How to show an ENFJ I like her

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

Isn't this true for every woman

Don't look at other women. Don't talk to other women.




Don't look other women you INTP !

I had guys too who could not bear me to smile to other guys, even if I had no sexual intention...

I found this jealousy very sad.

It isn't jealousy. It is about lust. Lust is a never ending cycle that needs more and more to feel fulfilled, like any addiction or perversion.

I have lived with a person who was lustful. Mildly, but lustful nonetheless. It is tiresome. I will never do well with that, and choose not to live with anyone who lusts again. I'd rather be alone.

BtW, not all people lust. I do not. And I trust there exist men who do not as well.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

It isn't jealousy. It is about lust. Lust is a never ending cycle that needs more and more to feel fulfilled, like any addiction or perversion.

I have lived with a person who was lustful. Mildly, but lustful nonetheless. It is tiresome. I will never do well with that, and choose not to live with anyone who lusts again. I'd rather be alone.

BtW, not all people lust. I do not. And I trust there exist men who do not as well.

Well...I'm quite suspicious there...Not about you as you speak about what you don't want anymore in your life, with consciousness.

I'm talking here about the average man.



I don't know how to see when a person "lusts". Some men/women are not even able to feel some real and sincere desire for a man/woman and already fantasy

about every breathing creature that has two legs

(and mainly a dick or 2 boobs!) !!! The contrary of romanticism !


Some people (those who are not listening to their own feelings_or because they have none !) are always directed towards the outside.

I also want to add something very important : you can lust and be very silent and seem quiet even if ...some obvious signs will show (ONLY) to an observant person "who you are" !

You can love people, humanity and be an extrovert, totally sincere and some people will think you lust/seduce.

Because most of the time, jealousy/lust can be a single projection of the person in front and of her/his unconscious desires.

Even worse : those people who think you are the same as them / because they think the world is as they see it !


Let's go back to our INTP lustful man

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

Well...I'm quite suspicious there...Not about you as you speak about what you don't want anymore in your life, with consciousness.

I'm talking here about the average man.



I don't know how to see when a person "lusts". Some men/women are not even able to feel some real and sincere desire for a man/woman and already fantasy

about every breathing creature that has two legs

(and mainly a dick or 2 boobs!) !!! The contrary of romanticism !


Some people (those who are not listening to their own feelings_or because they have none !) are always directed towards the outside.

I also want to add something very important : you can lust and be very silent and seem quiet even if ...some obvious signs will show (ONLY) to an observant person "who you are" !

You can love people, humanity and be an extrovert, totally sincere and some people will think you lust/seduce.

Because most of the time, jealousy/lust can be a single projection of the person in front and of her/his unconscious desires.

Even worse : those people who think you are the same as them / because they think the world is as they see it !


Let's go back to our INTP lustful man

I'm sorry, I did not follow you very well.

I know lustful behavior when I am around it. Basically it is how our modern world is. It is so entrenched in who we are as a culture, we think it is normal and goodly behavior.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

I'm sorry, I did not follow you very well.

I know lustful behavior when I am around it. Basically it is how our modern world is. It is so entrenched in who we are as a culture, we think it is normal and goodly behavior.

I see...

Well, I was trying to translate my ideas from french to english I hope you got the big lines out from my message !

 

[Kheledon]

Isn't this true for every woman

Nope. My wife focused all of her attention on me. I was the victim. She was the aggressor.

I think Gulenko is onto something, here.

Socionics - the16types.info - Socionics Romancing Styles

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

Nope. My wife focused all of her attention on me. I was the victim. She was the aggressor.

I think Gulenko is onto something, here.

Socionics - the16types.info - Socionics Romancing Styles

Lucky victim

 

[Kheledon]

Lucky victim

Victim has its advantages, particularly if you are a beautiful specimen (you'll have lots of offers). It also has its downside. You don't get to choose. Instead, you are chosen.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

Victim has its advantages, particularly if you are a beautiful specimen (you'll have lots of offers). It also has its downside. You don't get to choose. Instead, you are chosen.

Should we refer to the socionic type or the MBTI type ? It seems my socionic type doesn't teach me things that concern me personally.

 

[Kheledon]

Should we refer to the socionic type or the MBTI type ? It seems my socionic type doesn't teach me things that concern me personally.

I wouldn't presume to tell you what you should do. For me, Socionics is more valuable because it is all about what matters most to me ... loving relationships.

 

[Staria]

Hi. I'm an ENFJ female. Yes, when given the opportunity we talk...alot. Lol. To get to know us is very easy, but to get us to like you as more than just a friend requires your attention. We love to be admired. Mentally and physically. We lend a good ear, but we'll really like you if you lend one back. Be interested in us, show it and especially, say it. I don't beat around the bush with a guy I like. Don't get me wrong though. Just cause I talk to you, find you interesting and think your cute, doesn't always mean I'm into you for a date. Guys usually get the signals crossed. If we keep coming back to talk to you, then there's definitely an interest. If we avoid you and we kniw you're in the room then there's definitely something wrong. We're doing avoidance for a purpose. Not interested. We like Flirty talk when it comes to someone we like. If you go that direction and she doesn't engage then back off. You're only in friend mode. If you get the Flirty signal back, then it's a go to ask us out. Mostly on our terms when it come to choice. I know that sucks, but we kniw what we want and will pretty let you know immediately.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

Well, some women don't believe in flirting. Like myself. So flirting can be a bad signal for guys to go on for all women.

Though I do agree with most of the other things you say.

 

[Kheledon]

Hi. I'm an ENFJ female. Yes, when given the opportunity we talk...alot. Lol. To get to know us is very easy, but to get us to like you as more than just a friend requires your attention. We love to be admired. Mentally and physically. We lend a good ear, but we'll really like you if you lend one back. Be interested in us, show it and especially, say it. I don't beat around the bush with a guy I like. Don't get me wrong though. Just cause I talk to you, find you interesting and think your cute, doesn't always mean I'm into you for a date. Guys usually get the signals crossed. If we keep coming back to talk to you, then there's definitely an interest. If we avoid you and we kniw you're in the room then there's definitely something wrong. We're doing avoidance for a purpose. Not interested. We like Flirty talk when it comes to someone we like. If you go that direction and she doesn't engage then back off. You're only in friend mode. If you get the Flirty signal back, then it's a go to ask us out. Mostly on our terms when it come to choice. I know that sucks, but we kniw what we want and will pretty let you know immediately.

Nifty. And welcome, [MENTION=27712]Staria[/MENTION]! :hi:

 

[INTP!]

She didn't end up showing up to the event, so I have not idea when I'll see her again. I'm not really disappointed about it though. Just thought I'd give an update.

 

[INTP!]

I saw her yesterday. It was different for me since I hadn't seen her for a while. She did the usual initiating conversation. We caught up. She's moving soon. Looking for a place. And it looks like very close to where I live. I was friendly but also made a point to talk to other people. Not hitting on anyone or interested. Just talking.

We are acting more familiar around each other like it would be natural to hang out one on one. Will probably bring that up next time. At this point it would be long distance and we both are prett busy. But when we are living close I'll talk about meeting up one on one for something.

 

[INTP!]

Hi. I'm an ENFJ female. Yes, when given the opportunity we talk...alot. Lol. To get to know us is very easy, but to get us to like you as more than just a friend requires your attention. We love to be admired. Mentally and physically. We lend a good ear, but we'll really like you if you lend one back. Be interested in us, show it and especially, say it. I don't beat around the bush with a guy I like. Don't get me wrong though. Just cause I talk to you, find you interesting and think your cute, doesn't always mean I'm into you for a date. Guys usually get the signals crossed. If we keep coming back to talk to you, then there's definitely an interest. If we avoid you and we kniw you're in the room then there's definitely something wrong. We're doing avoidance for a purpose. Not interested. We like Flirty talk when it comes to someone we like. If you go that direction and she doesn't engage then back off. You're only in friend mode. If you get the Flirty signal back, then it's a go to ask us out. Mostly on our terms when it come to choice. I know that sucks, but we kniw what we want and will pretty let you know immediately.

Thanks for this. She doesn't avoid me at all. When I see her I don't go to her right away. I'm kind of reserved. She will go up to me and we talk for a while. Then we both talk to other people. I make the point of not trying to talk to her all the time. Because I'm trying to play it cool and because I rhino she likes talking to other people so I let her. And I occupy myself by talking to other people. But I also go back and ask her a couple questions here and there. Anyway. I am not obviously flirting. But I may be showing I like her because no one can complete hide that, especially to someone w good people skills

 

[INTP!]

lol. This is the same prototype thread that has been circulating Type C for half a dozen years! It will go on for 100 pages, and everyone will just end up frustrated with you because you won't ask her out and then the thread will finally die.

Just ask her out already!! Then tell us how it goes.

I don't think it will be like that. I met her only 3 time sat a point in our lives where we are in transition and both probably not looking but met someone we like so the pace is ok. We will be living very close soon so next time I see herd I will probably talk about doing something one on one. It would seem natural at that point.

 

[human101]

ENFJ are great at reading people, and are great at subtly controlling conversation the tone, content etc They love conversation almost as a hobby, they are great conversationalist and really enjoy sharing their thoughts, feelings, dreams, observations. This might make them hard to read especially for INTPs because they can enjoy great conversation and not have feelings for you but for them to have feelings for you, there has to be some great conversation between you two. I think ENFJ women like to be friends with a guy before intimacy, because they take time to really know how they feel about a single individual. I think it's also difficult to make an impression on NFJ women because they are focused on connection as a whole with people before anything else. They will usually drop hints, but you will probably have to ask her out and be direct.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

[MENTION=8437]human101[/MENTION] You always advise to be direct

I don't think an INTP asking for advise is ready to be direct....look at me, even being an extrovert I wonder what could be the best !!

Imagine an introvert with a rational mind [MENTION=27688]INTP![/MENTION] What have you been doing with that girl

at the moment ?

Maybe I'll take advise for my own situation near by that INTP now

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

I don't think it will be like that. I met her only 3 time sat a point in our lives where we are in transition and both probably not looking but met someone we like so the pace is ok. We will be living very close soon so next time I see herd I will probably talk about doing something one on one. It would seem natural at that point.

Don't worry, in such situation (seduction) everybody wanna seem natural but we all suck

The situation is awkward until you can be sure the other one is into you as well.

I may be showing I like her because no one can complete hide that, especially to someone w good people skills

So did she show some signs ? I think you are too much discrete to show an extrovert lady some interest.

But that is some generality and it depends on many other stuffs.

You are INTP and you don't flirt enough, you are reserved and probably very polite. I'd advise you to use your witty spirit

I am ESFP, a guy who is interested can think I like to flirt and have fun with anybody (I just enjoy high energy), if he misunderstands me.

I'm the contrary of you in a way...

 

[uumlau]

I don't think it will be like that. I met her only 3 time sat a point in our lives where we are in transition and both probably not looking but met someone we like so the pace is ok. We will be living very close soon so next time I see herd I will probably talk about doing something one on one. It would seem natural at that point.

Just say something like, "Every time we meet, we always seem to have wonderful conversations. Would you care to continue those conversations over a cup of coffee?"

There's your one-on-one without sounding like you overanalyzed it.

For the record, this tends to work with anyone of any type who happens to be interested in you, not just ENFJs. If they're not interested in you, their answer of "No, thank you" should be taken as confirmation of that lack of interest. Simple, no?