[ISFP] How to Capture the Heart of an ISFP

[Spamtar]

I don't want to address any specific target of affection but rather ISFPs in general. How best to capture their heart?

For example

1. Where are good places to take them?

2. How do they like to interact with people who are romancing them?

3. What makes them particularly happy?

4. What makes them particularly mad?

5. When is it important for their lover to give them space and for how long?

6. How do they feel about themselves and others while they begin to feel they are falling in love?

7. What resistance do they have with their heart being captured?

8. What signs do they show when they are falling in love?

9. Any other observations?

 

[Spamtar]

Ok I will give it a shot to get it started. A lot of this applies to everyone but these points I feel are especially applicable to the ISFP lover/date.

1. Where are good places to take them? Places that illicit the senses. Art fairs, nature (i.e. botanic gardens, beach, lake, mountains), tasty dining with nice atmosphere and friendly service, new cities, small parties with kids and animals, not too overpowering nightclubs.

2. How do they like to interact with people who are romancing them? they seem to show affection more than talk about it, they like when affection and positive attention is paid to them, they are a bit sensitive to harsh critique than other, they like to avoid conflict, seem pretty open to kino/tactile pleasure although they may be shy at first so take baby steps but once they get in the groove go for it (when they go from 15mph to 100)

3. What makes them particularly happy? They like their space and their privacy, they especially like to be thought of well and deem physically attractive, the love to laugh, they seem to be pretty open for the occasional challenge (like a kitty chasing a string).

4. What makes them particularly mad? Bogged down with too much theory (although they seem to be ok with a taste here and there), Harsh controlling behavior, people who are rude to them, confinement, being ignored for too long, inconsiderate behavior, vulgarity, windbags, over reactors, tightwads, bumblers, moralizers, inferiority complex cases, and suffocators.

5. When is it important for their lover to give them space and for how long? They like a stable flow of attention with occasional sudden high peaks. They like to be though of often but not to be reminded of it too often.

6. How do they feel about themselves and others while they begin to feel they are falling in love? They tend to jump into it more abruptly than most.

7. What resistance do they have with their heart being captured? Often conflicting values or subjects of affection, friendships, family can be a challenge. They seem to compartmentalize their affections focus strongly on the present of 'loving the one they are with' or otherwise 'out of sight (or senses) out of mind'.

8. What signs do they show when they are falling in love? easier to see if they are attracted to someone or very impressed or friendly which is easy to see vs. love (which is harder to see).

9. Any other observations? They are fun and nice to be around however if you a big time thinker or you need a lot of detailed advice you may wish to keep some friends handy who are proficient in this area.

 

[Jeffster]

Oh, good. You answered your own questions.

/topic

 

[Sunny Ghost]

Oh, good. You answered your own questions.

/topic

Ok I will give it a shot to get it started. A lot of this applies to everyone but these points I feel are especially applicable to the ISFP lover/date.

1. Where are good places to take them? Places that illicit the senses. Art fairs, nature (i.e. botanic gardens, beach, lake, mountains), tasty dining with nice atmosphere and friendly service, new cities, small parties with kids and animals, not too overpowering nightclubs.

I would also add, dates that are just plain fun, or have a splash of spontaneity and adventure.

2. How do they like to interact with people who are romancing them? they seem to show affection more than talk about it, they like when affection and positive attention is paid to them, they are a bit sensitive to harsh critique than other, they like to avoid conflict, seem pretty open to kino/tactile pleasure although they may be shy at first so take baby steps but once they get in the groove go for it (when they go from 15mph to 100)

I'm not sure what kino/tactile pleasure means...
If we're interested & excited, I think we show it in our burst of energy. We are more likely to kiss or hug you, than to express "i love you." We may leave cute gifts, notes, drawings, or pick flowers for you. Cook for you, or massage you. Words often feel cheap, so we use action to express our feelings. So our partners, too, must stay in tune with their senses and what we may offer non-verbally. Likewise, even if you say "i love you" to us... we need the body language, facial expressions, gestures that also suggest so to back it up.

3. What makes them particularly happy? They like their space and their privacy, they especially like to be thought of well and deem physically attractive, the love to laugh, they seem to be pretty open for the occasional challenge (like a kitty chasing a string).

I don't think I'm terribly difficult to please. Laughter, sunshine and kisses. Haha!

4. What makes them particularly mad? Bogged down with too much theory (although they seem to be ok with a taste here and there), Harsh controlling behavior, people who are rude to them, confinement, being ignored for too long, inconsiderate behavior, vulgarity, windbags, over reactors, tightwads, bumblers, moralizers, inferiority complex cases, and suffocators.

All of the above. We can be quite understanding & tolerant, however, if we know why a person may behave in these peculiar ways. For example, I hate when people fight and nit pick at one another, and two of my friends were doing this to one another. However, I knew the situation of the friend who was being particularly aggressive. He's been depressed and in quite a bind for a few months now and appears to be taking it out on others who are a little better off. So, I sympathized and let it slide, and instead tried to talk to him about his situation.
I hate, hate, hate, when people act fake or put on a persona. Once again, I can dismiss this in some people... depending upon the mask they decide they want to wear. But I don't react too kindly to masks that people use to put their own self up on a pedastool. I don't like big ego's and cockiness, and am quick to call people out on it in my own quick witted and subtle way.
I also dislike small minds. I prefer to keep an open mind when meeting others, and ideally expect the same of others. I will argue with you on your opinions, no matter how stubborn you are, because I am just as stubborn when it comes to these types of topics. ISFP's love people for their differences, and just wish we could all get along despite them. Haha.

5. When is it important for their lover to give them space and for how long? They like a stable flow of attention with occasional sudden high peaks. They like to be though of often but not to be reminded of it too often.

When I was in a relationship with another introvert, it was really easy... we never had to worry about giving the other too much or too little space. We both had our own interests or things that we wanted to go off and do by ourselves, and so it was never a concern or debate. I say to anyone dating an ISFP... just live your own life and find hobbies or interests that you want to engorge yourself into. Instead of spending every moment together, go off and do your own thing... see if your ISFP wants to grab a quick lunch together, and then part ways again for the rest of the day... but maybe stay in contact through occasional texts. Show your up to your own thing, and not just killing time until you can see your ISFP again.

6. How do they feel about themselves and others while they begin to feel they are falling in love? They tend to jump into it more abruptly than most.

We don't think, we just fall. And if we are thinking, we're thinking about how hard and fast we're falling, and how wonderful that wind blowing past us in the current moment feels.

7. What resistance do they have with their heart being captured? Often conflicting values or subjects of affection, friendships, family can be a challenge. They seem to compartmentalize their affections focus strongly on the present of 'loving the one they are with' or otherwise 'out of sight (or senses) out of mind'.

I don't know about other ISFP's, but when I truly love someone, I give my mind/body/soul. I don't even allow my mind to wander. So, one must be deserving of the love that I give.

8. What signs do they show when they are falling in love? easier to see if they are attracted to someone or very impressed or friendly which is easy to see vs. love (which is harder to see).

eager excitement. depending on the person though, we might play it cool.

9. Any other observations? They are fun and nice to be around however if you a big time thinker or you need a lot of detailed advice you may wish to keep some friends handy who are proficient in this area.

We are also, just plain awesome at living out beautiful lives. If the ISFP comes off shallow, then they probably just aren't allowing you in through their walls. We're incredibly sensitive, sensual, excitable, fun, loving people, that love the natural world for what it is, empathetic, and want to make the world a beautiful and peaceful place.

 

[Jeffster]

There was actually a kinda similar thread a while back about how do you make an ISFP fall in love.

I answered it thusly:

"Making me fall in love really only takes two things:

1. Give me lots of attention
2. Be awesome.

One way of doing #2 is by doing #1. Other ways include giggling a lot, talking cute, twirling your hair, banging your head to the music, putting your bare feet up on the dash, singing happy songs, being goofy, putting your head on my shoulder, smelling nice, suggesting goofy activities, wearing tight colorful clothes, looking at me with wide eyes, complimenting my musical knowledge and overall awesomeness, giving me random little gifts (especially ones you made like made out of paper with markers and colors and writing on it that says stuff like "Special Jeff"), drinking a large amount of soda and then either belching loudly or saying "ahhhhhh" in a very refreshing way, doing jumping jacks or various cheerleader routines, watching movies with me, eating buttery popcorn and licking the butter off your fingers, spinning around in a circle until you're dizzy and falling down, giving me a back/shoulder rub, cleaning my apartment, cooking good food for me, making me a yummy smoothie, saying random stuff, calling me goofy names you came up with, sucking the spaghetti up into your mouth, playing video games, talking like Simpsons characters, talking and playing with my son, cutting my son's hair, jumping on a trampoline, wearing camo, kicking and punching the air like you're doing martial arts, actually doing martial arts, catching the rain with your tongue, eating an ice cream cone upside down, valuing life, praying with me, listening to music with me, whispering in my ear, going to waterparks with me in your hot swimsuit, playing beach volleyball, coloring, surprising me, letting me surprise you, smiling, laughing, holding my hand, winking at me, making up funny words, talking in weird voices for extended periods of time, giving gifts to strangers, riding the shopping cart down the aisle (wheeeeeeeeeeee!), spontaneously declaring a thumb war, making me breakfast, calling me on the phone to ask questions about stuff i know or just to tell me you were thinking about me, skipping, saying something would be better with nougat, writing my name on a balloon and giving it to me, going to church with me, introducing me to people, kissing me in random places, kicking your shoes off, pointing out my sexiness, stopping to feed squirrels, playing songs on the jukebox, eating hot dogs, cheering for our sports teams or Morgan's teams, listening to the radio with me, working out with me (preferably in awesome tight workout outfit), spelling words with the letters in your alpha-bits, wearing your hair in different cute ways, gently head-butting me in the chest, enjoying monster truck shows, telling me what's on your mind, crying when it's time to, letting me cheer you up, watching the sunset with me, giving me that look that says you can see deep into my soul and hear every bit of the light and the darkness and the fear and the insanity and the spirit and you still want to be with me as much as ever.

So, yeah, it's not too difficult. There's so many ways, and so little time. Get busy. "

 

[Quinlan]

Use a large knife, a ladel and an empty fish bowl.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

There was actually a kinda similar thread a while back about how do you make an ISFP fall in love.

I answered it thusly:

"Making me fall in love really only takes two things:

1. Give me lots of attention
2. Be awesome.

One way of doing #2 is by doing #1. Other ways include giggling a lot, talking cute, twirling your hair, banging your head to the music, putting your bare feet up on the dash, singing happy songs, being goofy, putting your head on my shoulder, smelling nice, suggesting goofy activities, wearing tight colorful clothes, looking at me with wide eyes, complimenting my musical knowledge and overall awesomeness, giving me random little gifts (especially ones you made like made out of paper with markers and colors and writing on it that says stuff like "Special Jeff"), drinking a large amount of soda and then either belching loudly or saying "ahhhhhh" in a very refreshing way, doing jumping jacks or various cheerleader routines, watching movies with me, eating buttery popcorn and licking the butter off your fingers, spinning around in a circle until you're dizzy and falling down, giving me a back/shoulder rub, cleaning my apartment, cooking good food for me, making me a yummy smoothie, saying random stuff, calling me goofy names you came up with, sucking the spaghetti up into your mouth, playing video games, talking like Simpsons characters, talking and playing with my son, cutting my son's hair, jumping on a trampoline, wearing camo, kicking and punching the air like you're doing martial arts, actually doing martial arts, catching the rain with your tongue, eating an ice cream cone upside down, valuing life, praying with me, listening to music with me, whispering in my ear, going to waterparks with me in your hot swimsuit, playing beach volleyball, coloring, surprising me, letting me surprise you, smiling, laughing, holding my hand, winking at me, making up funny words, talking in weird voices for extended periods of time, giving gifts to strangers, riding the shopping cart down the aisle (wheeeeeeeeeeee!), spontaneously declaring a thumb war, making me breakfast, calling me on the phone to ask questions about stuff i know or just to tell me you were thinking about me, skipping, saying something would be better with nougat, writing my name on a balloon and giving it to me, going to church with me, introducing me to people, kissing me in random places, kicking your shoes off, pointing out my sexiness, stopping to feed squirrels, playing songs on the jukebox, eating hot dogs, cheering for our sports teams or Morgan's teams, listening to the radio with me, working out with me (preferably in awesome tight workout outfit), spelling words with the letters in your alpha-bits, wearing your hair in different cute ways, gently head-butting me in the chest, enjoying monster truck shows, telling me what's on your mind, crying when it's time to, letting me cheer you up, watching the sunset with me, giving me that look that says you can see deep into my soul and hear every bit of the light and the darkness and the fear and the insanity and the spirit and you still want to be with me as much as ever.

So, yeah, it's not too difficult. There's so many ways, and so little time. Get busy. "

these are pretty adorable, special jeff.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

Use a large knife, a ladel and an empty fish bowl.

ah ha ha ha. i love my fellow ISFP's.

btw. please don't go edgar allen poe on your lady friend.