Siúil a Rúin
when the colors fade
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2007
- Messages
- 14,044
- MBTI Type
- ISFP
- Enneagram
- 496
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
There were a number of excellent comments in your post, but this last line struck me in particular. If a person goes to a counselor expecting them to "fix" the problem then they will be disappointed. Counseling is about fixing your own problems, but having someone who listens carefully enough to be able to help you hear yourself. We are not always conscious of how much we don't listen to our own selves or how much it is possible for a human being to settle into a state of cognitive dissonance filled with contradictions. The counselor helps increase an awareness of what you feel by showing you ways to identify emotional cues early on, they can give you strategies for regulating emotions, they can point out your contradictions and circular reasoning, etc.It is just as important for the patient to be committed and open-minded as it is the therapist. More-so infact. We each hold the key to ourselves.. but a good therapist will know which locks they go in and how to open them when the key breaks off.
I do think it is possible for someone to be a "bad" counselor as has been described in some examples in this thread. It is actually bad if they do not have respect in the treatment of their client, or if they impose their own values rather than understanding the complexities of their client's individuality, personal relationships, culture, etc. Also, it is a bad counselor who violates the ethics of their profession by taking advantage of people in a vulnerable state, and that has happened as well. But a person is not a bad counselor if the client refuses to explore their own issues or refuses to grow or make use of the opportunity they have been given.