[ENFJ] Hate an ENFJ? Tell us why!

[Domino]

Bing cherries. The cherriest.

 

[Arclight]

Well I could spin everyone of those points into something else.. So the issue might be a warped perception and an expectation of how others ought to behave.

You brought it up yourself..

Elfboy.. who is struggling here.. The ENFJ you are upset with, or you? read my Sig..

 

[Hate]

I don't like any of the ENFJs I know (in fact, I just punched one in the face recently for many of the reasons listed below

ALL HAIL to the badass that goes by the name of Elfboy.

 

[Ethelred the Unready]

ALL HAIL to the badass that goes by the name of Elfboy.

I cannot perform ALL HAIL at the moment...I'm cowering behind my keyboard ...I'm scared that somebody will invade my personal space and punch me in the face...or, even worse - throw cherries at me

 

[Glycerine]

disclaimer: the following applies to the ENFJs I've met. given 1) I don't like any of the ENFJs I know (in fact, I just punched on in the face recently for many of the reasons listened below)
and 2) I don't know a ton of ENFJs, this posts is going to be very biased. if I am terribly off in my generalizations, feel free to let me know.
anyway, things I hate about enfjs are:
1) getting really emotional about everything
2) expecting you to feel a certain way
3) not giving person space
4) coming to conclusions before you're finished talking
5) being terrible with logic
6) being extremely judgmental I have met ENFPs who are quite judgmental.... it's quite relative
7) having all these expectations on how you "should" be or feel
8) assuming you're a selfish prick if you care about your own benefit at all
9) taking EVERYTHING personally
10) thinking extremely collectivistically and being offended if you don't
11) trying to malipulate you with flattery
12) not liking you unless you are another FJ
13) not liking you if you are enneagram 5 or 8 (and usually not 7 either)
14) constantly focused on other people
15) if you disagree with them, they take it as an insult or an offense unless you deliberately say it isn't, and even then they usually do
16) invading your personal space
17) oh I almost forgot. the guilt trip

yeah sounds like a very small group unless they are young and/or immature.
The bold doesn't really apply to me but they could definitely apply to your peeps.

 

[Arclight]

I cannot perform ALL HAIL at the moment...I'm cowering behind my keyboard ...I'm scared that somebody will invade my personal space and punch me in the face...or, even worse - throw cherries at me

Ha ha...!!!!^^^^^^


I don't know if anybody noticed , but 4 of Elfboy's points are blatant redundancies and a few more are kind of repeated more than once as well.
SO this really means That Elfboy has only about 10 points, not 17.. But he is still 100% wrong.. Ahhh math.. How I love you

 

[Glycerine]

Ha ha...!!!!^^^^^^


I don't know if anybody noticed , but 4 of Elfboy's points are blatant redundancies and a few more are kind of repeated more than once as well.
SO this really means That Elfboy has only about 10 points, not 17.. But he is still 100% wrong.. Ahhh math.. How I love you

It's an incredibly emotion filled post but we don't really know if has or has not met people like that. Although all the emotional intensity made it seem like a big exaggeration based on butthurtness.

 

[Amargith]

It's called venting. Don't take it too personally.

 

[Arclight]

It's an incredibly emotion filled post but we don't really know if has or has not met people like that. Although all the emotional intensity made it seem like a big exaggeration based on butthurtness.

Yes I know he is upset.. He is a smart Kid.. so maybe he will realize that by making this post, and going off like he did.. That he is doing about 10 of those "non" redundant points himself. On top of that he punches people who don't agree with him..
He is obviously emotionally distressed .

And in his case.. My Sig might not be a good mantra for him.. because it is not other people's behavior that is really causing him to struggle internally.. but rather his own..

 

[Amargith]

Just coz it's worded in an emotional way doesn't mean it should stop you from looking past that and objectively checking if what he says applies to you as a person. I wouldn't have worded it the way he did, but 2/3's of that list are things that indeed can be found in the NFJ breed, though clearly it's not limited to that breed only.

 

[Glycerine]

Just coz it's worded in an emotional way doesn't mean it should stop you from looking past that and objectively checking if what he says applies to you as a person. I wouldn't have worded it the way he did, but 2/3's of that list are things that indeed can be found in the NFJ breed, though clearly it's not limited to that breed only.

I thought I did that.

 

[Elfboy]

you asked for my opinion on ENFJs, and I told you with the explicit disclaimer that I knew that many ENFJs do not fit the points listed. you really have no room to blame me for your offense to an honest answer to a question

PS: thankyou Satine

 

[Arclight]

Well in my case.. I wouldn't be able to counter(spin) his points, or spot the redundancies, if I hadn't given his post some thought.

 

[Arclight]

you asked for my opinion on ENFJs, and I told you with the explicit disclaimer that I knew that many ENFJs do not fit the points listed. you really have no room to blame me for your offense to an honest answer to a question

PS: thankyou Satine

That might be part of your problem right there.. I did not see a single post that "Blamed" you for anything. IN fact in light of what you said..I feel people are being rather sympathetic and nice in comparison, to how some people would have been treated had they made the same post.

 

[A window to the soul]

There's no reason to hate an ENFJ. Look, just corner the ENFJ, grab them in a great big ol' bear hug, tell them how much they mean to you, and problems solved! I love my ENFJ sister!!!

 

[Arclight]

There's no reason to hate an ENFJ. Look, just corner the ENFJ, grab them in a great big ol' bear hug, tell them how much they mean to you, and problems solved! I love my ENFJ sister!!!

It really is that simple too..

 

[Amargith]

I thought I did that.

You did

It was just a thought. I remember expressing myself in a similar way when I was younger..I still do when I get frazzled, before I filter stuff, and although I understood that the way I put it was a problem, I often found myself frustrated that people wouldn discount my words just based on my delivery...so I guess that's why I felt the urge to post
It's not directed at anyone in particular...just meant to make people think for two seconds. I'm not pointing fingers at all, however

@ Elfboy: I relate..hence I jumped in. But for you too, there's a lesson here. I'm sure however, that you've been told that repeatedly by now. It's not easy to learn..but it's worth looking into, ime

 

[A window to the soul]

Elfboy's post is so passionate about ENFJ's, I think he's in love.

 

[Elfboy]

Elfboy's post is so passionate about ENFJ's, I think he's in love.

Actually, I fancy an ESFP right now, but you are right about one thing. I have a serious problem with projection sometimes
mini vent on the above subject
The ESFP I have a crush on I absolutely hate. He's actually tried to be my friend, but I sorta shut him out because I don't want to deal with having a crush on as a friend. Logically, I have nothing against him. He's sweet, he's playful, he's fun, he's excepting, he's GORGEOUS, but I hate him because I can't have him and he makes me feel vulnerable. Hence, I don't want to have a friendship with him
1) because i couldn't handle it and
2) because it wouldn't be fair of me to be friends with him while I secretly hated him and blamed him for something that wasn't his fault. I may be stubborn and egotistical at times, but I make it a point to try to respect people when they've done nothing to merit otherwise

PS: one thing I like about ENFJs, if you need to vent, they're there for you

 

[Domino]

It's okay, Elfboy. Vent away, that's what this thread is for. *pats your shoulder* Venting can be as rational AND irrational as it needs to be. And having a crush on a friend is a pretty nasty position to be in. If you need to get space from him in order to get your head on straight, I say take it.

NerdGirl - that would work on me. lol My ENFP sister subdues my crankypants nature with a plethora of hugs and smooches.