Gossip: What is the reasoning for gossip, pro and con?

[LightSun]

"Gossip Why do people gossip? Don't they know it is self destructive? It is a sign of emotional and spiritual immaturity? What is more most of the gossip is here say and projections. They are not a fair reflection of the real world. What is the reason for gossiping behavior, pro and con?"


"To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else. Rather than speaking badly about people and in ways that will produce friction and unrest in their lives, we should practice a purer perception of them, and when we speak of others - speak of their good qualities." - Dalai Lama

"Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.” Socrates


“It seems in human personality there is some need to let out built up resentment so people tend to let out steam out by the gossiping. Gossiping reflects the speaker, badly. This is quite passive-aggressive in nature. It also festers and can become likened as cancer in a organization and can break up friendships. It really seems that lessening this aspect is to learn communication skills. Learning and education is precursor for better human communication and relationships. If we have a grievance we communicate it through the proper channels or speak to the person individually."

 

[Coriolis]

It seems to me that most gossip is rooted in insecurity, and the need to know about other people so you can see how you measure up, or to speak about other people to make you look good, either by comparison, or so you look "in the know" about others. I have no patience with it myself.

 

[Frosty]

I dont like gossip. People gossip to me all the time, and occasionally Ill vent to someone else about someone- but IRL I try to stay out of it as much as possible. Ive seen too many queen bees in my day that now I know that I dont want to poke any nests if I can help it.

 

[LightSun]

“It seems in human personality there is some need to let out built up resentment so people tend to let out steam out by gossiping. Gossiping reflects on the speaker, badly. This is quite passive-aggressive in nature. It also festers and can become likened as cancer in a organization and can break up friendships. Gossiping can be a bonding exercise. However if the gossip is negative in tone it it counterproductive. What is more it accomplishes nothing. It does not tackle the underpinnings of the conflict or stressor. Instead learn to state one's boundaries.

Make 'I' statements such as I feel or I think. Take personal ownership. This instead of unleashing negativity full of distortions in logic plus reason. It really seems that lessening this aspect is to learn communication skills. Learning and education is precursor for better human communication and relationships. If we have a grievance we communicate it through the proper channels or speak to the person directly."

 

[cacaia]

I'm curious about this question because people told me I gossip, and I don't really mean it that way. If someone at work is doing something hurtful to other people, I don't have the courage to tell that someone to stop hurting others to their face. So I occasionally mention how I observed such and such a person saying this to a kid, and how I feel it could be better handled. I don't want to burn bridges with the person, since I have to see them everyday, but I also want to make sure the kids are safe and respected, too, so if this is considered gossip, then I'm guilty of it. But I hate confrontation, and cannot bring myself to tell the person to stop.

 

[Earl Grey]

What is gossiping exactly?

There's talking and staying updated in the going-ons of your social circle, but where does it cross into gossip?

 

[Jaguar]

"I saw Florence the other day. Did you see that dress she had on? She looked pregnant but I think it's just all those chocolate chip cookies she eats. And did I tell you her husband is having sex with his neighbor's dog? A standard poodle for pete's sake! There should be a law against that."

Gossip.

 

[Earl Grey]

I guess this is just another thing I am too aloof and dense in, then. Bye guys.

 

[cascadeco]

The 'purpose' /pro of it would be establishing or figuring out who agrees with what, who 'joins forces' with the gossiper and who does not; it can be to deliberately try to undermine someone/try to make someone look bad and get ppl to agree, or it can be to try to see what other people think. So it's a way of building, establishing, determining, social positioning or who agrees with whom, what 'side' people fall on. Or, just talking about others as a conversation piece. The gossiper learns, and those who despise what the gossiper is doing or saying will then by despising form their own 'group' or stand solo.

The negative ofc is that it can hurt the individual being spoke of, might involve total misinformation (thus still hurting the person), and generally can begin to weaken and dissolve trust and cohesivenesss in the group/environment.

 

[Population: 1]

It’s the byproduct of idleness. If people were busy doing their own life they wouldn’t be preoccupied with others.

An observation I’ve made over the years is to avoid the people that are the first to denounce gossip emphatically. They are usually the biggest purveyors of petty slander.

 

[Abcdenfp]

Yesterday I was mentioned in our islands gossip column because the Estp has put some really hurtful things about me (which are not true) to embarrass me because he is a high positioned person and I left him.
My name is mud and I have been ignoring calls all day. I almost did not get out of bed today. The price of my freedom has cost me so much.
Gossip is destructive because people believe it, it sows seeds of doubt in people who should know you and gives strangers the incorrect assumption that they have the right to comment on your life.

 

[1487610420]

[MENTION=23222]senza tema[/MENTION]

 

[Deprecator]

Well to be fair there's only so many things people can talk about. Cooking, sewing, work, the weather, secret relationships between two longstanding members who finally realized their attraction towards other women, etc.

 

[Coriolis]

Well to be fair there's only so many things people can talk about. Cooking, sewing, work, the weather, secret relationships between two longstanding members who finally realized their attraction towards other women, etc.

What a limited conversational palette.

 

[Deprecator]

What a limited conversational palette.

Well to be fair these are limiting times for the forum. Now I'm not saying that the queen bees have anything to do with it per se, but I do know that every time I've tried asking about what queen bees even are, people suddenly get very quiet and suspicious.

 

[Earl Grey]

Well to be fair there's only so many things people can talk about. Cooking, sewing, work, the weather, secret relationships between two longstanding members who finally realized their attraction towards other women, etc.

What on earth have you been up to?

 

[Coriolis]

Well to be fair these are limiting times for the forum. Now I'm not saying that the queen bees have anything to do with it per se, but I do know that every time I've tried asking about what queen bees even are, people suddenly get very quiet and suspicious.

Do you feel limited? If so, that is on you. The rest seems quite a non sequitur.

 

[Sacrophagus]

What is the reasoning for gossip?

People without a hobby.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I guess we all have our Fe moments.

 

[Tina&Jane]

I think it's used as an unhealthy way to feel better about yourself and build community with other people.