[ENFP] Hate an ENFP? Tell us why!

[Amargith]

Well, I hate people like you!

You should see someone about that self-hate, sweety

 

[Moiety]

You should see someone about that self-hate, sweety

No, I meant it, sweety! I can't understand the rationale behind it. The "people are scum" propaganda gets on my nerves a bit. Animals go apeshit all the time, just like people. "But they don't have a conscience!" Well neither do evil people.

 

[Amargith]

No, I meant it, sweety! I can't understand the rationale behind it. The "people are scum" propaganda gets on my nerves a bit. Animals go apeshit all the time, just like people. "But they don't have a conscience!" Well neither do evil people.

Animals are predictable in their actions, don't deceive and don't lie. They're just who they are. People put up facades. It gets tiring. That's all

 

[Paisley]

I know a bunch of enfp's and I like them all, one previous roommate of mine is an enfp. Most are very sociable, fun, intelligent, and competitive...show offs and a little chaotic at times. They're rarely found, as a majority, in politics, and at least from what I can tell, usually hate that kind of discussion which I really enjoy. So, that is a small annoyance, just the dismissiveness of matters of political and fundamental importance to humanity. They're also kinda needy, and attention getters and can sometimes come across as being very proud and arrogant because they need to be in the center of attention, to feel loved all the time, and get moody when they aren't. As a whole, I like them, they're all really funny usually, and good actors and great comedians, at least in their own right. So, I guess I hate a couple things about them, but as a group I like them all and have a much easier time with enfp's than many other types.

 

[OregonENFP]

Hmmmm

You women are too nervous, never dress correctlty for the right occasion and always want sex when I just want to talk.

1. I dress correctly for the right occasion.

2. I want sex when you want to sleep, too.

 

[OregonENFP]

Love this description! This is my mom!! (ENFP!)

I've only met one ENFP in real life--my aunt. She's a saint who drives me up the wall. I lived with her for 3 years. I'm not sure I can attribute all her bothersome traits to her personality type, though; it's probably just her particular combination of things.

Rant:
1) She has pouncing monologues. I always think of her as a spider with a huge sticky web. If you're full of your own thoughts, exploring some idea or experience, and happen to walk near her general vicinity, she'll pounce on you and subject you to a monologue about nothing. And it doesn't end. If you are nice and polite and put away your own thoughts so you can make her happy and pay attention to her, she goes on and on and on and on... If you try to steer the conversation toward something meaningful and interesting, she'll flit all around but never settle long enough join your thoughts. The only way to get away is just to walk away while she's talking to you. Even if you excuse yourself first, she'll keep talking WHILE YOU'RE WALKING AWAY!!!!!

2) She can't think unless her mouth is engaged. I used to have to work with her, and we had to collaborate on ideas for newsletters and stuff. I'd come to the meeting with all my ideas planned out and ready to present. She'd come with no ideas at all, and then want to waste my time just talking about her own ideas until she decided which ones she liked (this could take several hours of nonstop talking). It used to tie me into knots because every idea she presented I'd take quite seriously and begin to reconstruct my own plans around it--and then 15 minutes later she'd change her mind.

3) She loves sad stories, loves to tell them, and loves to weep while she tells them. And she wants you to weep with her.

4) Everyone who is in some difficult situation, she sees as a victim. It's not the poor person's fault; we should fix everything for them! Of course this comes from a wonderfully loving and gentle heart, but it hasn't been particularly good for her children.

5) She doesn't really want to know you--she just wants to know enough to feel close to you. In the beginning I made the mistake of thinking that she really did want to know me, and all that annoying talking was her way of being friends. But when I'd open up and share myself with her, she'd take it with a grain of salt. I suppose that's because she's accustomed to talking about herself so much that it doesn't mean a lot to her, so she assumes it's true for others. It surprised and hurt me at first; then I was resentful for a while. Now I don't expect real understanding from her, so it's not so bad. Only that NF part of her keeps begging that NF part of me to share and bond and so forth, and I have to keep reminding myself that it's just an illusion and not to be taken seriously.

6) Absolutely nothing can be discussed dispassionately.

7) One of her pet ways of making people feel good about themselves is to act as though that person is practically saving her life by helping her out somehow. When she needs something, she'll come begging. The sticky neediness of her begging annoys me no end, but I think she does it because she's found that it makes some people feel good about themselves to be needed in that way. It seems very manipulative to me. She thanked me over and over for feeding some kittens of a stray cat. It bothered me because it was only a little thing that I wanted to do anyway and I never expected her to care about the kittens--she had way too much other stuff to do. But then she acted like I was a little angel to spend 10 minutes a day with kittens. (As though it were a chore!--they're KITTENS!) If she really felt that grateful, it'd be one thing--but she doesn't. She just wants to say it so you'll feel appreciated.

8) That tendency to manipulate is very pronounced in her. (I think I maybe guilty of this myself, but not as much as she.) She'll pretend like everything is her fault just to get people to stop arguing. That drives me up the wall! It makes me so angry that she says things that are patently false just to make people feel good, rather than let people argue and work through the issue themselves.

9) She always wants to touch you. Hug you or hold your hand or something, especially when you're annoyed with her. Gah, I hate that! The last thing I want to do is hold the hand of someone I'm annoyed with. And she stands too close; her personal space is way too small.

I'm going to stop here. It's probably not healthy for me to think this much about things I dislike about her.

The time I liked her best was when she got angry and smashed her fist against the doorpost. I thought, "Finally! A genuine expression rather than one specifically designed to make people feel good." Only she ruined it later by apologizing to me for letting me see her angry.

OMG. It's like you're describing my mother!!! An ENFP, too.

 

[Kalach]

The million questions...

The million, billion questions... stuff you just come up with, seeking a comprehensive understanding.

And the watchful, tactical Te guarding your feelings. (Yeah, I know... how ironic, but on with the rant anyway...)

It takes a freaking long time for you to announce a position, even though the position is so very freaking obvious from what you're up to with these questions.

It's wearing.


I don't hate it. I do get tired.

 

[BlueScreen]

As soon as I announce a position I'll disprove it, or at least try to, so sometimes I don't see the point. I'll come back to the same problem in a few days and see it a completely different way. Knowing that, it often feels misleading to conclude something non-concrete. So if I'm not certain of an answer, I tend to just give you my working or thoughts on it so you can decide. It probably works best with Ni types, you sleep on it and come back with the answer for me .

 

[Kalach]

As soon as I announce a position I'll disprove it, or at least try to, so sometimes I don't see the point. I'll come back to the same problem in a few days and see it a completely different way. Knowing that, it often feels misleading to conclude something non-concrete.

So if I'm not certain of an answer, isn't it just easier to give you my working or thoughts on it so you can decide? It probably works best with Ni types. I give you the ideas, you sleep, you come back with the answer for me .

Oh puhleaze.

I've yet to meet an ENFP who'll present anything other than a fragment. You already knew where you were going and you tossed out something to keep me occupied. Gets old.

 

[BlueScreen]

I think you miss the point. We aren't Js. Your destination is not only undesired, it is irrelevant. Like where do we find any interest in taking a set position in an argument. It is a formality.

 

[Kalach]

If being J is NOT my mandate for being right about everything, being P is not your mandate for making everything fuzzy.

What I come up with is useable. When it's based on fragments, it fails.



oh, and ps. being J makes me interested in thinking things through to their conclusion, but it doesn't make me responsible for it. Y'all gotta do that yourselves sometimes, too.

 

[BlueScreen]

If being J is NOT my mandate for being right about everything, being P is not your mandate for making everything fuzzy.

What I come up with is useable. When it's based on fragments, it fails.



oh, and ps. being J makes me interested in thinking things through to their conclusion, but it doesn't make me responsible for it. Y'all gotta do that yourselves sometimes, too.

.

 

[ColonelGadaafi]

How can anyone hate ENFP's?!. Unless they use their Fi's for assholic purposes, they are marvelous. They are one of the types i have most kinship with.

 

[Xellotath]

I know a bunch of enfp's and I like them all, one previous roommate of mine is an enfp. Most are very sociable, fun, intelligent, and competitive...show offs and a little chaotic at times. They're rarely found, as a majority, in politics, and at least from what I can tell, usually hate that kind of discussion which I really enjoy. So, that is a small annoyance, just the dismissiveness of matters of political and fundamental importance to humanity. They're also kinda needy, and attention getters and can sometimes come across as being very proud and arrogant because they need to be in the center of attention, to feel loved all the time, and get moody when they aren't. As a whole, I like them, they're all really funny usually, and good actors and great comedians, at least in their own right. So, I guess I hate a couple things about them, but as a group I like them all and have a much easier time with enfp's than many other types.

Fine with the majority of your descriptions, except the dismissing of philosophy you spoke of. To this day, I haven't met a single mature ENFP without a passion for abstract matters. We get a lot of energy from ideas... in fact, I'll get depressed after awhile if my current belief system goes unchallenged and no one is willing to discuss these things. Are you sure they aren't ESFPs? We're very similar! All of the fun, less "drama"!

 

[Moiety]

I've yet to meet an ENFP who'll present anything other than a fragment. You already knew where you were going and you tossed out something to keep me occupied. Gets old.

You see? Some people can't conceive of discussion for the hell of it, it seems. Why must I be backing up a specific stance? If anything, it's often more about proving there's another side to the coin and that the other person isn't taking everything into consideration. In A VS B arguments it might seem I'm disproving A to because I agree with B, but that's often not the case at all.

They're rarely found, as a majority, in politics, and at least from what I can tell, usually hate that kind of discussion which I really enjoy. So, that is a small annoyance, just the dismissiveness of matters of political and fundamental importance to humanity.

I think that's a misconception as well. I personally love talking about politics. Just don't try to make it so clear-cut. Think brainstorming, not duel. If I think the other person is too close-minded to think in Ne terms of the big picture and all the various possibilities, I refrain from talking politics for too long. Discussing philosophy/politics with an SJ in particular, for example, can be quite draining.

 

[Xellotath]

The million questions...

The million, billion questions... stuff you just come up with, seeking a comprehensive understanding.

And the watchful, tactical Te guarding your feelings. (Yeah, I know... how ironic, but on with the rant anyway...)

It takes a freaking long time for you to announce a position, even though the position is so very freaking obvious from what you're up to with these questions.

It's wearing.


I don't hate it. I do get tired.

Hm..
Objection noted. I do ask a lot of questions, but always feel my way around things, attempting to avoid annoying others.

If it does tire you, please inform us!

Generally, we're more than willing to accommodate other people.

As for Te guarding Fi... ever seen that thing run loose? It's really its own animal and it rarely has a place in normal social background. If we didn't have Te predicting/avoiding certain topics or justifying us after an Fi outburst, the narcissistic wounds would be unbearable.

Yeah, I can see how that can get tiring.

As for throwing seemingly random fragments, I'm afraid I can't defend myself against that one. It's in my nature to see meaning in the slightest things and be overjoyed with the task of piecing it all together in a very open-ended [not always consistent] system.

Still.. your picture. Its hard to be mad at you.

 

[Lady_X]

You see? Some people can't conceive of discussion for the hell of it, it seems. Why must I be backing up a specific stance? If anything, it's often more about proving there's another side to the coin and that the other person isn't taking everything into consideration. In A VS B arguments it might seem I'm disproving A to because I agree with B, but that's often not the case at all.



I think that's a misconception as well. I personally love talking about politics. Just don't try to make it so clear-cut. Think brainstorming, not duel. If I think the other person is too close-minded to think in Ne terms of the big picture and all the various possibilities, I refrain from talking politics for too long. Discussing philosophy/politics with an SJ in particular, for example, can be quite draining.

i agree with both of these too...our objectives are different...we're talking to explore the idea or question...and you're talking to reach a conclusion and settle the topic.

and...i don't enjoy talking politics or anything controversial with anyone who takes a judging stance or feels their position is superior and i won't do it either...but i'll talk all damn night with someone just interested in my view and sharing theirs without trying to disprove either.

 

[Kalach]

Discussion for the sake of discussion? Conceiving of it's easy. Taking part? Dudes, gimmie a break, I'm carrying around a monster Ni here!

Besides, the deal with the million questions and the delay on taking a position isn't just P being P. It's trust. It takes you guys a while to decide if someone can be trusted to know all of the uncertainties you have on a given question (or even what the real question is), and meanwhile you can entertain them with some colourful, curious fragment.

And how I do with the fragment is a test too. So, yay for Ne and tactical Te.

 

[Lady_X]

rather or not we can trust you to just talk without disproving yeah...that's fair. i think it's pretty typical of us to value an individuals right to their opinion so trying to devalue it doesn't sit well with me at all.

 

[Moiety]

Discussion for the sake of discussion? Conceiving of it's easy. Taking part? Dudes, gimmie a break, I'm carrying around a monster Ni here!

Besides, the deal with the million questions and the delay on taking a position isn't just P being P. It's trust. It takes you guys a while to decide if someone can be trusted to know all of the uncertainties you have on a given question (or even what the real question is), and meanwhile you can entertain them with some colourful, curious fragment.

Monster Ni indeed. That is your interpretation. It's not uncertainty so much as being open to the idea that one is wrong. Otherwise there is no point in a debate. I want to be proven wrong. It's how we test the boundaries of our theories.

As for trust I think you aren't giving us enough credit as far as independent thinking is concerned. If you truly know any ENFPs than you know them to be quite confident in their sometimes esoteric worldviews.