Nijntje
Warflower
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2009
- Messages
- 3,130
- MBTI Type
- CRZY
- Enneagram
- 4w5
I should clarify that I can get over personal, unresolved conflicts as long as I no longer have to deal with that person much. If it's just a dislike on both sides, then I can ignore it pretty easily. It may bother me at first if I feel a a sense of injustice, but I will calm down quickly. Maybe if I run into them I will feel some discomfort, but otherwise, I cannot control everything, and so I put it out of mind.
However, there are some conflicts that cannot be avoided and must be dealt with head on. Let's say you're going through a divorce (which I am not, haha), then you have to resolve certain things legally. It must be taken care of. During that time when things have yet to be resolved, I can only imagine the anxiety.
I'm in the process of closing some matters and it's a massive headache. I know I will not resolve the personal conflict, and I don't care, but it's just getting to the point where I don't have to deal with this person anymore.
I've had to do that and once i no longer had to deal with the person anymore the sense of anxiety and physical sickness which would accompany the thought of and actual physical interactions with them stopped as i knew i had done everything i possibly could to resolve it...
However i have some family stuff which is and will forever be unresolved as to try and resolve it would serve no other purpose than to upset my mother, and wouldn't actually fix what happened and how i still feel about it all. There are certain things now that a person is no longer in her and my life that i no longer have to deal with so it just gets pushed aside... however it does sometimes rear its ugly had in nightmare/dream form where i semi resolve the issue and wake up feeling like i'm emotionally exhausted and haven't slept at all... had one last night...