[ESTP] How do you deal with ESTPs?

[iwakar]

Ugh, exuberantly then awkwardly, then I just don't.

 

[Unique]

How do you deal with ESTPs? You never really do, even if you think you are.

I've decided its still possible you are dealing with an ESTP despite some of the behavior that seems a tad on the strange side to me. As this could just be a case of you meeting some "unhealthy" ESTP types.

That said... the above quote is true but I wish you luck on improving your relations with us.

 

[gloomy-optimist]

Ha, my bff is ESTP, and it's really kind of an art dealing with him. Basically, you don't ignore them. They don't like that, at all. Instead, stand your ground, but remember that half the time they're just pushy because....well, they are. It's not that they don't care about your feelings or anything. That's just how they do things, and they might not even realize it.
Take what they say with humor. Question their motives. If they get dramatic, just sigh a lot and roll your eyes; even if they get insulted, they'll get over it, quickly. Yes, they do take things personally sometimes, but grudges really aren't their thing. They'll be presenting a new idea tomorrow with just as much zest.
Once they learn that you really aren't interested in giving them whatever favors they want, they'll learn to back off a bit. Either they'll lose interest and move on to someone else, or they'll just kind of hang out with you for kicks. It's not so much because they're shallow or uncaring; it's just that they like to throw around ideas naturally, and sometimes they don't know how to deal with someone who doesn't know how to handle this part of them.

Or at least that's what I've observed.

 

[Unique]

Ha, my bff is ESTP, and it's really kind of an art dealing with him. Basically, you don't ignore them. They don't like that, at all. Instead, stand your ground, but remember that half the time they're just pushy because....well, they are. It's not that they don't care about your feelings or anything. That's just how they do things, and they might not even realize it.
Take what they say with humor. Question their motives. If they get dramatic, just sigh a lot and roll your eyes; even if they get insulted, they'll get over it, quickly. Yes, they do take things personally sometimes, but grudges really aren't their thing. They'll be presenting a new idea tomorrow with just as much zest.
Once they learn that you really aren't interested in giving them whatever favors they want, they'll learn to back off a bit. Either they'll lose interest and move on to someone else, or they'll just kind of hang out with you for kicks. It's not so much because they're shallow or uncaring; it's just that they like to throw around ideas naturally, and sometimes they don't know how to deal with someone who doesn't know how to handle this part of them.

Or at least that's what I've observed.

Yep sounds like us lol pretty good observation. We do care about people... we just sometimes don't know what effects our words have on peoples feelings.

 

[INA]

they do always have a way of getting their way, but i think it is less stratigic and more that they are just bad ass and stuborn, and also they suck very very much

This sounds correct.
I only know two. I "deal" with them with hugs and raucous jokes. Works for me.

 

[Dali]

I've decided its still possible you are dealing with an ESTP despite some of the behavior that seems a tad on the strange side to me. As this could just be a case of you meeting some "unhealthy" ESTP types.

That said... the above quote is true but I wish you luck on improving your relations with us.

I also wish your type luck on improving your relations with me.

I apologise if some of my previous posts came across in a negative way but that was not my intention. Perhaps I have not been meeting 'unhealthy ones' and it may just be that I know not how to interact with them most effectively. This thread has yielded many good pointers that I can't wait to put to use.

Thanks guys.

 

[runvardh]

How do I deal with them...

If they're being a problem I use words, then distance, then my fist, in that order. I'd rather take them snowboarding or whitewater rafting, though.

 

[sade]

On a more serious note than my last post. And I'm still talking about the one male ESTP I know.. I usually just hang along the ride, try not to take it seriously if he's trying to get a rise from me. Humor is very good approach, listening to his interests is good just not giving in on the sudden ideas. Instead I like to discuss those with him in humor. If I want to get something from him, it takes patience and repeating the thing to him several days in a roll and standing my ground. I've actually gotten this to work, I did have to change approache couple of times and I think he got fed up, but hey.. Or maybe it was that proposition I gave him. Wel, it worked. Or I just go do it myself and watch him gape later..

I'm going to confirm Lukepd's expression of "water off of ducks back" with the rare exception that I have gotten my brother seeking me out to find the reason why I'm pissed and trying to calm me down when I've done a "door slam". It just takes big mesures. In my case, I silently fume and shut all communications. I actually used to say he had a teflon surface, nothing got stuck to it.

Meh. I like ESTPs.

 

[sleuthiness]

intercourse

 

[Hang]

On threatened me only because I asked him to pick up his litter. I just stood there with a on my face.

ESTJs are fun. When I'm around they are prevaricating to impress. Correcting them makes it enjoyable.

 

[saieditor]

You need some leverage. Something they want. Those are the rules the type of person you're describing whether ESTP or ESTJ deals in.

Yes, that is about the only way to make an unattached ESTP come back to you. ESTJ, too. Good insight.

 

[Winds of Thor]

Can't say I've ever felt the need to manipulate or control others... sounds more like something my ESTJ father would do. I'm more into freedom of the people.

Could you be a little more specific?

That is brilliant manipulation in itself! You may not have felt...but you do manipulate...Just look: It's a paradox you write words which deflect the focus towards commentary on your father (something obviously nobody here knows about most likely)

...yet ask for specificity from Luke..

How about being specific accountable to the context of the question? Or do you just want to go off subject again?

We're all here to learn. You're making it a bit challenging..which I enjoy but is not the focus of this question.

 

[Winds of Thor]

Ha, my bff is ESTP, and it's really kind of an art dealing with him. Basically, you don't ignore them. They don't like that, at all. Instead, stand your ground, but remember that half the time they're just pushy because....well, they are. It's not that they don't care about your feelings or anything. That's just how they do things, and they might not even realize it.
Take what they say with humor. Question their motives. If they get dramatic, just sigh a lot and roll your eyes; even if they get insulted, they'll get over it, quickly. Yes, they do take things personally sometimes, but grudges really aren't their thing. They'll be presenting a new idea tomorrow with just as much zest.
Once they learn that you really aren't interested in giving them whatever favors they want, they'll learn to back off a bit. Either they'll lose interest and move on to someone else, or they'll just kind of hang out with you for kicks. It's not so much because they're shallow or uncaring; it's just that they like to throw around ideas naturally, and sometimes they don't know how to deal with someone who doesn't know how to handle this part of them.

Or at least that's what I've observed.

And you think that's as good as it gets for being treated well? I got news..ENTPs are so well suited for you...It would be like living in a dilapitated town all your life, never having been to a better place. Then going to a nice town and seeing how bad you had it. We get used to bad circumstances, like the frog slowly simmering to a boil-it never knew it's fate until it was too late! Some things are so relative.

 

[Winds of Thor]

On threatened me only because I asked him to pick up his litter. I just stood there with a on my face.

ESTJs are fun. When I'm around they are prevaricating to impress. Correcting them makes it enjoyable.

Agreed.

 

[FantailedWall]

Hmmm. I can't speak for the ESTP population at large, but a dear friend of mine is an ESTP - and she is well-liked by pretty much everyone.

I would not call her confrontational nor likely to take criticism personally. The one bad habit she has is speaking before she thinks, and coming out sounding harsh because of it - but she's working on it, and has learned tact. She is a very balanced person with her priorities straight and excels at interacting with people. She's open-minded, and inclined to like people until they give her a reason not to - can even come across as somewhat naive at times. She genuinely cares, but isn't apt to express it as much as me, for example. That's just who she is. An extreme 'F' may occasionally take to heart some of her flippant comments - but they're never meant maliciously, and once you get to know her you come to realize this.

Sounds like perhaps ya'll have been dealing with unhealthy types.

 

[Unique]

Nice post FantailedWall but I was kinda hoping this old thread would just die.

It's got way too much misinformation for my liking.

 

[Jeffster]

Nice post FantailedWall but I was kinda hoping this old thread would just die.

It's got way too much misinformation for my liking.

Bad news, dude. You just extended it!

Nyah!

 

[Halla74]

Is this post a candidate for locking by ADMIN???

 

[FantailedWall]

Nice post FantailedWall but I was kinda hoping this old thread would just die.

It's got way too much misinformation for my liking.

Stereotypes suck

Will be quiet now so as not to extend thread further.

 

[Dali]

Is this post a candidate for locking by ADMIN???

LOL, you'd like that wouldn't you?

I've learnt quite a bit, A LOT even, from this thread and it's helped smooth relations with my father and my ESTP brother.

So much for 'misinformation'.

Mo