longer come to me.

 

[Falcarius]

Nobody's perfect and I've noticed that being idle for too long and/or bored can make a person sink into a funk. When one is bored one ends up excessively focusing on their flaws and this is never good...

Definitely true.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

The most natural kind of depression is the kind that comes from not having what you want. That's the kind that most people are distracting themselves from.

I suppose a person could have more leisure time and not be depressed if what they wanted didn't take much work.