[ENFJ] Female ENFJs vs. Male ENFJs

[BerberElla]

I think there is a difference in perception of men and females of the same type.

Certain behaviours for example that would be normal in a man estj are too masculine in a female estj because society places certain expectations on gender.

So maybe it's more your perception?

 

[Domino]

There really *is* a difference between males and females of type. Estrogen/testosterone spins the tune in remix form.

 

[Domino]

Sigh.
My Ti proclivities have not been satisfied by this.
I utterly feel bewildered.
Was anything clarified?

What if we squeezed you into an ENFJ group hug? Alarming, yes. Fatal, not necessarily.

 

[Totenkindly]

There really *is* a difference between males and females of type. Estrogen/testosterone spins the tune in remix form.

Waaa! So what is the articulatable difference???
I wanted to hear it from the mouth of ENFJs.
Instead I get happy desert driving dialog that I don't understand!

... no *whimper* not the group hug. Please.

 

[Domino]

Waaa! So what is the articulatable difference???
I wanted to hear it from the mouth of ENFJs.

Ok, let's see.

George Clooney is a very good example. He's cavalier, cagey, independent, humorous and swanky. The girl version of this is less cavalier (though I do have a cavalier mode, similar to the boys, esp when dealing with my girlfriends) and are usually flashier in dress and manner. Same levels of bombast, though the boys play it a bit cooler. Less crying with the boys too, I suspect. The boys come off as ENTJs with a soft side at times.

I had a very uncomfortable mutual experience with Taco once. We both bore witness to something VERY mortifying, and his reaction to it was like looking in a mirror.

Instead I get happy desert driving dialog that I don't understand!

LOL! It's an enigma wrapped in a conundrum shrouded in a mystery (sorry for butchering your quote, Mr. Churchill!).

... no *whimper* not the group hug. Please.

You can scream through it if you like.

 

[SpottingTrains]

Waaa! So what is the articulatable difference???
I wanted to hear it from the mouth of ENFJs.
Instead I get happy desert driving dialog that I don't understand!

... no *whimper* not the group hug. Please.

From my own personal experience and from what has been relayed here I would venture to say that male ENFJs are more repressed in an outward emotional capacity than females. I use the word repressed because it illustrates that though outwardly we may not show our feelings for all to see on the inside the are very much alive, maybe even more due to it being more contained.

Now I'm not trying to say all male ENFJs are exactly like this but I'm sure they have each found the socially acceptable amount of emotion to portray given a certain situation.

As for the other differences I think Pink pretty much nailed it, especially with this quote.

The boys come off as ENTJs with a soft side at times

All 3 of my closest friends are all ENTJs (Just figured this out), I wonder if this has any correlation.

So yeah, I think in a group environment the differences between ENFJ females and males become less apparent. While in a one on one setting where emotions come into play much more the differences may be easier to spot.

 

[ENFJ_Catholic]

I gather (or at least sense) that us male ENFJs have that usual outside, worldly push to be more extraverted and independent, like what Pink said.

We're supposed to be cool, collected, always moving... but at the same time listening the whole way... waiting for the right time to interject our thoughts—those deep things from the recesses behind our refined, outward sensibilities and appearances.

We try to be all things for all, but in the end cannot fully. We must balance the idealistic with the realistic—the future with the here-and-now. We must try what cannot be fully done; we must love without the expectation of love in return.

 

[runvardh]

I always thought that the biggest differences were, theoretically, one I more than likely would drool over and can get knocked up, the other I wouldn't and can't.

Oh yeah, check this out...


=^.^=

 

[OrangeAppled]

I don't know if I know any ENFJ females. There's only one girl I suspect may be one, but I don't know her well enough yet. If she is one, then she is pretty, smart, warm/outgoing without being overwhelming, and has great unique style, yet she is so confident it seems men cower and hide from her.

The ENFJ men usually aren't too good-looking , which must be natures way of checking their ego, because ENFJ charm + good looks seems like a recipe for a huge head on a man. Look at George Clooney...if he is an ENFJ and not an ENTJ, it shows you how arrogant a good looking one could become .

The ENFJ guys I know definitely seem a bit caddish, but in a playful and good-natured way (if that makes sense). They also ultimately have huge hearts and don't want to harm anyone. All of them have this vision of finding the one girl for them, but in the meantime they surround themselves with female friends and flirt like mad. They all have a melancholy side, but counter it with their silly humor. They put on this charming, confident face but deep down have some big insecurities.
They all can appreciate aesthetics, yet strangely cannot be bothered much with their own grooming & dress. They are all clearly Fe to me, and I'd never confuse them with an ENTJ, but it could be their environment and life circumstances which don't make them interested in putting on any macho front. However, I doubt any of them would see themselves as "emotional". I think they see themselves as sort of "progressive" men.

 

[ENFJ_Catholic]

Yes, we're all a bunch of Quasimodos ringing bells in towers... Not really!

 

[BlackCat]

Seeing as how virtually nothing got accomplished on the first four pages...

I've noticed that male ENFJs and female ENFJs are VERY different. What are some differences that you (anyone) has noticed? Males and females of the same type are very different from each other in some ways and very similar to each other in other ways. Speaking of ENFJs, what are some differences you people have noticed? I'm interested in something to read about this that makes sense so that I can apply it to the people that I know. I know that they're different from each other (male ENFJ vs female ENFJ) but I can't quite put it into words...

 

[BlackCat]

Bump?

 

[hommefatal]

I think male ENFJs are more charming and female ENFJs are more tough.

 

[BlackCat]

I think male ENFJs are more charming and female ENFJs are more tough.

Hmm, I was under the impression that it was the other way around.

Maybe how "tough" one of them is depends on how psychologically healthy they are?

 

[hommefatal]

Hmm, I was under the impression that it was the other way around.

Maybe how "tough" one of them is depends on how psychologically healthy they are?

Maybe. I was thinking of tough more like 'bitchy' and men "shouldn't be" bitchy.

 

[Domino]

The ENFJ men usually aren't too good-looking , which must be natures way of checking their ego, because ENFJ charm + good looks seems like a recipe for a huge head on a man. Look at George Clooney...if he is an ENFJ and not an ENTJ, it shows you how arrogant a good looking one could become .

George is an excellent example. I thought he was ENTJ too but Sis said, "You can't see yourself in that guy? Really?" and suddenly it all became so clear to me. George was an ENFJ. The men can behave in a pseudo-logical manner, strictly because they've been societally conditioned to control their emotional displays.

The ENFJ guys I know definitely seem a bit caddish, but in a playful and good-natured way (if that makes sense). They also ultimately have huge hearts and don't want to harm anyone. All of them have this vision of finding the one girl for them, but in the meantime they surround themselves with female friends and flirt like mad. They all have a melancholy side, but counter it with their silly humor. They put on this charming, confident face but deep down have some big insecurities.

Dead on, Orange.

My ENFJ friend Taco, we tease him all the time about being a smooth operator. He scored major babes in high school, partied with the best of them, and managed SOMEHOW to become the only white Student Body president of an all-black school.

He settled down with his LTR, an INFP, and in spite of his occasional outbursts, is a truly kind sweet guy, and painfully aware of wrongs and suffering heaped unfairly on others.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I think male ENFJs are more charming and female ENFJs are more tough.

Both are charming, IMO, but the female ENFJ seems less worried about being vulnerable. I think that's where the "tough" part comes through for the guys. They have to maintain a more masculine face in society. They still come across as very warm, though....instead of "tough", I might say "nonchalant", although some are more practiced at it than others.

 

[Domino]

Nonchalant. A good word for it.

 

[Glycerine]

Whoo. I act more like a male ENFJ then.

 

[hommefatal]

Whoo. I act more like a male ENFJ then.

Human behaviour varies a lot.