LucieCat
New member
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2017
- Messages
- 663
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
- Enneagram
- 6w7
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/so
Sometimes I forgive, and other times it's more like "I really don't care anymore."
Actually most times, my anger and grudges just sort of fall into the "it doesn't matter anymore" category.
And sometimes I just sort of forget if the person wasn't that impactful in my life. I was talking to a friend of mine since high school, who mentioned a former classmate of ours who hung around the same social groups (though neither of us were ever really friends with her). I had totally forgotten about this girl, who I saw as a blatant, self-absorbed, and judgmental hypocrite and let her know why and how her her behavior was bad on several occasions. This is uncharacteristic for me, and frankly if I were a more aggressive person, I could have called her out a lot more.
My friend mentioned that reflecting back, she realized that this girl would either (intentionally or unintentionally I'm not sure) trigger her severe anxiety attacks. After not seeing this individual in several years, my anger at her surged up again. Mainly because I never saw this girl do the things that caused my friend to have her anxiety attacks (though I'm honestly not surprised at all). She probably never did these things around me because she knew I wouldn't stand for it. And if our paths should ever cross again, I can't guarantee that I would tell her "Hey that was not cool. You've probably changed, but don't do that ever again."
But I had just sort of forgotten about her because she wasn't that important or influential in my life. Honestly, we didn't even know each other well. Just had mutual friends.
I dealt with her when I needed to. She tried to justify insulting my friend's belief in God once by saying that she was an atheist. My friend was taken aback because, obviously, being and atheist is not a blanket check to be a jerk about all other beliefs. He just stood there stunned, and she challenged him. So I snapped at her. I don't remember what I said. It may have been something like "Be quiet. Can't you see that he's trying to process the absolutely ridiculous, illogical justification for why you think you don't have to respect others' believes?"
I also once gave her a very stern lecture that I could have whoever I wanted come sit with me at lunch. And if she had a problem with any of my friends, she was free to leave because no one else had a problem with a specific friend of mine coming to sit with us. Don't think this really sunk in with her.
But in the end, I just don't really care anymore. This girl angered me to no ends. But, there are bigger problems in this world than a girl I haven't laid eyes on in years.
Actually most times, my anger and grudges just sort of fall into the "it doesn't matter anymore" category.
And sometimes I just sort of forget if the person wasn't that impactful in my life. I was talking to a friend of mine since high school, who mentioned a former classmate of ours who hung around the same social groups (though neither of us were ever really friends with her). I had totally forgotten about this girl, who I saw as a blatant, self-absorbed, and judgmental hypocrite and let her know why and how her her behavior was bad on several occasions. This is uncharacteristic for me, and frankly if I were a more aggressive person, I could have called her out a lot more.
My friend mentioned that reflecting back, she realized that this girl would either (intentionally or unintentionally I'm not sure) trigger her severe anxiety attacks. After not seeing this individual in several years, my anger at her surged up again. Mainly because I never saw this girl do the things that caused my friend to have her anxiety attacks (though I'm honestly not surprised at all). She probably never did these things around me because she knew I wouldn't stand for it. And if our paths should ever cross again, I can't guarantee that I would tell her "Hey that was not cool. You've probably changed, but don't do that ever again."
But I had just sort of forgotten about her because she wasn't that important or influential in my life. Honestly, we didn't even know each other well. Just had mutual friends.
I dealt with her when I needed to. She tried to justify insulting my friend's belief in God once by saying that she was an atheist. My friend was taken aback because, obviously, being and atheist is not a blanket check to be a jerk about all other beliefs. He just stood there stunned, and she challenged him. So I snapped at her. I don't remember what I said. It may have been something like "Be quiet. Can't you see that he's trying to process the absolutely ridiculous, illogical justification for why you think you don't have to respect others' believes?"
I also once gave her a very stern lecture that I could have whoever I wanted come sit with me at lunch. And if she had a problem with any of my friends, she was free to leave because no one else had a problem with a specific friend of mine coming to sit with us. Don't think this really sunk in with her.
But in the end, I just don't really care anymore. This girl angered me to no ends. But, there are bigger problems in this world than a girl I haven't laid eyes on in years.