[NT] How narcissistic are you (aware that you are)?

[FemMecha]

That is interesting - does this mean that an empath who is succumbing under weight of it all (because they take on the pain of others but do not necessarily know yet how to regulate the intensity, detach and actually have the distance needed to address and resolve that pain, so it accumulates instead) and finally does turn to themselves and can no longer contain the eruption would temporarily become narcissistic?

I have no idea, but that's a good question. I don't think there is as much information about empathic qualities as there is about narcissistic. I somewhat doubt that it could do a complete reversal from either side to the other, but I really don't know.

I did hear a psychologist describe the narcissist as a "damaged" individual, and a person functioning like an empath as having "damaged boundaries".

 

[Amargith]

I have no idea, but that's a good question. I don't think there is as much information about empathic qualities as there is about narcissistic. I somewhat doubt that it could do a complete reversal from either side to the other, but I really don't know.

I did hear a psychologist describe the narcissist as a "damaged" individual, and a person functioning like an empath as having "damaged boundaries".

Aren't codependent people - who often have narcissistic parents and siblings - often empathic though as a survival mechanism (if I learn to read their needs and wants and placate them, I'll be able to control my environment somewhat)? And aren't they too broken people, though?

I'm wondering if they're two sides of the same coin, tbh

It's interesting that a similar situation can produce such extremely different survival strategies, since codependents tend to be overly focused on others and the most distinct trains of a narcissist is the lack of empathy. A psychologist I know also added that her narcissistic patients display a distinct need to be superior, and would tell her how to do her job and question her competence, backed by research they'd find online.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

That is interesting - does this mean that an empath who is succumbing under weight of it all (because they take on the pain of others but do not necessarily know yet how to regulate the intensity, detach and actually have the distance needed to address and resolve that pain, so it accumulates instead) and finally does turn to themselves and can no longer contain the eruption would temporarily become narcissistic?

Maybe they need to do so.

As an empath who tried to just pretend I couldn't feel the emotions of others most of my life, and instead just know them, the shock I had accepting this last summer was unreal. I was flooded with extreme emotions from my family. It was often traumatic, especially with my sons and wife experiencing extreme mental health issues.

My very real transition to sanity here was first separating my emotions from others. Then developing increased self-love. I needed to love myself and my own emotions much more in order to find peace.

Self-love is the cure for co-dependency. It also helps empaths find a balance. You can only truly love others as much as you love yourself.

 

[cascadeco]

I'm wondering if they're two sides of the same coin, tbh

It's interesting that a similar situation can produce such extremely different survival strategies, since codependents tend to be overly focused on others and the most distinct trains of a narcissist is the lack of empathy. A psychologist I know also added that her narcissistic patients display a distinct need to be superior, and would tell her how to do her job and question her competence, backed by research they'd find online.

The over extension of self and focus on others though does mean in a sense the codependent is overly protecting self and getting a strong sense of self via an idea of being selfless and the whole white knight thing, and fear of being looked negatively on by focusing more on self, so in that sense I can see them being two sides of the same coin. Both are strongly tied to a certain image of themselves ( and for the codependent, a definite role being played) and not wanting to shatter that? Kind of similar to the whole 'nice guy' role, where it is often about him and then he becoming bitter when his niceness isn't 'enough', and so on.

 

[FemMecha]

Aren't codependent people - who often have narcissistic parents and siblings - often empathic though as a survival mechanism (if I learn to read their needs and wants and placate them, I'll be able to control my environment somewhat)? And aren't they too broken people, though?

I'm wondering if they're two sides of the same coin, tbh

It's interesting that a similar situation can produce such extremely different survival strategies, since codependents tend to be overly focused on others and the most distinct trains of a narcissist is the lack of empathy. A psychologist I know also added that her narcissistic patients display a distinct need to be superior, and would tell her how to do her job and question her competence, backed by research they'd find online.

These are some interesting insights you have, and I suspect the parallels are significant.

The main fundamental difference I would suspect is that the narcissist is much, much harder to correct clinically. That issue seems like granite. It is a coping mechanism that is unlikely to perceive a need to change, and so it is much more locked in. An unhealthy empath would be more like water, molding to the requirements of others, and because of that malleable nature, it may be much easier to correct in therapy. So, from the perspective of the psychologist, the two conditions may be fundamentally different, even if they share theoretical parallels? That is how I understood the "damaged person" vs. "damaged boundaries".

The over extension of self and focus on others though does mean in a sense the codependent is overly protecting self and getting a strong sense of self via an idea of being selfless and the whole white knight thing, and fear of being looked negatively on by focusing more on self, so in that sense I can see them being two sides of the same coin. Both are strongly tied to a certain image of themselves ( and for the codependent, a definite role being played) and not wanting to shatter that? Kind of similar to the whole 'nice guy' role, where it is often about him and then he becoming bitter when his niceness isn't 'enough', and so on.

This likely defines a great many dynamics involving the unhealthy boundary issue. I think there is a way that the co-dependent, loss of personal boundary role can be pushed even beyond the concept of personal identity.

To take the most extreme case, consider Stockholm Syndrome where the suppressed, abused individual feels affection towards their captor. At that point, I think it is pushed beyond a sense of self altogether. The needs, the identity, the concept of self can get damaged to a point of no longer entering the conscious mind. A person can reach a point where they don't feel like they are being especially nice at all, but just minimally functioning to barely meet the demands of an oppressive person. There is no hope of being a good person because one can never give enough to the Narcissist. At that point the person functions like an obedient dog without the ability to do more than react for survival.

 

[1010830]

Very. I am greatness inside a human body. I am power, I am knowledge, I am life and I can be death should you fail to respect my authority.
You'll be made useful.

 

[/DG/]

Mild for 2 qualities.

Funny, according to the other test, I am very obviously a narcissist! I guess it just goes to show that one or both of these is complete and utter bullshit.