Fi vs Fe Explained!

[Doctorjuice]

Ok here is the video:

http://youtu.be/vGtpBNufH5U

I'm 70-75% sure you are Fe.

EDIT: As in, you use Fe.

Also, question to all FPs: How often do you find yourself significantly affected by others' emotions?

 

[The Great One]

I'm 70-75% sure you are Fe.

EDIT: As in, you use Fe.

That seems to be the common consensus yes. Hey [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION], what do you think?

 

[Elfboy]

That seems to be the common consensus yes. Hey [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION], what do you think?

I'm 95% sure you are Fe. when I explained Fi to you over the phone you sounded kinda like "huh? that's possible?" and you related more to the struggles of Fe users in regards to struggling with previously indoctrinated values.

 

[The Great One]

I'm 95% sure you are Fe. when I explained Fi to you over the phone you sounded kinda like "huh? that's possible?" and you related more to the struggles of Fe users in regards to struggling with previously indoctrinated values.

Did you watch the video though? Did the video confirm your beliefs?

 

[Elfboy]

Did you watch the video though? Did the video confirm your beliefs?

there's a video? I'll take a look
Edit: yes, DEFINITELY ENTP 6w7 or 7w6 So/Sx (you might want to ask [MENTION=5356]Speed Gavroche[/MENTION] more about that)

 

[Doctorjuice]

That seems to be the common consensus yes. Hey [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION], what do you think?

Do you consider yourself having deep and complex inner emotions that you are very selective in sharing? 1-10, 1 being definitely not, 10 being definitely.

Do your conversations with people seem to flow very quickly or do you often find yourself taking what someone's said and then really thinking it through before you continue talking? 1-10 again, 1 being the first part, 10 being the second part.

 

[Speed Gavroche]

there's a video? I'll take a look
Edit: yes, DEFINITELY ENTP 6w7 or 7w6 So/Sx (you might want to ask [MENTION=5356]Speed Gavroche[/MENTION] more about that)

I agree.

 

[highlander]

But they show outward expression, even if you aren't seeing their true inner self. If an ISFJ cares about you, and you're crying your eyes out, they're not gonna look at you and say "oh." They're also more inclined to social norms of expression of caring than the strange and unemotional acts of service you might see with an ISTJ. An ISTJ might leave some types wondering if they love them at all, because they don't know to interpret their loyalty, consistency, gifts, and acts of service as love, because you're not getting any mushy-gushy affection or saying "I love you, you mean the world to me" etc.

Like I remember once I said to my grandfather when I was a moody teenager that he didn't love me. He said, "WHAT THE HELL I HAVE GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING. I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND." And now as an adult I see it so clearly, that I would have been nowhere without him, and he was more consistent and protective and structured in my life than my own mother.

I still think with an ISFJ you'd have less doubts.

Maybe you would have less doubts than with an ISTJ but I dont see ISFJs as being mushy gushy at all.

This is interesting. I’ve given less thought to that aspect. I’d be interested in any fleshing out of this idea you’d be willing to provide.

I was getting a manicure the other day and was asking the little asian lady who was doing it questions about herself during the process. She seemed very unaccustomed to having anyone ask her about herself, and was giving short, quick answers while looking down. I noticed after she looked up at me and we made eye contact her demeanor changed and she looked back down and started to talk more and ended up telling me quite a bit about herself and some hard times she had had. Maybe something about my eyes conveyed something? Dunno…

I have just noticed that IXFPs very much seem to communicate with their facial expressions and eyes. You need to interpret those cues in order to understand them. They dont verbalize.

 

[highlander]

But they show outward expression, even if you aren't seeing their true inner self. If an ISFJ cares about you, and you're crying your eyes out, they're not gonna look at you and say "oh." They're also more inclined to social norms of expression of caring than the strange and unemotional acts of service you might see with an ISTJ. An ISTJ might leave some types wondering if they love them at all, because they don't know to interpret their loyalty, consistency, gifts, and acts of service as love, because you're not getting any mushy-gushy affection or saying "I love you, you mean the world to me" etc.

Like I remember once I said to my grandfather when I was a moody teenager that he didn't love me. He said, "WHAT THE HELL I HAVE GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING. I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND." And now as an adult I see it so clearly, that I would have been nowhere without him, and he was more consistent and protective and structured in my life than my own mother.

I still think with an ISFJ you'd have less doubts.

Maybe you would have less doubts than with an ISTJ but I dont see ISFJs as being mushy gushy at all.

This is interesting. I’ve given less thought to that aspect. I’d be interested in any fleshing out of this idea you’d be willing to provide.

I was getting a manicure the other day and was asking the little asian lady who was doing it questions about herself during the process. She seemed very unaccustomed to having anyone ask her about herself, and was giving short, quick answers while looking down. I noticed after she looked up at me and we made eye contact her demeanor changed and she looked back down and started to talk more and ended up telling me quite a bit about herself and some hard times she had had. Maybe something about my eyes conveyed something? Dunno…

I have just noticed that IXFPs very much seem to communicate with their facial expressions and eyes. You need to interpret those cues in order to understand them. They dont verbalize.

 

[Hazashin]

Just occurred to me. I have notice my Fi dom friends do this really searching eye contact--are really intense with their eyes when looking at you, like as a major tool to understand something I am saying, or me.

I wonder if it's because Ne/Se is their aux function? Like moreso than an Se/Ne dom because their aux Fi wouldn't drive them so much to need to see deeply into another's eyes.

In contrast, I won't use eye contact much at all to understand someone, I don't find it helpful. I reserve eye contact for super intense moments. I use my intuition predominantly, and my introverted sensing.

Hmm....I've never really known any ixfps that didn't make serious eye contact. I guess you are one exceptional lady.

This is hilarious. I have a friend who used to call me Dr. Lightman (from the show “Lie to Me”). Of course I consider that a gross exaggeration. But it is true that I consider eyes the windows of the soul, and I tend to deeply regard someone when I am listening to them (I take in more than just the eyes, though… my periphery is concerned with all body language and voice intonation and flow of conversation… taking in everything and forming a composite). I think with me it is very much Ne, in the service of Fi. I had an INTJ friend who prided himself on his smoothness and stealth who once told me that I was the only person who could ever consistently tell he was lying/bending the truth/omitting something.

I expend a lot of energy and focus reading people for two reasons 1.) I genuinely want to know them and understand them as individuals so I can appreciate them and be of the most effective help to them, (Fi and sx stacking) and 2.) it’s of paramount importance to me to understand others’ intentions and motivations in order to deflect and neutralize insincere or self-serving behavior and protect myself (also Fi and the sp part of my stacking). I’ve studied PUA extensively for the same reasons, probably more in depth than most PUAs have.

Hmm, I might reconsider my MBTI type then. I know I have trouble looking at people's eyes that I don't know very well.

But when I'm not uncomfortable, when I look, it is usually pretty intense.

Sorry to buck the trend but I avoid eye contact habitually. Perhaps when I do look at someone it seems intense but mostly I offer next to no eye contact (ie. it's Asperger's-like), which give the appearance I'm detached and not listening at all. Conversely, the reason I look away is so I can listen more carefully without distractions.

Yes, I am just like this! ^

And I also relate to these:

In my daily life people say Im sweet and quiet until they get me to open up.

I mean look how expressive someone like Fireshield is here, but then says he's afraid to even talk to a girl IRL.

My ISTP was like wow why are you so intense after knowing me for OVER A YEAR. You either have to get close to me or know me on a daily basis to get me to really show what's going on inside of me.

The exceptions would include meeting me if I were angry or tipsy.

Agreed totally. Few people see what I feel deeply as I recognize that it would be odd to them. Thus I play, I energize others, I bring a bit of bubble into each conversation and I exchange lots of ideas. I make random jokes to make them laugh. But none of that is what I feel deeply about-actually very often all of that aims to avoid topics I feel deeply about. I once saw another enfp say we use Ne to "fake" people out to avoid emotionally intense topics. Highly evasive.

For instance rather than telling you about my family or what I feel about them, instead I would turn the conversation to your family and listen to what you chose to share and weave the conversation around topics of interest to you. I'd then pay a lot of attention to things around me-food, wine, surroundings and let Ne and Fi sort of dance along them. A great deal of momentary pleasure and happiness can be molded around an interaction with another without actualy exposing deep feelings on a topic. None of it on purpose, rather just natural evasive patterns that can be seen in retrospect.

I agree that introverted Fi types have more of a "mask" than maybe extroverted Fi types do, even Jung talks about this. It's the apparent childlike banality or coldness...you see the coldness in IxFPs but most often in IxTJs, that "precious oh my precious" tertiary Fi.

I disagree with Dr. Juice though that Fi types' smiles don't reach their eyes, as if our expressions are fake. We may seem more unresponsive or even stiff or "posed" (in a lot of my pictures of myself for example, I know I'm very posed, and sometimes don't smile...) unless we GENUINELY FEEL SOMETHING STRONGLY.

I do think Dr. Juice is misinterpreting the "mask" of the Fi type in too extreme of a fashion...but I know it exists. I remember my exes mother thinking I was "cold" until she got to know me. People are often shocked when they get to know me how expressive or assertive I actually am capable of being, because I think when they meet me what they see on the surface is a rather placid, quiet individual.

I've been told I'm cool at first, then once I'm comfortable, very animated.

Fi users control their facial expressions and don't show you emotions they don't want you to see, also they don't show their emotions as naturally as Fe users. Fe users show their emotions almost immediately and are a bit more open book. If they don't want to show you their emotions they're going to have a tougher time doing so.

I agree that ExFPs show more emotion than IxFPs. IxFPs' Fi is stronger and more pronounced than ExFPs' Fi. Their inner-world of emotions is very deep and complex. Because of this, IxFPs' might not even be capable of fully expressing their deep, complex inner emotions externally, whereas the ExFPs find it easier expressing their inner emotions just because their inner emotions aren't as deep. IxFPs are more selective about the emotions they share because they have "more" emotions to choose from, so to speak.

But that's just me going off on a tangent. Differences between all xxFPs and all xxFJs: FPs have deep, inner emotions they may or may not choose to reveal. FJs' emotions are very immediate and they readily reveal them. Also, I want to say that FJs' emotions are externally-driven but I'm not sure if that is correct.

I was getting a manicure the other day and was asking the little asian lady who was doing it questions about herself during the process. She seemed very unaccustomed to having anyone ask her about herself, and was giving short, quick answers while looking down. I noticed after she looked up at me and we made eye contact her demeanor changed and she looked back down and started to talk more and ended up telling me quite a bit about herself and some hard times she had had. Maybe something about my eyes conveyed something? Dunno…

Actually, I think that's a cultural thing. I know that I've heard multiple times that it is not polite to look people in the eyes in some cultures of Eastern Asia.

 

[Doctorjuice]

[MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION]

I will be doing a video talk with an ISFJ sometime soon in the future and then you will see what I'm talking about.

 

[highlander]

[MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION]

I will be doing a video talk with an ISFJ sometime soon in the future and then you will see what I'm talking about.

Ok. I do know something about ISFJs though.

 

[Elfboy]

I agree.

do you think he's 6w7 or 7w6?

 

[Speed Gavroche]

do you think he's 6w7 or 7w6?

My impression is more 7w6: he release a sort of "Genius of the Lamp" from Alladin vibe. But he type himself as a 6, so I can be wrong.

 

[Thalassa]

Maybe you would have less doubts than with an ISTJ but I dont see ISFJs as being mushy gushy at all.

Ive dated a couple of ISFJ men. They're more understated than an ESFJ but they're still pretty obviously Fe.

 

[Thalassa]

[MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION]... You're INTJ. Your Fe is super low. Its my opposing personality complex (which is why I find it sexy in men, if not as ideal as Te/Fi and have TONS of Fe dom female friends.) Is it possible that your Fe is so bad that an IxFJ can seem more mysterious to you, like you have to be beaten over the head with Fe to spot it?

 

[Eric B]

Except that IxFPs are also "Behind the Scenes" and people are always going on about cold Fi.

I think that would be "cold" in a different way (than an NFJ's directiveness, which is connected with Ni). I think it is warm, but it's a deeper warmth that is not as visible as Fe, which seems to be what we see as warmth.
Now that's for an FP. A TJ's Fi will likely be a bit more "cold", because it is really a reflection of the preferred Te, which like Ni, is always "directive" in a preferred position.

 

[Thalassa]

The one possible exception could be an INTP, because it is so minimal.

ti is what bugs me - that and when a te type has no fi development I may want to break their head. My bff from childhood is ENFJ and my closest sister is ESFJ, though we clash at times. My ISFJ sister is the easiest to get along with, but the ESFJ and I have more to discuss. My longest relationship so far was with an ESFJ and I currently have a dear (but sometimes annoying who I have to get breaks from) ESFJ friend. I think my fwb is actually a reserved ESTP cuz he seems to have more Fe and less bothersome Ti...his Fe is just of the flaky childlike sort of the young ExTP. I don't understand SFJ hatred unless they're deeply conservative and our values clash, or if an ExFJ won't give me space and privacy. Otherwise love a lot of them.

 

[highlander]

[MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION]... You're INTJ. Your Fe is super low. Its my opposing personality complex (which is why I find it sexy in men, if not as ideal as Te/Fi and have TONS of Fe dom female friends.) Is it possible that your Fe is so bad that an IxFJ can seem more mysterious to you, like you have to be beaten over the head with Fe to spot it?

It's a good question. It's easier for me to spot Fe than Ni actually. Is it foreign? Absolutely. Mysterious? Maybe it was at one time. I would say that I was very impressed by others who seemed to have the aptitudes associated with Fe. I knew they thought very differently and there were perspectives that I did not have which were quite valuable. So, I learned to rely on the judgment of others who were strong in that.

 

[Redbone]

Yes it sounds very typical of INTP. INTPs have Fe as their last function so Fe is going to be not nearly as easily noticed as ExFJ types. It's obvious you care a good deal about what other people think.

Compare yourself to an INTJ. INTJs could care less about a lot of the things you mentioned. This is because they use Fi. How they come across to people, whether the other person feels comfortable...INTJs don't naturally care about these things. INTPs do.

As you develop your Fe you'll start to be able to express emotions more naturally. Notice how your Fe flares out when you're around people you know well and are very comfortable around.

Hope that helped! (For instance, this last sentence you'd unlikely find an INTJ using. No offense to any INTJs.)

I've wondered about this myself. It does seem to be pretty common among INTPs. For myself, caring about what others think of me holds little value. It's more important for me to act according to who I believe I am. For people that are very close to me, I do care about being understood. Connections with them are important, shared feelings much less so.

I don't remember where I read it but I think someone said it comes down to Ti having a heavy influence on Fe to give an Fi-like appearance. Reshaping it in a way.