Affably Evil
New member
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2010
- Messages
- 73
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 5w4
I usually show affection by paying attention to someone I guess, spending time with them. I'm definitely an attention and time hoarder (regarding my own attention), I seriously like my alone time and I have to really like someone to want to spend a lot of time with them. Plus I'll trust them with things that I don't tell many people. So for me, what Jenaphor said, probably.
[edit] I think the most common way I express affection is doing things to show that I pay attention- I pick up on what makes them happy/cheers them up (e.g. if they hate doing dishes, I'll wash dishes without them asking) and do it regularly, as long as it keeps cheering them up.
Everything here; I'm not big on gifts because of the emotional and physical burden they put on others; though I have to say, when I do give gifts I try to find or create something that compliments their lifestyle and shows what I know of them and helps to fulfill their needs (or just, more lightly, wistful wants.) Because of that, it tends to be rare for me to give gifts unless it is someone I know quite well and would like to do something special for them.
I absolutely agree with Z Buck: the way I show affection is with time and attention, with wanting to know their opinions on complex or delicate subjects, spending a lot of time with them, trusting them with personal information or doubts. I'll also do small things if and where possible that might make things easier, like taking out the trash or being aware of whether or not there's subtextual things going on with them (like a headache or personal problems) and try to make conversations or situations easier on them.