[MBTI General] How to tell an ISFP from an ISFJ?

[Giggly]

My mum is an ISFJ, I'd say the biggest difference between us is Si is a major reference point for her, she will always refer to what she has experienced personally before considering anything else.

Me: "Mum help I just got bitten by a shark!"
Her: "I know how you feel, I was bitten by a mosquito once..."

Well exagerration obviously, but that's the kind of basic gist of it. Whenever you talk to her everything is always being dragged back to her personal experience. Anecdote is everything.

Introverted functions are quite self-absorbed.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

ISFJs smell like magnolias, while ISFPs smell like sandalwood.

 

[tinker683]

ISFJs are more stubborn (can be verrry stubborn) and they enjoy arranging the external world, both for their own pleasure and to take care of or accomodate others. They are more hesitant or guarded about getting involved or allowing you into their inner circle or what have you, but they're extremely loyal once you are.

Very true, although whats weird for me is how easily and/or how hard I can be to let people in. Some people I'll open up too very quickly and others I'll be very slow to do so. I think it depends on how quickly I think you might be to judge me or hurt me.

ISFJs are actually known for their humor and kindness, so you're more likely to be surprised when the ISFJ gets harsh or controlling with you, or starts reminding you to be sensible.

I actually have an extremely dry and sarcastic sense of humor...once I feel its OK to let my hair down.

And...yeah, being harsh isn't something I like to do but when it happens it's usually very quickly and kind of messy Not exactly something I say with some degree of pride.

I think ISFPs can also be good-humored and kind, making the two appear similar on the outside - you're even wrong about ISFPs more likely to be artists, because ISFJs can be very into aesthetics too, so trust me when I say they can look alike on the surface sometimes but you're far less likely to find the Kindersuprise waiting inside an ISFP that explicitly reads, "ISFJ Knows Best."

Ha! I'd like to think I have an eye for aesthetics but I'll have to let others judge that for me

I have discovered as I get older and my social circle grows, people have begun to confide in me a lot more and I've noted the proclivity of me to take on a sort of "Mother Hen" approach with my friends. I always try and stop myself whenever I start to do that though because I know it isn't a desirable trait to have

ISFJs can even come across as more "rational" or precise at times, I think, because of their Si/Ti. But then that Fe comes out and you see how subjective and mushy they really are.

Guilt as charged

I think Disney Geek's list is good, and Giggly's comment about how ISFJs are both serious and silly is what I was getting at when I said their "strictness" lies underneath their sweetness, funniness, and charm.

Sounds about right, although personally I sometimes feel like I can be the reverse sometimes: Waaaaaay too serious with funny and charm underneath that facade.

I think ISFPs are also more "in the moment" and ISFJs can get "stuck in the past" emotionally more often or take longer to get over things. It's not to say that ISFPs never think of the past, but ISFJs are Si doms so look to the past for the best course of action to take in the present.

Guilty as charged, again.

I think because of Si/Fe ISFJs can seem more "giving" in a practical way, like that's where the stereotype of the ever-serving doormat ISFJ comes from (but that's just a stereotype) Fe is just more others focused, and Si is more practical, so they tend to take care of their loved ones or make sure physical needs are met, that sort of thing. This can be communicated as warmth and support rather than tangibles, though.

This seems consistent with my own behavior. I just hate how I often can't do as much as I'd like for fear that my actions will be misread or misunderstood

ISFPs aren't as "others focused" because of Fi dom, but they can be incredibly nice, so I'm not saying ISFJs are "nicer" I'm just saying they have a tendency to actively connect with others and actively promote harmony because of Fe.

I honestly love ISFJs so don't take any of this as negative, even when I say "ISFJ Knows Best" I can honestly find that kind of thing comforting, like I want them to take care of me.

Women like you are strong enough to where you don't need us to care for you...though we do appreciate you letting us feel like you do

(See what I did there?)

Yes, I think Fe in general is very accomodating to others, so maybe I shouldn't have jumped in with the "stubborn" thing at the beginning of the post. It has just been my experience with SFJs that they can be very stubborn on certain issues that are important to them. I guess anyone can be, but I think ISFJs are more stubborn than ISFPs "on the outside." FPs seem more go-with-the-flow on the outside, but can become exceedingly rigid about Fi internal ethics, where as FJs may look more structured or even stubborn on the outside about certain things, but will have the "accomodating" quality of Fe when it comes down to it, where they don't insist on getting their own way necessarily because they want the people they care about to be happy and there to be harmony in the group.

I don't know enough about Fi to comment on that but everything you said about Fe seems to sound like me. My problem is that often I end up getting taken advantage of as people just to assume that I'll just keep "doing what I'm doing" and won't realize that I was only doing a favor...not looking for an additional task to get heaped onto my shoulders

I should have explained that better. I'm just thinking of several specific SFJ males I know. When they've decided they are right, they are right.

Doesn't happen often but when it does happen...yeah, you're going to need the equivalent of a bullet-train to get me to budge.

I was referring to the way that SFJs often want to create a particular environment - whether that be a clean, pretty, comfortable house (not saying all SFJs are clean, but that's one way it manifests) or creating systems with Si/Ti to keep things organized in another external way, in the outside world, in a more "hands on" way. I say they do this for both their own pleasure, because I think many SJs seem to enjoy order, but SFJs do it also for others, not just for themselves, because these systems they arrange tend to help them to better care for others with their Fe.

Does that make sense?

Perfect. I like keeping my apartment cleaned up and nicely organized because (for some oddball reason) it makes me feel cleaned up, de-cluttered, and organized.

Being in a really messy, disorganized environment has the opposite effect on me. It actually stresses me out to live in a really messy, cluttered up apartment.

Well not all SFJs are the same, not at all. Just because you both use Si/Fe/Ti/Ne doesn't mean you'll have the same exact values or interests at all. Two ISFJs could be VERY different people.

Like Giggly, I'm hardly this massively super-organized person that ISFJs are often stereotyped as (Well, that, or my standards are just higher than most people so what's moderately organized to me is extremely organized to them )

Si collects past experience, facts, and important details and carefully weighs new information against factual or experiential information collected. In this way, Si looks to past experience or a storage of facts in order to make good decisions for today and tomorrow. Si tends to create stability in this manner.

I said this in another thread and I'll say it in this one as well: It genuinely surprised me to learn that some people don't don't rely on past experience to make some calls or decisions. It just seems to be the most common sense way of doing things to me

Okay - I am very clear I have Si rather than Se, and I'm not even an SJ so maybe I can help you here (but maybe not since your Si is in the dom position...). When you have Si you want a depth of understanding about particular subjects. Depth over breadth. Part of what you enjoy about the things you know is that you know extensive details about one particular subject that you love. Or you can listen to your favorite songs over and over again, and have some of the same favorite songs for years, because part of what makes the song so good to you is the memories and sensations you have associated with that piece of music. What is understood in depth over time is more meaningful to you.

Oh shit, you have NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO idea how much you just described me here!

I like the music that I do because I associate that song/album with a time/place/event in my life and every time I hear it it brings me back to that place. It's why I really like old SNES and NES video game music to be honest, it brings me back to being a child and having such a simple life compared to my life as an adult

Your bit about wanting depth is true as well. I can chatter on and on and on and on about stuff I really like or feel very passionate about and that's because I spend hours just googling it and reading it or wikipediaing the subject.

Excellent contributions Marmie!!! Now I just wish you lived closer as I'd like to have tea with you and talk about this sort of stuff

 

[Thalassa]

Women like you are strong enough to where you don't need us to care for you...though we do appreciate you letting us feel like you do

(See what I did there?)

*purrs*

Excellent contributions Marmie!!! Now I just wish you lived closer as I'd like to have tea with you and talk about this sort of stuff

Thank you!

That would be nice.

 

[knight]

sfj`s give off an aura or feeling of security or you are safe.

 

[OrangeAppled]

There's the whole JiPe vs PiJe thing to consider when it comes to being laid-back or stubborn. ISFJs are like ISFPs flipped inside-out and vice versa.

My parents are ISFJ & ISFP....my ISFP step-dad seems easy-going on the surface, but he's actually waaaaaay more stubborn & ornery with family & close friends. My ISFJ mom seems very rigid in her beliefs & serious in her demeanor with acquaintances, but is very easy to, er, influence if you're close to her.

Examples: If in a conversation, a stranger states a belief my ISFJ mom finds offensive, she'll get all huffy puffy & state her opinion firmly in response. But with close family, she'll bend over backwards to accommodate how we feel, adjusting her own feelings to meet ours. She's suddenly quite flexible & adaptable. My ISFP step-dad will just laugh & smile at a stranger who says something offensive. He'll appear indifferent, even amused by it. But with family, he's stubborn, serious, & way more sensitive. He then seems immovable when it comes to what he wants or how he feels.

 

[Giggly]

ISFJs smell like magnolias, while ISFPs smell like sandalwood.

Good one.

There's the whole JiPe vs PiJe thing to consider when it comes to being laid-back or stubborn. ISFJs are like ISFPs flipped inside-out and vice versa.

My parents are ISFJ & ISFP....my ISFP step-dad seems easy-going on the surface, but he's actually waaaaaay more stubborn & ornery with family & close friends. My ISFJ mom seems very rigid in her beliefs & serious in her demeanor with acquaintances, but is very easy to, er, influence if you're close to her.

Examples: If in a conversation, a stranger states a belief my ISFJ mom finds offensive, she'll get all huffy puffy & state her opinion firmly in response. But with close family, she'll bend over backwards to accommodate how we feel, adjusting her own feelings to meet ours. She's suddenly quite flexible & adaptable. My ISFP step-dad will just laugh & smile at a stranger who says something offensive. He'll appear indifferent, even amused by it. But with family, he's stubborn, serious, & way more sensitive. He then seems immovable when it comes to what he wants or how he feels.

Based on this I'm ISFJ.

 

[OmarFW]

An ISFPs cognitive function set is Fi,Se,Ni,Te

An ISFJs is Si,Fe,Ti,Ne

If you know anything about the Jungian functions, you'll know just how different those two sets are. One is JiPe, one is PiJe.

ISFPs and ISFJs don't even use the same functions as each other.

 

[Thalassa]

sfj`s give off an aura or feeling of security or you are safe.

Fe is the devil. It sucks you in and makes you feel safe. Cared for. Next thing you know you're hooked on the SFJ like heroin. You don't even know how it happened. They were just there a lot, hanging out. Now you're hard pressed to manage without an SFJ in your life, the idea of not having one around makes you feel a bit oxygen deficient. How will I get up in the morning and manage through my day, eat and dress myself, without an SFJ?

It's the worst when they turn to you and say, "I don't know what you're on about. I'm just being myself. I didn't do anything to provoke this dependency or attachment."

 

[Giggly]

That would be right about the time the SFJ would chastise you about something or dump some expectation on you and make you run away for dear life. ....Kidding.

I hear that ENFJs have the real manipulative skillz, but I wouldn't know because I don't know any in real life. I know ESFJs though and they couldn't act like you described for the life of them. I almost wish they did. The ones I know are more overbearing, albeit fun to be around.

 

[knight]

Fe is the devil. It sucks you in and makes you feel safe. Cared for. Next thing you know you're hooked on the SFJ like heroin. You don't even know how it happened. They were just there a lot, hanging out. Now you're hard pressed to manage without an SFJ in your life, the idea of not having one around makes you feel a bit oxygen deficient. How will I get up in the morning and manage through my day, eat and dress myself, without an SFJ?

It's the worst when they turn to you and say, "I don't know what you're on about. I'm just being myself. I didn't do anything to provoke this dependency or attachment."

 

[Thalassa]

That would be right about the time the SFJ would chastise you about something or dump some expectation on you and make you run away for dear life. ....Kidding.

I hear that ENFJs have the real manipulative skillz, but I wouldn't know because I don't know any in real life. I know ESFJs though and they couldn't act like you described for the life of them. I almost wish they did. The ones I know are more overbearing, albeit fun to be around.

That's weird because my ENFJ sister has the total subtle manipulation skills. My sister is the messiah, I swear. So yeah, I agree with that.

But my ESFJ ex could pull that off, and yes I think ISFJs can too.

You don't realize the power you have on people who susceptible to Fe. Maybe I am an Fi dom. Fe is like my kryptonite.

 

[SilkRoad]

I think a lot of the comments here already have been pretty accurate.

I have one friend who I'm pretty sure is ISFP and another who I'm pretty sure is ISFJ (or maybe ISTJ...but if so she's an F-ish ISTJ.)

The ISFP has a wide circle of friends and acquaintances, likes going out dancing and for drinks (relaxation-wise, she'd rather do that than sit around gabbing for hours), loves children but is a bit cynical about men/commitment, is a bit ditzy on occasion and even a tad flaky. (She admits, for instance, that she gets antsy if people don't answer her text messages pretty quickly, but if I text her I don't expect to hear from her for quite a while...) She really comes across quite extroverted but what she really loves is going off and getting stuck into her painting and drawing - she's a very talented artist. She occasionally gets upset about things (inconsiderate behaviour, that sort of thing) but usually moves on from it pretty quickly. She's almost the definition of laid-back inside and outside, to me (she tells me I'm very laid-back too, but she knows me well enough by now to know that I can get very wound up and anxious internally.) She's in her late twenties (a few years younger than me) and she said to me not long ago "You know, recently I had basically my first crisis ever...I think it has to do with 30 getting closer." She said it very matter of factly. LIke, she's never really been depressed or worked up or agitated or really disturbed about something...man...I can believe it, but I felt jealous.

The ISFJ has a quirky sense of humour and has areas of speciality where she collects, knows everything on the subject, etc (including ABBA, Hercule Poirot and horses!). She knows quite a lot of people but has few who she actively spends a lot of time with or devoting energy to their concerns. With those, though, she will put in a lot of time and caring effort. As someone else said already, though, she can be very caring and supportive and then get quite hardcore/tough love sometimes (probably for a good reason, though she has misinterpreted me sometimes) and that can be a bit of a shock. Similarly, she's very understanding and tolerant in some areas but can be rigid and almost narrow-minded in others. And for the most part, she LOVES sitting around gabbing for hours.

I think myself I'd be more likely to mistake an ISFP for an INFP or maybe an ENFP. In the case of the one I know I've also considered ISTP since she can be quite hard-nosed but I think she is too sensitive to the needs of children, for one thing. She's not really a thrill seeker either (how I think of ISTP) though she does love to have fun.

I would be more likely to mistake an ISFJ for an ISTJ or INFJ. (In my case, if I sometimes come across as a type other than INFJ, I'm pretty sure it's ISFJ rather than INTJ, although INTJ is probably a more common mistyping for INFJ.)

 

[Giggly]

There's the whole JiPe vs PiJe thing to consider when it comes to being laid-back or stubborn. ISFJs are like ISFPs flipped inside-out and vice versa.

My parents are ISFJ & ISFP....my ISFP step-dad seems easy-going on the surface, but he's actually waaaaaay more stubborn & ornery with family & close friends. My ISFJ mom seems very rigid in her beliefs & serious in her demeanor with acquaintances, but is very easy to, er, influence if you're close to her.

Examples: If in a conversation, a stranger states a belief my ISFJ mom finds offensive, she'll get all huffy puffy & state her opinion firmly in response. But with close family, she'll bend over backwards to accommodate how we feel, adjusting her own feelings to meet ours. She's suddenly quite flexible & adaptable. My ISFP step-dad will just laugh & smile at a stranger who says something offensive. He'll appear indifferent, even amused by it. But with family, he's stubborn, serious, & way more sensitive. He then seems immovable when it comes to what he wants or how he feels.

I think a lot of the comments here already have been pretty accurate.

I have one friend who I'm pretty sure is ISFP and another who I'm pretty sure is ISFJ (or maybe ISTJ...but if so she's an F-ish ISTJ.)

The ISFP has a wide circle of friends and acquaintances, likes going out dancing and for drinks (relaxation-wise, she'd rather do that than sit around gabbing for hours), loves children but is a bit cynical about men/commitment, is a bit ditzy on occasion and even a tad flaky. (She admits, for instance, that she gets antsy if people don't answer her text messages pretty quickly, but if I text her I don't expect to hear from her for quite a while...) She really comes across quite extroverted but what she really loves is going off and getting stuck into her painting and drawing - she's a very talented artist. She occasionally gets upset about things (inconsiderate behaviour, that sort of thing) but usually moves on from it pretty quickly. She's almost the definition of laid-back inside and outside, to me (she tells me I'm very laid-back too, but she knows me well enough by now to know that I can get very wound up and anxious internally.) She's in her late twenties (a few years younger than me) and she said to me not long ago "You know, recently I had basically my first crisis ever...I think it has to do with 30 getting closer." She said it very matter of factly. LIke, she's never really been depressed or worked up or agitated or really disturbed about something...man...I can believe it, but I felt jealous.

The ISFJ has a quirky sense of humour and has areas of speciality where she collects, knows everything on the subject, etc (including ABBA, Hercule Poirot and horses!). She knows quite a lot of people but has few who she actively spends a lot of time with or devoting energy to their concerns. With those, though, she will put in a lot of time and caring effort. As someone else said already, though, she can be very caring and supportive and then get quite hardcore/tough love sometimes (probably for a good reason, though she has misinterpreted me sometimes) and that can be a bit of a shock. Similarly, she's very understanding and tolerant in some areas but can be rigid and almost narrow-minded in others. And for the most part, she LOVES sitting around gabbing for hours.

I think myself I'd be more likely to mistake an ISFP for an INFP or maybe an ENFP. In the case of the one I know I've also considered ISTP since she can be quite hard-nosed but I think she is too sensitive to the needs of children, for one thing. She's not really a thrill seeker either (how I think of ISTP) though she does love to have fun.

I would be more likely to mistake an ISFJ for an ISTJ or INFJ. (In my case, if I sometimes come across as a type other than INFJ, I'm pretty sure it's ISFJ rather than INTJ, although INTJ is probably a more common mistyping for INFJ.)

Thanks OrangeAppled and Silkroad. These were helpful to read. Again, it seems I relate more to the ISFJs in these stories.

 

[NegativeZero]

My girlfriend is an ISFJ and one of my best friends is an ISFP. My advice would be to determine whether they are introverted or extroverted sensors.

 

[Crescent Fresh]

I think ISFPs are also more "in the moment" and ISFJs can get "stuck in the past" emotionally more often or take longer to get over things. It's not to say that ISFPs never think of the past, but ISFJs are Si doms so look to the past for the best course of action to take in the present.

Is this a common J/P traits that applies to NFs also?

 

[Mal12345]

other than the fact that ISFPs are supposed to be artists, what are some other ways of telling the difference?

I agree with Marmie above that the ISFJs can also be quite aesthetic. This not only matches my experience of them, it correlates with the fact that the ISFJ, as an E1w2 personality, starts to deteriorate to 4 at the average levels of functioning.

And I wonder how many ISFPs really are artistic. I know one who is, and one who isn't. The one who is artistic works as a carpenter to make money, and side-lines as a window artist on the holidays. He dresses like a beach bum most of the time, although there is no real beach around, and reads magazines about Hawaii. He plants a garden every year and started some bamboo growing in his backyard - big mistake.

Two ISFJs that I've known were both females. Their households were neat as a pin, and one of them preferred antique over modern furniture. The other one played piano really well and in college majored in voice. The first one was a social worker, the second one just took various jobs to lend a little financial support to the household on top of her husband's income. She was also chairman of the local Chamber of Commerce.

 

[Elfboy]

- ISFJs are organized, ISFPs are messy
- ISFJs plan in advance, ISFPs are spontaneous
- ISFJs are usually pretty conventional, ISFPs are not
- ISFPs can be very flamboyant
- Se vs Si
- Fe vs Fi
- ISFJs are more likely to want to talk to you just to be polite and friendly, ISFPs usually won't show interest in you unless you have something in common. they're not likely to talk to you out of sheer social obligation

 

[Mal12345]

- ISFJs are organized, ISFPs are messy
- ISFJs plan in advance, ISFPs are spontaneous
- ISFJs are usually pretty conventional, ISFPs are not
- ISFPs can be very flamboyant
- Se vs Si
- Fe vs Fi
- ISFJs are more likely to want to talk to you just to be polite and friendly, ISFPs usually won't show interest in you unless you have something in common. they're not likely to talk to you out of sheer social obligation

I agree with everything there. I just want to add that although ISFJs are conventional, they tend to tack on a unique perspective to their fashion tastes and housing decor. It's just a little something to say, as it were, "I may be conventional in most of my tastes but I do save a little individualism back just for my own personal enjoyment."

The ESFJ, on the other hand, is more fully conventional.