helping people

[greenfairy]

Like it is said of NT's, I highly value competence, independence, and self sufficiency. I cultivate these qualities in myself. Because of this, I assume other people do as well. I don't really ask for help that often (except asking for information and sometimes advice), and so I don't think of helping other people unless they're in front of me and I can see they need it. I just assume they'll take care of themselves and I don't have to. So I kind of resent it when I have to help people, because they're not able to take care of themselves (or they don't want to).

That said, I have a sense of community and interconnection, and collective well-being. I think people contributing to each other's well-being is a beautiful thing. But I see it as a kind of optional thing, something you do because you value the connections and relationships, not because you are selfless and feel obligated to help. If it was an obligation, it would seem like it wasn't a true relationship, because you don't really care about it enough to contribute if you don't have to. This is why I don't like volunteering; I don't like this Christian spirit of selflessness. I feel like I have a right to get something in return for what I do. If I can help and affect someone positively while not going out of my way, I enjoy it. This includes strangers, because if I encounter someone I share in their well-being a little bit because we're part of the global community and stuff. But I'm not going to go out of my way to serve humanity or help people who are too lazy to help themselves. My contribution is being a good person, using my talents positively, and adding to the collective consciousness by living as a good example, and clarifying and giving information. I have a holistic approach, with life as well as health. I want to heal the causes and not just treat the symptoms.

 

[JAVO]

My perspective on helping is very similar. I don't want to get anything out of it, and I don't want to be put to work by some type of organization or over-organizer who will almost certainly assign me to some nearly pointless task.

 

[LucrativeSid]

That's pretty much how I see it, too. I'll help people when I'm inspired to, but I despise hidden agreements and obligations. I will not operate that way or tolerate relationships like that. If you make a specific agreement, you have to be able to follow through without resentment. If there's no agreement, you have to no right to pretend like there is. I won't let helping or favors become something you have to fight for, keep track of, or worry about.

I'm all for helping people, but I have my own ideas about what helping people actually is. I consider it virtuous to do your own work if you're capable of it. Not only would it be annoying to me to do something for someone when they are perfectly capable of doing it, but I'd be enabling one of their vices.

While I don't go out of my way to shovel someone else's driveway, I do donate money to causes that support science and education. I'll give somebody my time as a condition-free favor, especially if it's to help somebody do something they can't do on their own.