[Fe] How to Tell Apart NFJ's from SFJ's in Everyday Life

[Ene]

I think [MENTION=6561]OrangeAppled[/MENTION] has some good insights on this.

 

[Cellmold]

I almost mistyped an ISFJ recently as INFJ, because e6 can make some ISFJs seem to have a "depth", but she has no ideas of her own. She has no future vision, but just supports the ideas and direction of people she has established trust with.

This could apply to 6's in general I think, mainly the latter part about supporting (albeit without a lack of future vision for some). But Si in any stronger influence than inferior does this as well. The stronger fist of dominant Si probably makes it especially obvious.

 

[Hawthorne]

Humility.

Or wait, maybe that's a 6 thing.

 

[Forever_Jung]

I do meet a lot of ISFJs pretending to be INFJ (especially girls). I think if you're an empathetic but internally focused person, the overblown INFJ descriptions sound very appealing. I work with an ISFJ girl who claims to be INFJ because she has so many crazy ideas. Her example: "One time I thought of an idea for a novel where the kids playing a video game got sucked into the video game. And now they have to beat the game to go home." She also reads fantasy novels and likes the idea of being a magical healer.

What she doesn't realize is she's at her best when she's helping people in concrete ways. She's great at budgeting, she provides excellent structure, and always remembers little thoughtful things about people. She also naturally sees what other workers lack and balances them out. She's very good at navigating workplace politics with a deft blend of tact and integrity. I find her incredibly grounding. Everyone loves her! But all of her supposedly crazy schemes strike me as very generic and safe. Of course I would never dare tell her this.

INFJs do tend to have this weird vibe of being removed or above the fray sometimes. But they're very warm to talk to, and when they are focusing on you, you can really feel it. I also think they tend to ask slightly probing questions. I sometimes feel like I am a gem being closely inspected by a jeweller, but maybe that's just me. I don't doubt they're nice but it's slightly weird to be inspected like that. You don't get that feeling everyday.

 

[Forever]

I do meet a lot of ISFJs pretending to be INFJ (especially girls). I think if you're an empathetic but internally focused person, the overblown INFJ descriptions sound very appealing. I work with an ISFJ girl who claims to be INFJ because she has so many crazy ideas. Her example: "One time I thought of an idea for a novel where the kids playing a video game got sucked into the video game. And now they have to beat the game to go home." She also reads fantasy novels and likes the idea of being a magical healer.

What she doesn't realize is she's at her best when she's helping people in concrete ways. She's great at budgeting, she provides excellent structure, and always remembers little thoughtful things about people. She also naturally sees what other workers lack and balances them out. She's very good at navigating workplace politics with a deft blend of tact and integrity. I find her incredibly grounding. Everyone loves her! But all of her supposedly crazy schemes strike me as very generic and safe. Of course I would never dare tell her this.

INFJs do tend to have this weird vibe of being removed or above the fray sometimes. But they're very warm to talk to, and when they are focusing on you, you can really feel it. I also think they tend to ask slightly probing questions. I sometimes feel like I am a gem being closely inspected by a jeweller, but maybe that's just me. I don't doubt they're nice but it's slightly weird to be inspected like that. You don't get that feeling everyday.

Yeah _Jung counterpart, I do tend to probe a lot. I don't have many friends partially because I choose to and my way of approaching others may make the average person feel uncomfortable sometimes. I'm often frustrated with how instinctual humans are.

 

[c-jade]

I have recently started considering if I might be an ISFJ, but when reading the posts here felt I related better with the description of Ns. I wonder if that's because the majority of people posting here are Intuitives, and so might be describing Sensors from a skewed perspective?
[MENTION=26289]Silent[/MENTION], would you care to give any input as an ISFJ on what the differences between NFJs and SFJs look like to you?

The confusion I have is: doesn't the sheer act of being on a forum like this suggest an individual is more likely to be Intuitive? And especially if they are one who is here mainly out of curiosity or the drive to better understand people in general? So what does that mean for the Sensors that are here for those reasons?

edit: I FINALLY learned how to properly tag people, thank you [MENTION=20044]chubber[/MENTION]

 

[Ribonuke]

xSFJs will often take things at face value, stay deeply rooted in their habits and silently conform. Whenever they use their Ni, it's extremely superstitious and panicky.

xNFJs will talk about ideas, discuss the nature of reality and how it affects people, and will often CRITICIZE the way of life to which people so silently conform. Whenever they use their Si, they're either really neurotic about their surroundings or they have trouble remembering things.

Source: xNFJ mother/father, xSFJ aunt/maternal grandmother

 

[Forever_Jung]

The confusion I have is: doesn't the sheer act of being on a forum like this suggest an individual is more likely to be Intuitive? And especially if they are who is here mainly out of curiosity or the drive to better understand people in general? So what does that mean for the Sensors that are here for those reasons?

This sort of perspective you're taking right now, is certainly more like an Ni user than a Si user. Of course that's nothing conclusive, but it's a hint.

 

[Hawthorne]

I have recently started considering if I might be an ISFJ, but when reading the posts here felt I related better with the description of Ns.

If you hadn't, I would've been concerned for your self esteem.
Am I imagining a dearth of SFJ responses? I know we have some around here somewhere.

The confusion I have is: doesn't the sheer act of being on a forum like this suggest an individual is more likely to be Intuitive? And especially if they are one who is here mainly out of curiosity or the drive to better understand people in general? So what does that mean for the Sensors that are here for those reasons?

I like shapes a lot but I don't really see the lines connecting this one. Why would Sensors be in the minority here again?

 

[Yama]

If you hadn't, I would've been concerned for your self esteem.
Am I imagining a dearth of SFJ responses? I know we have some around here somewhere.



I like shapes a lot but I don't really see the lines connecting this one. Why would Sensors be in the minority here again?

Hello yes I have received your request for an SFJ response.

Tbh all SFJ descriptions I've ever seen suck, and I wouldn't be surprised if there are a lot of NFJs who are actually mistyped SFJs because "S sounds like a stupider N and I don't think I'm unintelligent so I must be an NFJ!" I think S and N are probably the most misunderstood in dichotomies. ISFJ descriptions in particular are blegh. They make us all sound like passive-aggressive doormats with sheep minds that lack critical thinking skills. I know for sure I'm not an N because I relate very much to Si and specifically Si/Ne. If I were to consider any other type I'd probably consider ISTJ first for this very reason.

I would love to give advice on how to tell SFJs and NFJs apart in everyday life, but the only NFJs I've known outside of this forum were all really unhealthy and therefore make bad examples.

As for SFJ (or at least ISFJ)... I'd agree with most of the others, we're more grounded. We tend to talk more about concrete things than abstract things. We care more about actualities than possibilities (unless our weak Ne sends us into panic mode where we see 2,406 ways everything can go wrong). I've literally had arguments with my N sister before where I'd had to stop her and say, "You need to stop speaking in hypotheticals and give me an example of something that actually happened or I'm not going to be able to follow you." It is possible for SFJs to like subjects like philosophy and whatnot, but as hobbies or things to do for fun, not as a way of life or as something that dominates their worldview. I'm not sure how different or similar NFJs are in that regard.

It's mostly a matter of Si vs Ni. Gotta talk to them and try to figure out that dominant function.

 

[Forever]

[MENTION=23583]21lux[/MENTION]

You were always welcome to post your opinion regardless of request. But thank you! I wish I could tell all my mistyped brothers and sisters without making them seem sad or angry lol.

I did that once, she did realize but she dropped off from the face of the Earth lol. Perhaps it wasn't a nice and neat passage.

 

[Yama]

Gonna try to give an example of SFJ/NFJ in the "everyday." I'd appreciate of other SFJs or any NFJs tell me if they think this is accurate or not.

Let's say you're at a university talking to an FJ, trying to figure out which FJ they were, and asking why they chose to come to this particular school. An NFJ is more likely to say that they'd wanted to come to this school for a long time and it was their goal to get accepted here, and while they were in high school they made sure they took classes that would matter more towards their future degree, talk about the application process, etc. An SFJ is more likely to say something like "my mom/dad/sister/etc. went here so I came here to uphold the family legacy" or "I applied to a bunch of schools, this one is one of the ones that accepted me and after deciding what I wanted to study I decided this one was the best fit for my degree."

Basically, the NFJ is more future-focued (with one foot in the present), and the SFJ is more present-focused (with one foot in the past).

 

[Forever]

Gonna try to give an example of SFJ/NFJ in the "everyday." I'd appreciate of other SFJs or any NFJs tell me if they think this is accurate or not.

Let's say you're at a university talking to an FJ, trying to figure out which FJ they were, and asking why they chose to come to this particular school. An NFJ is more likely to say that they'd wanted to come to this school for a long time and it was their goal to get accepted here, and while they were in high school they made sure they took classes that would matter more towards their future degree, talk about the application process, etc. An SFJ is more likely to say something like "my mom/dad/sister/etc. went here so I came here to uphold the family legacy" or "I applied to a bunch of schools, this one is one of the ones that accepted me and after deciding what I wanted to study I decided this one was the best fit for my degree."

Basically, the NFJ is more future-focued (with one foot in the present), and the SFJ is more present-focused (with one foot in the past).

Cool. Very solid example.